tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24224117207835418472024-03-29T05:09:24.336-04:00Catching my BreathAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.comBlogger310125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-39505931965235064342017-10-13T11:00:00.000-04:002017-10-13T11:00:39.159-04:00Devil Dash 5k 2017Another race recap, this one not a month late though! I took a little cutback after <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2017/10/rochester-half-marathon-2017.html" target="_blank">Rochester Half</a> to recover properly but then wanted to get back into things. Last weekend I was looking around at races to run this month in order to get my feet wet to try and run a faster time in November. I wanted some low key races to work on finding my grit again, and also just to enjoy running (I have always loved start lines).<br />
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I had a few options for this past Saturday but chose to do a very small, very low key race in Victor called the Devil Dash. My friends kids are students there, would be running it and supported their school fundraising. Win-Win-Win. I could go run, but also be there to cheer and support them.</div>
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<a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/barleys-postpartum-training-log-week-23/" target="_blank">The week leading up to the race</a> wasn't great running wise. I didn't get in a run until Thursday. Monday and Tuesday it just didn't happen, and Wednesday I wanted to run but was dealing with some vertigo and figured better to lay low (I did get checked out by MD the following day, just to be sure). He gave me the OK to run as long as I wasn't experiencing symptoms and to stop if I did.</div>
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Thursday night I got out for some miles, and Friday I went out as well for some later evening miles and finished with some strides. I felt okay but taking Monday-Wednesday off left me feeling a bit stale. Not a huge deal since the 5k wasn't a goal race, but not ideal.</div>
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I woke up and it was pouring rain, but just sipped my coffee and pumped without stressing about it. Brian and Hannah went with me, we made the 30 minute drive and met up with our friends when we got there. I waited in line a bit for packet pickup, and then stood around for a while. I should have started my warm-up earlier but as my friends husband called it- I had a case of the F'its.</div>
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I was just like, okay cool running a race see what happens not taking it seriously. I saw a girl running a warm-up and I knew she would beat me by about 3 minutes. Yes, I'm serious and spoiler, yes she did. The rain had stopped, but occasionally started misting- it was actually comfortable temp wise so that was helpful.<br />
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I started my warm-up a few minutes before the race and just yogged around the parking lots. I reminisced a bit, as I actually went to Kindergarden at Victor and saw the elementary school, and playground. Though, I got sad when I saw the nice new playground they had- because the old playground was AMAZING. The old playground was a gigantic wooden one, I very specifically remember how good it was- but I think they tore it down for lead issues? I could be wrong. Anyways, I digress.<br />
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I ran over to the start with a few seconds to spare, reset my watch and then we were off. I didn't hit start button properly I guess and finally got it to go a few seconds into the race. Operator error.<br />
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The other girl I had seen pre-race and I took off out front, a few teenage boys did too but then we dropped them. I smiled because quite frankly it's always fun when women lead a race. I kind of set a goal to 'chick' the field. It gave me something non time related to work on. I hung with the other girl for a 1/4 mile or so and then let her go because yeah, definitely not going to keep up.<br />
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The course was a double loop with lots of turns around the campus. The road was open one way, so there were still some cars. Not a big deal, but due to the nature of things it was hard to run tangents. The other girl increased that lead more and more by the minute but I could see her in the distance which kept me pushing since no one else was really around me (again, super small race). About halfway through the first loop a guy latched onto my shoulder and I couldn't shake him but it was good because it kept me on my toes and from slacking off the pace without anyone around me. I never saw him but I heard him. We rounded the first loop and I saw Brian, Hannah and our friends. I waved and then kept going trying to keep the heavily breathing dude from passing me.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoAMJb93yZLX_o7mRfLO3Bdkl7U4rFoY6wOG6XycZd28gBFtBhEA9xfUVM_6RnzAY5rfnOXvt3xx1W5PLjufRjOprpdIHGkO-rC-HGFkNt0dAwhbX7n6Jh6RcISEticKRhBS6PctJr0XE/s1600/IMG_20171009_124134_671.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1018" data-original-width="1018" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoAMJb93yZLX_o7mRfLO3Bdkl7U4rFoY6wOG6XycZd28gBFtBhEA9xfUVM_6RnzAY5rfnOXvt3xx1W5PLjufRjOprpdIHGkO-rC-HGFkNt0dAwhbX7n6Jh6RcISEticKRhBS6PctJr0XE/s320/IMG_20171009_124134_671.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">P.S. The <a href="http://amzn.to/2zlJ51N" target="_blank">Saucony Freedom Hat</a> is quite possibly one of my favorite running hats. <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/JAvGnA" target="_blank">SUPER lightweight</a> and comfortable! </td></tr>
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There was a walk in conjunction with the run so I knew the second loop would be passing walkers, and others from the run. I did a lot of weaving but tried to cheer on people at the same time. I lost the heavy breather about halfway through the second loop. I knew my second mile was slower than first, but tried to pick it up through the finish. I looped back through and then cut onto the track and around to find the finish chute. I hadn't been paying attention to my watch so was happy to see 19:XX as I approached and eventually finished in 20:09.<br />
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I cut back around after the finish and found my people which is always the best feeling. I immediately <a href="http://amzn.to/2wU80bb" target="_blank">chugged some nuun</a> and caught my breath. After that we went back to the corner before the track to watch for my friends kids coming through, they did amazing! It was great to see so many kids and families out there supporting the school but also being healthy and active.<br />
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<b>Thoughts on the race:</b> I am really happy and quite frankly never would have thought I would be as close to breaking 20 again postpartum as I am right now. Speed has always come a little quicker (pun intended) to me versus endurance. But I'm really happy with where I am at, and it's a good testament to the fact that it's not always about running ALL the miles. I'm not running an exorbitant amount of miles right now and haven't been doing a ton of workouts but I'm still progressing. Consistency, and doing what works for me is the key.<br />
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With that said, I think I'm in sub-20 shape. <a href="http://amzn.to/2ghhwlE" target="_blank">My garmin</a> measured long (loop course and not being able to run tangents I expected that), and <a href="https://www.strava.com/activities/1219133502" target="_blank">Strava told me I was 19:38 for the 5k</a>. I AM NOT CLAIMING I RAN 19:38, my official time is 20:09 and yes that is my time. <u>You don't get to claim other results than the race ones</u>. BUT, I can look at my race and how I ran it and say that I'm right there for getting my 5k times back down. I can say that given a course I can run tangents better, and a race with more competition to work with I can absolutely run faster. I say this, because it's exciting to me. It also reaffirms my thoughts on taking this fall to just run shorter races and focus on having fun!<br />
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I am running another 5k tomorrow, and then planning on just some workouts for a few weeks. I'd like to see what I can do on November 4th at the East Ave 5k as a "goal" and then potentially a 5 miler or 10k later in November as well. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-69172133248611090462017-10-11T15:00:00.000-04:002017-10-11T15:00:13.570-04:00Rochester Half Marathon 2017<b>A few weeks behind on this recap, but better late than never! The race was September 17th, and my first half marathon since having Hannah!</b><br />
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<b>"Training"</b><br />
Probably best to back up a tiny bit and talk about the lead up to this race. When I started running again I kind of had Rochester half in my head. I wasn't overly enthused for the race itself but more for the distance, and easy logistics for my first half marathon back postpartum. The course changed a few years ago, and this would be the first time I ran the new course (though I knew the terrain pretty well regardless except one section which will come into play later on).<br />
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Based on how my return to running had been going (<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2017/09/running-update-20-weeks-postpartum.html" target="_blank">20 weeks postpartum running update</a>), I felt pretty good with where I was at. I knew I needed to be consistent with training, work on some hills, and start digging into my gritty reserves for race day.<br />
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Workout wise I hadn't done a ton but I wasn't flying totally without some turnover prep. Bergen 5k in August gave me good idea of where I was at for training and race paces. I knew that I would scale slightly based on experience but also the other way for not having a huge base. I at least had SOME idea where I could expect to be and how I should train.<br />
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<a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/barleys-postpartum-training-log-week-16/" target="_blank">Week of 8/14</a>- no speed workout, long run was 11.2 mile easy progression<br />
<a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/barleys-postpartum-training-log-week-17/" target="_blank">Week of 8/21</a>- Random fartlek run, 2 x (4x400), 12 mile hilly long run<br />
<a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/barleys-postpartum-training-log-week-18/" target="_blank">Week of 8/28</a>- 6 mile hilly fartlek, 15 mile LSD<br />
<a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/barleys-postpartum-training-log-week-19/" target="_blank">Week of 9/4</a>- 2T/4x400/1T/4x200, 10.2 mile hilly relaxed long run<br />
<a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/barleys-postpartum-training-log-week-20-21/" target="_blank">Week of 9/11</a>- 5x 1k @ T/4x200, Rochester Half Marathon<br />
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<b>Pre-Race</b><br />
The morning of the race went pretty smooth, after planning as much as possible and with some help from Brian and friends. I got up super early, pumped while drinking cold coffee, got ready and drove to a parking lot near the start. There, I pumped again in my car (<a href="http://amzn.to/2zgePp9" target="_blank">ordering a car charger</a> was super helpful ahead of time, then packed the <a href="http://amzn.to/2yhg3ly" target="_blank">milk in bags</a> and stored in <a href="http://amzn.to/2zfXEUy" target="_blank">my bottle bag</a> with an ice pack so it didn't go to waste sitting in my car), and <a href="http://amzn.to/2kG1LG6" target="_blank">drank my UCAN</a> while eating some PB&J too. My friend and her husband met me there and took my bag for me so I wouldn't have to worry.<br />
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I jogged the 3/4 mile to the start and did some strides and drills while waiting to go. It was 99% humidity out, and you could definitely feel it. I opted to run in <a href="http://amzn.to/2xzKy2r" target="_blank">sports bra</a> and <a href="http://goo.gl/N3fcuG" target="_blank">bullet shorts</a> (#sobrave) to be more comfortable, and it was a smart move. I also opted to wear my <a href="http://goo.gl/wJK8Lu" target="_blank">fastwitches</a> instead of <a href="http://goo.gl/citXw2" target="_blank">Type A racing flats</a> for a little more support on hills; but also because I'm not confident enough in my base at this point to put in the distance with flats. Or I could have just worn <a href="http://goo.gl/oRtWws" target="_blank">5k flats</a> and increased my risk of foot fracture ten-fold, but figured why do something stupid when I know better.<br />
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I planned to run 100% by effort and not pace, and also to NOT stress about a time. I figured I would run 1:35 on a good day, potentially closer to 1:40 given the humidity and terrain. Honestly I really didn't care what I ran, I simply wanted to just run and see what happened.<br />
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{Drank some more water and a pack of <a href="http://amzn.to/2yhi7d9" target="_blank">Honey stinger chews</a> about 5 minutes before the start}<br />
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<b>Miles 1 & 2</b><br />
Running by effort, it's cool. Except when you haven't been training that long and really haven't re-honed in your pacing skills. Took off with the crowd, slightly downhill and wrapped up the first 2 miles in 6:37 (LOLOLOLOL), but at least chilled a bit for 6:55 mile 2.<br />
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<b>Miles 3-5</b><br />
I knew these miles very well, and with the downhill terrain tried to go with effort but also reel in a bit. I enjoy running down through turning point park and over the boardwalk. I knew that the short steep Petten st. climb would be a pain but one that was short lasting. Honestly, I don't even remember going up it, except hearing my friend Dave cheering for me at the top. I knew I would see Brian around mile 5 so it gave me something to look forward to. I saw my friend Maria cheering, and then saw Brian and Hannah standing near the corner cheering and it was honestly one of my favorite parts of the morning. 6:50, 6:55, 6:56<br />
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<b>Miles 6-9</b><br />
Seeing Brian and Hannah put some pep in my step as I went over the O'Rourke bridge and then up Thomas hill. I worked with a few other runners and we just trucked along. The stretch along St. Paul is gradual incline but straight shot so easy to zone out. I found myself wanting a turn or some change in terrain to force my mind to work a bit more. I was happy with the consistent groove I held through this section though and felt pretty smooth. I took a gel somewhere in here, with a few swigs of water at an aid station. Got to see a few friends along this section which is always helpful too! 7:08,7:02,6:58,7:07<br />
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<b>Miles 10 & 11</b><br />
After mile 9 I didn't know the course until the last half mile. This isn't a complaint, this isn't a fault, this is just unfamiliar territory and part of my city I haven't run before. If anything it was good because it made my mind work a bit more trying to figure out where I was going. I had been told there was a hill around 11, and I naively assumed it was indeed shortly before or at 11. There was a few little rollers as we weaved through the falls/bridges, I was getting tired but knew I could hold till the finish. I hit mile 11 and assumed I wasn't paying attention and ran the hill. Wrong. 7:21,7:33<br />
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<b>Mile 12</b><br />
So a little after 11 we looped through a spot where I really didn't know the area, crossed a cool metal bridge and then...I looked to my left and saw a hill and was like- oh that sucks at least we don't....oh come on we're going up that? As a standalone hill it's FAR from the hardest I've done. But being at mile 11.5ish of a half marathon, and also being BROKEN CONCRETE AND SHITTY ROAD CONDITIONS...I was annoyed. I got part way up it and decided to hike for about 20 seconds. According to my gps file/strava this didn't even slow me down much because I was hiking at the speed I was trying to "run" it. This also allowed me to pay more attention to where I was stepping as not to break my ankle. But, alas I got to the top and took some water from an aid station and kept going. 7:47<br />
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<b>Mile 13 & through the finish</b><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS8PK-tOsHmPBoD7vqhQvB6YgyOTWl40EFnNKXY-iY6EPNhfoJR4I9-R_RIom6xqiTmy_sRNxAY5xpgn0YBF7PK4-34_ipyHO3-VsKF17qKRc2p3NTDyuzfLAxD_1GpIx_UMgmrVgKpJo/s1600/Rochester+half+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="729" data-original-width="440" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS8PK-tOsHmPBoD7vqhQvB6YgyOTWl40EFnNKXY-iY6EPNhfoJR4I9-R_RIom6xqiTmy_sRNxAY5xpgn0YBF7PK4-34_ipyHO3-VsKF17qKRc2p3NTDyuzfLAxD_1GpIx_UMgmrVgKpJo/s400/Rochester+half+2.jpg" width="241" /></a>This is where fast start + lack of good base training really kicked in and I was just tired and wanted to be done. I wasn't running with many people around me and just willed my way through the last bit. Crossing over the Pont De Rennes bridge was cool, through high falls area and then towards the stadium for the finish. I was cramping a bit and so focused on just being done that I didn't see people cheering (they were there) but I did hear them which helped. Crossed, chugged some water, chocolate milk and hugged my people. I love my people. We stayed for a while after cheering for finishers and then eventually the full marathoners coming through. It was a hot one in the sun and I didn't envy those going twice as long. I thought I would since I love marathons more than halves, but not that day.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Finish 1:33:34</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: medium;">(7th Female, 1st AG)</span></b><br />
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<b>Post-Race</b><br />
I had no reason to not be happy after the race. I was 4.5 months postpartum/post-cesarean, I ran a half marathon, I saw my people, and I felt an inch closer to being myself again. I don't even regret going out too fast- it was a great reminder of the YEARS of pace work that I did to work on NOT doing that, it's certainly not going to come back to me overnight. Praising my imperfections and progress- because that is where you grow.<br />
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<b>What's next?</b><br />
So admittedly, I thought I would finish regardless of time and feel like I wanted to do more halves this fall and chip away. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. I realized that I am content with shorter stuff right now, and my brain isn't ready for halves or fulls YET. But, I'm also really excited to finish out the year getting a base back, jumping in other shorter races, and going with the flow. I know that when I kick off '18 I'll want a half or a full to work towards, but I'm not in any rush at this moment for that. A few months of other stuff is exactly what I want and need. I'm going to run a few October 5k's to get some more experience back under my belt, and then try to race East Ave Grocery Run on November 4. I don't know what that time will look like but I don't care, I'm just excited to be working hard again but on my own terms as I still work on this new mom thing at the same time.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-75111046293757115682017-09-15T11:20:00.000-04:002017-09-15T11:26:52.761-04:00Running Update: 20 Weeks PostpartumSo it's probably time to update my running blog about my running...novel idea! I actually really enjoy analyzing my running so this kind of stuff is fun for me #nerdalert.<br />
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<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2017/09/life-update-195-weeks-postpartum.html" target="_blank">I gave an update recently on life currently</a>, and briefly talked about maternity leave. I was off for 7 weeks, and the timing worked out that I didn't run until the weekend before I went back to work- so back to work and running at the same time (this was probably really good for me in hindsight). As for working out over maternity leave I was very much on the no-pressure-wagon and did what I could when I wanted to. We walked a lot with the stroller which was just as much for mental sanity and getting out of the house as it was for the physical aspect.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZp9cUcfH6_qsPCXmDUZW5HFy0RZJVZEbd7iMnPzPYHJp0geFJ-euj_w2g4PdfbQqIow1xfswfr0N-ugWPtlZMNOAObDbfkG_lOkDW5ZNBm8aqAry5z-Sxaowi22LLT1yNbHw-LCQL_cA/s1600/18765776_10101203290847997_523727767679964225_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZp9cUcfH6_qsPCXmDUZW5HFy0RZJVZEbd7iMnPzPYHJp0geFJ-euj_w2g4PdfbQqIow1xfswfr0N-ugWPtlZMNOAObDbfkG_lOkDW5ZNBm8aqAry5z-Sxaowi22LLT1yNbHw-LCQL_cA/s320/18765776_10101203290847997_523727767679964225_n.jpg" width="256" /></a>It's worth noting that I really didn't continue to run during pregnancy, so my progression might be slightly different than others. All women are different, all pregnancies and deliveries are different- and all runners are different. My backing off was mostly my choice, I didn't have the desire to run and workout a ton during pregnancy and I embraced the time off. I love racing and have spent the last few years running and training pretty hard and this break came at a great time.<br />
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Some might say that the extended time off would make me want to start postpartum running sooner but it was in fact the opposite- I wanted to make sure that I was ready. I published a log of what I did the first 7 weeks postpartum--><a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/barleys-postpartum-training-log-weeks-1-7-maternity-leave/" target="_blank">here</a>. It's mainly walking, some stretching and strength work and focusing on making sure I didn't do too much too soon. I DID get the itch to start running after a few weeks but fought it off, and stuck to my guns about waiting until my 7 week checkup (had I not had an emergency cesarean delivery I may have considered running 2-3 weeks earlier...maybe).<br />
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During the first 7 weeks I also made a point to regularly check in with my abs and assess for any signs of Diastasis Recti or other issues. My doctor also checked me out at my 7 week appointment. While I had a small space it was nothing concerning, and she told me to continue the exercises and things that I had been doing. While the exercises are nothing taxing I do feel like they helped me regain some core control (after my muscles being cut into during surgery) which made life in general easier let alone working out. <i>{Some links to the exercises I have been doing: <a href="http://inspiredrd.com/2013/11/5-exercises-to-heal-diastasis/" target="_blank">5 exercises for D.R</a>., <a href="https://www.pelvicexercises.com.au/diastasis-recti-exercises/" target="_blank">more here</a>, <a href="http://www.healthline.com/health/fitness-exercise/pelvic-floor-exercises#bird-dog6" target="_blank">Pelvic Floor exercises</a>, <a href="https://www.prevention.com/fitness/strength-training/pelvic-floor-exercises-prevent-urinary-incontinence" target="_blank">4 more pelvic floor</a>}</i><br />
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I also have been doing a lot of work with <a href="http://amzn.to/2fb5Ss7" target="_blank">loop resistance bands</a>. I have done these for years and it's something that truly has helped me get stronger, stay healthier and is a great way to build a good foundation while building up miles again. I've got a simple routine and few exercises (literally some of the exercises are just walking forward and back, side to side...simple!) I do that only takes a few minutes- so not a ton of excuses not to make it happen. It's low impact which is helpful too! <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/10-minutes-to-better-recovery/" target="_blank">What's 10 minutes, right?!</a> <i>{Some Links to loop band workouts: <a href="https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=james+dunne+loop+bands+youtube&qpvt=james+dunne+loop+bands+youtube&view=detail&mid=182EF0B41662CC3C4E98182EF0B41662CC3C4E98&FORM=VRDGAR" target="_blank">James Dunne</a>, <a href="http://pilatesonlinestore.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/81LOnJb0ULL._SL1500_.jpg" target="_blank">Pilates loop band</a>, <a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51TWIpVq5kL.jpg" target="_blank">a few more</a>}</i><br />
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So back to running.... I went for my first run around 7 weeks which was June 17th. From that point on I made a LOOSE plan for each week but it really took a few weeks to even come close to plan. That was much less about how I was physically feeling and more about adjusting to being working mom and also dealing with a few growth spurts with Hannah during that time.<br />
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I didn't follow a set rule such as the 10% rule for mileage. But I also didn't add a ton at a time, and I never increased unless I felt ready. My general rule of thumb was that I wanted to finish each week feeling like I COULD have run more miles, even now 20 weeks PP I am still using that rule of thumb for myself. I haven't finished a week where I felt like I couldn't have done more, but I also know that it's a fine line so I am being cautious. There is no award for rushing back to ALL the miles or races after a baby or injury....and it's especially not rewarding if you come back too soon and get injured or burned out.<br />
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So that is what my weeks have looked like since my first full week of running again. As you can see, gradual build with a few kind of larger jumps but then letting things level out again. The jump from 20 to 27 miles was bigger than planned but I felt good, and even so I proceeded to hold that mileage for a few weeks and even back off a tiny bit just to make sure I was ready.<br />
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A breakdown of the days since running again also shows where I started to throw in some smaller workouts, and gradually build my longer runs. Note: my long runs increased probably a bit more than they should have but I tolerate that well physically and mentally. Long runs are my favorite, and something that is important to me even if not training for a distance race. I have years under my belt of LSD's and it's something I KNOW that I can tolerate, but again I assessed regularly to make sure I didn't overdo it. <i>{not shown on this chart is also that I continued walking a few times most weeks which helps speed recovery but also really helped build my foundation again which I think made my comeback a little bit of easier transition}</i><br />
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Much like mileage, paces are such a relative thing. But it's worth talking about. Pre-pregnancy most of my easy runs were between 7:30-8:30 paces even when training and <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/09/erie-marathon-2015-sub-3.html" target="_blank">running a sub-3 hour marathon</a>. Postpartum now, most of my early runs were between 9:15-10:15 pace and now are more closer to 8:45-9:15 pace. The thing that is also different though is that pace doesn't bother me. While I still slowed down on easy stuff before, it was usually a struggle to do so and these days I could go out and plod miles at a slow pace forever and not bat an eyelash.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4icMl5biCwlwVXBqt26B7fNWJplL6n0uoK0QJIlMatfwNGSBUtFdmzER2PVVxgtefvsOasBk6WFEL8FsfQZg5rBPmqTPuNCc64kviLBw6W4vsVb8D4o-peRzJV5BIAw0_tQxxWGMzTrY/s1600/20768236_10101285886530587_7923312557723522775_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="239" data-original-width="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4icMl5biCwlwVXBqt26B7fNWJplL6n0uoK0QJIlMatfwNGSBUtFdmzER2PVVxgtefvsOasBk6WFEL8FsfQZg5rBPmqTPuNCc64kviLBw6W4vsVb8D4o-peRzJV5BIAw0_tQxxWGMzTrY/s1600/20768236_10101285886530587_7923312557723522775_n.jpg" /></a>I have been using my <a href="http://amzn.to/2jwaI4b" target="_blank">Garmin with optical HR</a> monitor to help me as I get back in shape and make sure I am actually abiding by EASY. Though most of the time I don't even need to or want to look at watch on easy days- I'm just happy to get outside and run. I have a huge appreciation for running for the sake of running and not running for the sake of training that I didn't have before. Though don't get me wrong, I look forward to being in training again and having another goal to work towards but that will come in time.<br />
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I ran my first postpartum race at 15 weeks postpartum, as there was Bergen 5k which I have not missed in years and wasn't going to let this year go by without running. I knew I wouldn't be in peak shape but I also knew the timing would be really good to use as a fitness test. <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BWIcYHGlKFA/?taken-by=losingrace" target="_blank">I ran a solo 5k time trial on July 4th in 23:17</a> (7:30 pace) which was a good test but Bergen in August was a good race situation test to see how I had improved. Between July 4th solo TT and Bergen on August 12th I ran a few fartlek runs for workouts as well as some 400 repeats but nothing crazy.<br />
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Bergen is a competitive race but I was just excited to go out there and be back in the environment and see what I could do. I was excited to have Hannah there and knew that it would help me push to see her sooner. I went out too fast (6:16 hahhahahaha) but stayed consistent around 6:47-6:48 for the rest and finished in 20:47. I was really happy with that time and it was great to rip off the bandaid and race again. It was also nice to have a true race I could use to calculate my Vdot and training times moving forward.<br />
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Also, having my baby girl at the finish was the best thing ever.<br />
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Speaking of Hannah, I love stroller running a lot more than I thought I would. Does that make me sound bad that I wasn't sure if I would like it? Who cares, it's the truth. I am a solo runner, have been for a long time and it's something that works well for me. The first few stroller runs were done with our <a href="http://amzn.to/2x4QVw5" target="_blank">City mini GT</a> (not a running stroller despite the brand being named baby jogger) but our car seat had <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Jogger-Adapter-Connect-1971511/dp/B00HMAJM4Q/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1505487983&sr=1-1&keywords=graco+city+mini+adapter" target="_blank">an adapter</a> that worked with it so it was better than nothing. It's actually not horrible for running, at least shorter and slower stuff.<br />
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Once I realized that I liked stroller running with Hannah, I found a car seat on a mom swap for cheap (with tags on and all!) that would work with my running stroller. Buying a second car seat just for running seemed silly but it was a smart move. I LOVE using my actual running stroller and it is definitely easier. We have a <a href="http://amzn.to/2x3Kx85" target="_blank">Baby Trend expedition jogger</a>, it's considered a "low end" stroller by most runners but honestly I have some friends who have thousands of miles on theirs BT and no issues. I'm not saying BOB's and Thules aren't worth the money, but I think it was the right call for us getting the BT one to start. I don't feel limited with it at all. (The city mini is a great stroller and we love it for everything else...don't want to make it sound like we don't use/love that thing still- it was a great hand me down that gets used super frequently for family walks, shopping and public market trips).<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mini loves stroller runs!</td></tr>
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Hannah does GREAT in the stroller and it will be bittersweet when I don't need the car seat for her in it and I won't be able to stare at her cute face while I run. Though, my little nosy-nellie will love being able to look forward and see so much more when she is turned around! I usually put <a href="http://amzn.to/2wv6z1Q" target="_blank">amazon music on my phone</a> on speaker and put it in the pocket on the stroller while I run. We both like the tunes and I'm still very aware of what's around us. I don't run with the stroller all the time, and there are days where I really need my chill solo runs and I get them- but the stroller is a great option for me to get my runs in but also spend time with Hannah. <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/planning-for-postpartum-running/" target="_blank">Planning for postpartum running</a> was helpful and I'm finding what works and doesn't for us.<br />
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<b>So where am I now and where am I headed with running this fall? Honestly, I don't really know and I'm okay with that! </b><br />
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For starters I am running Rochester Half marathon this weekend, and I am actually really excited about it. It's going to be fun and exciting to be in the racing scene again and I know I'm in better shape than I was a few weeks ago so it'll be cool to see what I can do. It's a hilly course, but I'm not looking to break any records and really just want to soak in the energy.<br />
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Beyond that? I really think I'm just going to maintain miles, workouts, and throw in some races here and there the rest of the year. I have a list of some races that are potentially going to happen but most will be game time decisions based on how things are going in running and life with a baby! This weekend may be the only half I do this fall or I may find one other to do later on as a progression but I'm not super fixed on it. I like the thought of jumping in some 5k, 5 miles, and 10ks between now and December.<br />
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IF (BIG IF) I can maintain mileage and base throughout the rest of the year I will most likely pick a late spring race to train for. BUT (A BIG BUT), that will be made at year end and also be made with a lot of factors that need to be considered (where I am at with Hannah, my job, how running is going, and what things look like for selling our house and moving in the spring). Most days I feel like I'm TRYING to be superwoman as a working mom but I don't want to run myself into the ground and put too much on my plate. With that said, a marathon will most likely happen next year- the itch has started to come back and I miss distance. I have some long term goals I still want to work towards and having a kid has not changed that for me....it just changes how and when I may go about those goals. Next year is going to involve selling/buying houses, Hannah turning ONE, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BYjqOOvFJzI/?taken-by=losingrace" target="_blank">and a wedding</a>....sooooooo running I love you but you're going to be the fifth wheel most of the time.<br />
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I have been keeping weekly <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/author/barley/" target="_blank">training logs going as Barley over at Salty Running</a> so you can follow along over there, <a href="https://www.strava.com/athletes/10764238" target="_blank">I'm also on Strava</a> if you want to giggle at me running endless neighborhood circles with the stroller.<br />
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This post got long so I pulled some things out to put in another post that has answers to some questions I have gotten. Running and breastfeeding/pumping questions. Sports bras for mama's (because man is it different), certain products and clothes that help (postpartum bodies are so different and man things chafe when you haven't run in a while!), maintaining a milk supply with running, and also how my nutrition and diet have changed with postpartum....so if you have any questions let me know and I'll put them in there!<br />
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***Edited to add a disclaimer----I'm not a professional, nor an expert. This is MY personal experience and obviously my first time through postpartum stuff. So take what I say with a grain of salt and remember that everyone is different***<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-87912767780451797952017-09-13T13:40:00.000-04:002017-09-13T13:40:31.091-04:00Life Update: 19.5 Weeks PostpartumLet's see here, last I wrote was <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2017/07/meeting-miss-hannah.html" target="_blank">Hannah's birth story</a> (when she was already two months old). I had a post all jazzed up about my maternity leave and life, the internet ate it (or I accidentally deleted it before it got posted) and I don't feel like re-writing it. The short of it is that I was off for 7 weeks and it wasn't long enough for baby snuggles and bonding but at the same time it was just long enough for my mind. Sitting in a house with a newborn is incredibly snuggly and lonely all at the same time. Netflix binges, yeah they're great...until you kill like 10 seasons of 5 different shows and leave an indent on one end of the couch where you are constantly sitting and milk-maiding. Being cooped up (even though busy with a newborn) was challenging, and if anything increased my anxiety. Going back to work was hard, but in some ways it actually made life a little easier for me, but we will get to that later.<br />
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So here we are over four months into being a mom, and I'm getting the hang of things. By getting the hang of things I mean I basically figure things out and if I don't know I ask one of the many moms in my life and go from there. Some things came really easy to me and others feel like rocket science. Sometimes I use google, but that usually results in a meltdown about how Hannah is going to have a leg fall off or grow a second head. So, usually I just lean on people I trust. Can we just seriously talk about how I have NO idea how I would have done this mom thing as a teen, or early 20-something, or even how the hell I'm doing it now? Anyways, you get the idea. Momming is amazing and challenging all rolled into one and I wouldn't change it for a thing.<br />
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Unless someone knows how to train a lab or a pug to change diapers or at least empty the diaper genie...I would totally change some things if we could make that happen.<br />
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Back to reality though, which involved neither our lab or our pug changing diapers and they are probably sound asleep at home while I type this. I went back to work at 7 weeks postpartum, I'm incredibly lucky to have the time home that I did, and to have a flexible enough job where going back wasn't a TOTAL shock to the system, just 95%. I work 5 days a week at my day job and I also went back to the restaurant part time usually only one night a week though. It's not easy but it's good for all of us.<br />
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Things at home are good, crazy but good. I thought I had online shopping down before, and had no idea how much of a savior it would be with a baby. We used <a href="http://amzn.to/2y6hBww" target="_blank">prime </a>for a lot of things before, and now the biggest thing is <a href="http://amzn.to/2wZIWQZ" target="_blank">subscribe & save</a> (specifically <a href="http://amzn.to/2x1Qjsu" target="_blank">20% off diapers with it</a>!). A friend also got me started on <a href="https://www.ebates.com/r/LEA9483?eeid=28187" target="_blank">using Ebates</a>, which has changed my shopping habits more but also made it even more helpful for me to do online instead of loading little miss up into the car for days on days of errands. We still shop once a week but it's much more streamlined and the rest of the stuff just shows up on my front porch for the mailman to get his strength training in.<br />
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Being a working mom so far has been fairly straight forward. Hannah has amazing childcare between family and friends, and usually it's just a matter of remembering where I have to take her each day and who is going to pick her up. With our work schedules, it's usually me who is on drop-off and pickup duty but Brian tackles other things that make life a lot easier. I thrive off routine and lists and being a mom has made that even stronger- give me ALL the lists, post it notes, and talking myself through the morning to make sure I don't forget anything.<br />
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There has been a LOT of trial and error, but I think that comes with anything but especially being new parents. We are figuring out what works for us, and Hannah and all of us as a family.<br />
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Hannah is doing amazing, and is my favorite little person in the world. She is really coming into her own personality and changing so fast (I know everyone tells you it goes fast, but man...they aren't lying to you!). Being a preemie baby, she is a little behind on some things and has fell typically a week off schedule (<a href="https://www.blogger.com/"><span id="goog_710669722"></span>based on the wonder weeks<span id="goog_710669723"></span></a>) but this isn't super concerning to anyone given her being a "35 weeker" and those schedules are for "full term" or "40 weekers". I still like the book though, and find it's a good reference.<br />
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Surprising to no one, she is a great eater like her mama. She nursed super well for a few weeks and then her reflux got the best of her (and all of our shirts, bedding, and carpets) and we realized that something had to give. She has been on zantac (per her pediatrician) and it helps wonders, on top of that I am exclusively pumping now and we use <a href="http://amzn.to/2xxG8NP" target="_blank">special</a> <a href="http://amzn.to/2wXjP3L" target="_blank">bottles </a>which help a ton (when she nurses she eats too fast which made reflux worse). Exclusively pumping is time consuming, but I love that it's an option (and one that I think is often underutilized), I have a great supply so it works for us. Fed is best, however she gets the food is A-OK by me. We supplemented with <a href="http://amzn.to/2fiXQtV" target="_blank">preemie formula</a> the first few weeks(per her ped) to help her gain weight but she has been on straight breastmilk since about 4 or 5 weeks as she caught up pretty quick. Now here we are starting her on <a href="http://amzn.to/2x0zDjs" target="_blank">single grain oatmeal</a> once a day (WHAT OMG TIME SLOW DOWN), again shocking to no one...she loves it.<br />
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Let's see here, she has been sleeping in her crib for about a month and a half now...she has amazing head control even being small, she hates pushups (I feel you babe, I really do), and she kicks like there is no tomorrow. We bought her a <a href="http://amzn.to/2y5Iz7j" target="_blank">kick and play piano</a> and smarty pants figured it out pretty fast that she kicks...it makes sounds and lights...it's an amazing tool for her to figure things out and for me to make dinner with less interruptions.<br />
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<b>Loves</b>: Clifford on TV, the book The Itsy Bitsy Spider, <a href="http://amzn.to/2fjdVzU" target="_blank">Ferdinand </a>and The Little Engine that Could. We "read" her <a href="http://amzn.to/2y5UamX" target="_blank">The going to bed book</a> every night before bed (I know it by heart now so I more just say it to her while we get her ready), Ducky the pacifier, her <a href="http://amzn.to/2wWFngD" target="_blank">baby recliner (Boppy lounger</a>), all of the stupid noises and faces we make that you can think of, leaves and being outside, stroller runs or walks<br />
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<b>Dislikes</b>: Arthur on TV, The Magic Schoolbus book (leads to serious tears and screams), taking the boogers out of her nose, taking the bottle out of her mouth to burp her, sitting in her car seat without it moving(traffic jams are FUN and usually involve me singing random songs to her).<br />
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Overall she's doing great and doctors are happy with her progress. She needs some baby physical therapy (yes, it's a thing) for her neck/shoulder but it's just a minor thing right now and not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Being her mom is one of the best things ever, I'm so tired and happy and amazed that she is mine.<br />
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While Hannah is rocking her first few months in the world, I'm doing my best to adjust to life as well. Postpartum hormones, anxiety and transitions are incredibly overwhelming and unpredictable. After a few weeks I could tell I was struggling a bit more than I originally thought and opened up with my doctor (which is really hard...because honestly I was so afraid to tell my doctor how I felt and her saying to take my kid away from me or something). Postpartum OCD is real, it's messy, but we are getting through it and I don't have issues talking about it. I won't let it be Voldemort, I won't make myself more afraid by not talking about it. I'm on Zoloft, I have amazing support, and I RUN. We are all happier, healthier and better taken care of this way. I truly do think going back to work helped immensely as I feel stronger mentally when I am productive and my days have a little more of a schedule to them. I hate the term "self care" but man do I have to make certain things a priority for me or everyone else will suffer to.<br />
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In all seriousness though, life is good. Messiness aside, we are figuring things out and soaking in every moment. This is a new phase of life and I'm loving it even when it's really hard. Our relationship has changed in so many ways, but that comes with shifting identities and roles. As much as I fell in love with Hannah when she was born, I also fell in love with Brian all over again watching him become a dad. Sue me for the cheesiness but man it's so true. I've also connected with some amazing women being a new mom, and lucky to have friends who understand life is different these days but they are just as amazing supportive and understanding as they would be otherwise.<br />
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<b>Yeah, life is good. I love our family.</b></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-14393546126045853792017-07-05T15:28:00.002-04:002017-07-05T15:32:17.087-04:00Meeting Miss HannahDear Hannah,<br />
<br />
You're over two months old now! I don't even begin to know where the time has gone, but I do know that every second has been worth it. I've been thinking a lot about your entrance into the world lately and finally wanted to get it written down. The only way it seemed to make sense or come out right, was for me to talk to you about it because it's OUR story.<br />
<br />
We went through a lot during the time you were growing in my belly- <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2017/06/the-third-trimester-roller-coaster.html" target="_blank">particularly during an eventful third trimester</a>. After the second preterm labor stay at Strong, I had no idea just how soon I would be meeting you.<br />
<br />
The week leading up to you being born started out pretty normal, even with just getting out of the hospital again. I was feeling better than I had in a few weeks, and I continued to work at the office, prepare things at home and go on with life as normal as possible. I honestly thought that I had a few more weeks before I would get to hold you.<br />
<br />
Wednesday things started to turn again though. The temperature outside had jumped and carrying twenty extra pounds didn't make the heat any more comfortable. I stayed home from work Wednesday, and tried to relax as you kicked me like crazy. Thursday rolled around and the heat was still draining me but I managed to scrape together a full work day and some errands but was down for the count by the time the evening rolled around. You were kicking downward so hard that I thought you were going to break my water with your foot, or just make me pee my pants. Neither happened, but it wasn't for lack of your trying.<br />
<br />
We were really excited for the weekend ahead. Your Aunt Lauri was in town for your baby shower with your dad's family on Saturday, and Heather was going to be coming for the shower and a half marathon too! I went to work Friday knowing it would be a short day and then head home to prepare for a good weekend. During one of my many bathroom trips between client calls, I noticed I was having <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloody_show" target="_blank">a little show</a>. Not long after that the contractions started and I was packing my things up to go home and sit down to see if it was going to continue. Of course I had to stop at the town hall and pay our taxes on the way, and subsequently freaked everyone out in there. Pregnant woman walking around one hand on her back and the other on her belly and making funny faces. I wasn't sure if you were coming or not, but we were certainly going to freak lots of strangers out in the mean time.<br />
<br />
I called your dad and told him to be on alert, I didn't want him rushing out of work but he needed to at least be ready just in case. Aunt Lauri came over and hung out with us while we relaxed on the couch, and after a few hours the contractions had faded. I figured that this was going to happen quite a few times in the next few weeks until you came- lots of false alarms, and now that I had a better idea of what labor felt like after two hospital stays I felt a little more prepared.<br />
<br />
That evening we gathered at your Nanny and Boppa Galeazzo's house to have dinner and relax while chatting about the shower in the morning. I had a small mommy sized glass of wine to calm my nerves and just sat with my feet up until we went home later on. I crawled in bed and fell asleep thinking about how fun the next few days would be.<br />
<br />
Around four I woke up with the normal (yet annoying) urge to pee. These bathroom trips had become much more frequent in the last few weeks thanks to you hanging out so low. I crawled back in bed really uncomfortable and felt some contractions. I looked at my phone at the time and randomly started checking to see how far apart they were. I figured it would be like Friday and they wouldn't be regular and would fade in a little bit of time.<br />
<br />
I laid in bed while your dad was half asleep next to me. We were procrastinating doing anything about it, because I was afraid of another false alarm. As the minutes passed, the contractions were getting closer, and stronger. I went to the bathroom again, didn't help. I sat in the tub for a shower and tried to relax, the water dripping down on me felt wonderful but wasn't holding a candle to the discomfort that was building by the minute. I dried off and crawled back into bed without brushing my wet tangled hair and just laid there. A few minutes later the contractions were making me twist and turn to try and get comfortable, your dad was telling me to breathe while holding my hand.<br />
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As much as we tried to brush it off, this wasn't going to slow down and I finally made the call to the doctor around 5:30. Having had been hospitalized twice already, they weren't messing around and we were told to get there as quick (but safe) as possible.<br />
<br />
My bags were already packed and I grabbed a towel in case my water broke, we were ready within minutes. My feet got wet as I shuffled through the dewy grass in flip flops to get to the truck and pull myself up. The stillness of a crisp dark morning was actually calming to me as we got on the road to make our way to the hospital. The music was playing in the car as we drove down the road, like a scene from a movie as your dad was holding my hand and reminding me to breathe over and over. We called my parents first, and dad answered with "is it time?" as I tried to maintain my composure and failed pretty miserably we both answered with a firm "yes". After trying dad's parents for a few minutes we finally got through and told them where we were headed, though I'm not sure the seriousness of it came through as well as we thought it did.<br />
<br />
When we got to Strong (a little after 6), we pulled up front and your dad got me in a wheelchair and gave his keys to the guy at the desk (24 hour maternity valet) which was huge...letting a stranger drive his truck! He wheeled me up to the maternity floor where the doctor was waiting for us as soon as the doors opened.<br />
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They got me partially undressed and hooked me up to the monitor at the same time as they were checking my cervix, at the same time I was getting stabbed in the arm trying to get an IV. A lot of things happen at once. It was clear to me how urgent they felt this was, and I realized...this was it. I remember asking what the date was, April 29th they said. Very quickly we had five different people around us talking to us. I was further dilated, my contractions were right on top of each other, and you were stubbornly still trying to come out bottom first.<br />
<br />
"Emergency Cesarean time"<br />
<br />
"General anesthesia"<br />
<br />
"Brian can't come"<br />
<br />
"Kiss goodbye"<br />
<br />
It happened so fast, I was hyperventilating and crying and I admit it wasn't that "Oh my goodness, YAY I'm having a baby right now moment". I was being wheeled away, and your dad was being left alone in a room to simply wait.<br />
<br />
It was scary and I wanted him there with me.<br />
<br />
There were what felt like a hundred people in the operating room. They were strapping me down, I was having contractions while they put in a catheter, at the same time the anesthesiologist was shoving oxygen mask on my face trying to calm me down. Of course I then had a sneezing attack. Let me tell you it's very hard and uncomfortable to sneeze when you are tied down, hooked up to a bunch of machines, crying, and have an oxygen mask on.<br />
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It then truly hit me what was happening. I remember worrying I wouldn't wake up and trying to think what my last words to your dad were (I love you). The anesthesiologist kept talking to me, which helped more than I can say. I have had surgeries before, but the idea of surgery + becoming a mom at the same time (5 weeks early) was overwhelming to me. My brain was being overly dramatic and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of your first pictures taken of you by your dada!</td></tr>
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Waking up after surgery was very lonely. You were no longer in my belly, I had lost my built in companion I had spent 8 months talking to. It was about 8:30 when I started coming around and could make out the time on the clock across the recovery room. The area was eerily quiet except the faint beeping noises from various machines. A few minutes later the doctor had meandered over to me. She had been in delivery and was leaving but wanted to say goodbye. She told me I did great, and that you were healthy and beautiful.<br />
<br />
This is about the time I started crying.<br />
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A few more people came over and said similar things, and I know it was with good intentions but if anything it made me feel sad and lonely. Everyone else had seen you but me, and I was the one who grew you! People were asking me your name and I kept telling them I didn't know. Your dad and I had narrowed it to two, but wanted to meet you first! The nurses were coming by frequently to perform fundal massages, which is not any sort of a relaxing thing by any means. I kept asking when I could see you, your dad or anyone in our family. No answer ever sounded soon enough in my mind. Around 9:30 I was being moved upstairs to our room, where I sat alone for a little while longer waiting for you or anyone that I even knew.<br />
<br />
The door opened and your dad walked in, I think my heart heart skipped a beat just so incredibly happy to see him. Physically and emotionally everything was so hazy, the anesthesia was still having a big effect on me. My mom, dad and sister all walked in too and I became even more emotional. These are my people, and they are your people too. The door opened again and it was my nurse, I think I sank a little when I realized you weren't with her. She assured me that you were on your way.<br />
<br />
A little over 3 hours after you entered the world, you finally entered our hospital room. Your nurse Ashley was as sweet as can be as she wheeled you over to me. Your dad was next to me and my family was watching as you got closer. I was crying before you even got to me, I could finally see you and as she lifted you to me I could hear your little noises. I finally held you in my arms as I cried, and I said "hi baby" and gave you the sweetest kiss I could give.<br />
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Everyone looked at me and asked me about your name and I gave your dad the "I'm sorry I'm about to overrule your name idea" look. I loved both of the names we had (he picked one and I picked the other), but to me you instantly felt like my Hannah.<br />
<br />
Miss Hannah Elizabeth.<br />
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You were born 5 weeks early at 6:32 AM on April 29th, 2017... less than 30 minutes after we arrived at the hospital. You weighed 5lb 6oz, were 19.5 inches long and entered the world with a great big cry. The anesthesiologist is the one who came out and told your dad that you were here brought him to the nursery to wait for you. The doctors brought you in and did all of your checks which you passed with flying colors even for a preemie. I'm incredibly sad that I was not there to see your dad get to hold you for the first time but I know you were in wonderful hands. My family arrived not long later and kept you guys company while I was still being operated on and moved to recovery. Your dad was the only non-medical person to hold you before me- something I am selfishly grateful for.<br />
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I cannot even begin to tell you how happy your dad and I were that day, we spent the rest of the morning the two of us. Talking, holding you and soaking in the fact that we just became parents! Due to your very early arrival, it was your baby shower day! Your dad left for a while to go to the shower to open presents and see family and friends. You and I got some quality snuggle time and nursing practice just the two of us so this worked out. Everyone was sad we couldn't be at the shower but were so excited that you were here and healthy! Your dad did a great job standing in for us at the shower, and luckily had a great friend show up for moral support.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKHE3d_5FsggY9aOTRJrpA1GQ6aNu8N9ApTawRRyWIY64hFwT0Wmb_ccoNN9nad1BX_oFaLaqoT3pSHBHINgt5SKLXGyvPt-GEDSfPgc84qs1XC2cfb1WaGl9KYLBFisS0ciLv6vOMT5M/s1600/68862.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKHE3d_5FsggY9aOTRJrpA1GQ6aNu8N9ApTawRRyWIY64hFwT0Wmb_ccoNN9nad1BX_oFaLaqoT3pSHBHINgt5SKLXGyvPt-GEDSfPgc84qs1XC2cfb1WaGl9KYLBFisS0ciLv6vOMT5M/s320/68862.jpeg" width="320" /></a>Later that day your dad came back to the hospital to see us, and he brought me a full size Rubino's sub. I love you and I gladly gave them up while growing you but I won't say I wasn't VERY excited to inhale that thing now! The evening was more time of you, me and your dad- some of my favorite moments. You were doing SO well latching on and nursing- something we didn't expect since you were preemie, but a good thing all the same. You are a great eater, a true testament to you being my daughter :)<br />
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Sunday was a day filled with family and friends in the hospital. The morning was spent sipping coffee and catching up with your Aunt Heather. In the afternoon you got to see Nana and Boppa Anderson, Aunt Meg, Uncle Justin and your cousins Alden and Max. Later on you finally got to meet Nanny and Boppa Galeazzo! It was a busy day but a good one.<br />
<br />
On Monday we snuggled all day. Quite literally, all day. It was wonderful and you were passing all your checks whenever they came in. Until you didn't. Later in the evening your temperature was a little low after being right on target all day. Being a preemie, they really watch these things super closely. Your medical team decided to bundle you up a little more during the night for sleep and then would reassess from there. If you didn't stay warm enough, you were to be put in an incubator to help you until you could better regulate your temperature on your own.<br />
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When I woke up Tuesday morning, I saw the nurses face and knew you had been put in the incubator over night. What did this mean? I was being discharged today and you were definitely not. I had to go home without you.<br />
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I spent the morning showering and cleaning myself up to feel a bit more human and getting my things ready to leave. My discharge was very...uneventful. I signed what felt like 3000 sheets of paper and I walked myself and my stuff over to the nursery. I spent the day sitting next to your incubator only getting to hold you when you were out to be fed. At that time we went into a small room where we could relax and nurse with you. This room would be like our second home for a few more days.<br />
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Going home later on that day wasn't as hard as I thought at the time. I knew you were in good hands, and I also knew that a nights sleep at home would do me wonders. Your dad and I decided he would still work at least part time this week while you weren't home yet. That way he could save the time off for when we were all home together. I think I was just so excited to be home that my brain wasn't letting me acknowledge the fact that you weren't with us. I called to check on you, and fell fast asleep after hearing you were doing just fine.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's a cute view, but certainly not an easy one.</td></tr>
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I spent all day with you Wednesday, feeding you and cuddling when I could. Reading to you through the incubator the rest of the time. It was hard, but I also knew this could be so much worse. You were five weeks early, a little small, and just needed help to stay warm. The blessing of that was not lost on me, but it didn't mean it was easy. I cried the whole way home that night as it finally was sinking in.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Getting ready for car seat test!</td></tr>
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My days were spent visiting you and my nights were spent calling the nursery to check on you, pumping so you could be having my milk still, and sleeping as best I could. By Friday they pulled you out of the incubator after weaning you the previous night. We were told maybe you could come home Saturday but that Sunday would be more likely. After leaving the hospital on Friday, we went to the store to find some preemie outfits for your tinyhiney and to get a few last minute things we hadn't had time to get for you before. On the way home we decided to stop at the Distillery for food (because lord knows I wasn't going to cook) and since it was Cinco De Mayo...I ordered a margarita. I originally said I wanted to wait for post-baby drink until after you were home with us to celebrate, but the week was so long and emotionally draining that it almost felt necessary. I drank half of it and felt tipsy (lightweight status) before we went home to bed.<br />
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Saturday morning I was filled with hope. I wanted you home and I was determined to make it happen. I had been giving you pep talks all week and filling your head with the warmest thoughts I could to get you going. I patiently waited for the nurse practitioner to come around and tell me what she thought. On Friday they told us the stipulations for your release were that you needed to gain weight (you had dropped to 4lb 14oz throughout the week), your bilirubin needed to level out (you never reached levels for light therapy), you needed to pass a 90 minute car seat test, and you needed to maintain your body temperature on your own for 24-48 hours after being taken out of the incubator.<br />
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The NP came around and didn't seem over eager to let you go and said she would feel better if you went on Sunday but allowed us to do the car seat test anyways since you had passed weight check and bilirubin check. She told me that she wouldn't count your temperature against you after the car seat test since you will have spent 90 minutes unbundled.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Homeward Bound!</td></tr>
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You rocked your car seat test like a champ (you had to keep your heart rate and oxygen levels in a certain range for the entire 90 minutes to prove you were strong enough), and we decided to take your temperature anyways after just to see. It was perfect! The nurses were all chanting to let you go (I'm serious) to the Nurse Practitioner. We had grown very close to many of the staff members throughout the week, I cannot tell you what a difference they made for us. The NP had been the one to admit you the morning you were born and she said she loved that she also got to be the one to send you home. She said she didn't have a good reason to keep you since you did everything they asked of you.<br />
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You were coming home. One week after you entered the world you were finally coming home.<br />
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I sat with you in the back seat while your dad drove us home that afternoon, and you gripped my finger the whole way. It was the beginning of the rest of your life with us.<br />
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There aren't too many words I could put together to actually describe how loved you are and how much your dad and I have enjoyed having you with us. You were so worth the wait, and the months of growing you, and for every hard second there have been 10 amazing ones. All I can say kiddo, is the best is yet to come.<br />
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Love, Mom<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-89313207670327748622017-06-20T14:35:00.000-04:002017-06-20T14:35:08.240-04:00The Third Trimester Roller CoasterConsidering I now have an adorable 7 week old daughter *SPOILER* , I should probably finish this post about my third trimester. It was certainly a roller coaster of a few weeks, and ended a few weeks early- but a time I still feel compelled to write about because well....it happened.<br />
<br />
I felt my third trimester kick off before it even officially started. The start of my 27th week (technically last week of second trimester) the fatigue ramped up, and morning sickness came back. I had been feeling pretty good and had a relatively smooth pregnancy (<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/12/1st-trimester.html" target="_blank">First Tri</a>, <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2017/03/second-trimester.html" target="_blank">Second Tri</a>) so far so I kind of expected a little karma on that one.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGuIdtslXpW3kTjDJPWgPM5o7fm_9kD5RNLP2WCKhV_1KyVUaTit47Rkw34CCAJLU4i71l-XCuSojnf5AqZoKM1woNw1_abW0-9RSJI0Z2ek1WKG178TxTe1NT6JNf5PG4Y3gl78nkr84/s1600/17361504_10100854621748126_8047934743474346280_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGuIdtslXpW3kTjDJPWgPM5o7fm_9kD5RNLP2WCKhV_1KyVUaTit47Rkw34CCAJLU4i71l-XCuSojnf5AqZoKM1woNw1_abW0-9RSJI0Z2ek1WKG178TxTe1NT6JNf5PG4Y3gl78nkr84/s320/17361504_10100854621748126_8047934743474346280_n.jpg" width="240" /></a>But the symptoms weren't really the roller coaster part during my third trimester. The fatigue, nightmares and general "meh" feeling were consistent and I had pretty much accepted them. The roller coaster was everything else going on.<br />
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Early on in the trimester we had some of the fun stuff! I went to a baby shower for a good friend of mine and then the following weekend was my baby shower with my side of the family. My mom and sister went over the top to make the day incredible for us. It was fun, and overwhelming all at the same time. Being the center of attention, and everyone quite literally spoiling our baby before she is even born. Our little girl is already stocked up on <a href="http://amzn.to/2rxRxqi" target="_blank">Saucony stuff</a>, <a href="http://amzn.to/2sMrNe6" target="_blank">Bills gear</a>, <a href="http://amzn.to/2rxIh5C" target="_blank">Hockey swag</a>, <a href="http://amzn.to/2tHi1WZ" target="_blank">cute headbands</a> and lots of other fun things.<br />
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The weekend after that is when the roller coaster really started for us though. The day after I hit 30 weeks I woke up to one of our dogs sitting by the bed barking. Moose doesn't normally do this, so I knew something was up. As soon as I stood up I realized I wasn't feeling good and that it was me having the issue. I had what felt like intense bloating/gas pain in my stomach. I went to the bathroom, no help. Took a hot shower, no help. It was getting worse and Brian was already at work so I called the doctor. I was driving myself to the hospital before I knew it, and making the call to have him meet me there. {I may have gotten yelled at for that...woops #independentwoman}<br />
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I figured out where to go (we hadn't taken the hospital tour or orientation yet), and they had me hooked up shortly after getting there. The only thing the nurse would tell me was that the baby was okay (because I kept asking... <i>repeatedly</i>) even as the pain was getting more intense. As soon as Brian got there- the doctor laid it all out there.<br />
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You're having regular labor contractions.<br />
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You're dilated.<br />
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The baby is Breech (Here: sign this C-section consent form right NOW).<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>"It's too soon, it's too soon" </b>Were the only words I could really get out.<br />
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I spent the rest of the day in a labor room with Brian, with doctors and nurses were coming in regularly. My dad and sister also came up to visit and hang out- which was a good distraction. The NICU staff came and explained the implications of a 30 week baby, and checked to see how things were progressing (or not). I was being pumped full of Magnesium, and fluids (I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything at all in case they had to take me to surgery). I was getting shots in my rear a few times (Steroids for the babies lungs, and pain killers for me) which was SUPER fun. I was also being given a blood pressure medication every few hours to prevent smooth muscle contractions (my blood pressure was fine). This is how they were attempting to stop labor, even though they warned us it's rarely that effective.<br />
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We also were sent for an ultrasound to confirm the baby was growing well (she was 3.5 pounds at the time). We then found out that my <a href="http://www.obfocus.com/high-risk/Short%20cervix.htm" target="_blank">cervix had shortened</a> drastically since my last full ultrasound at 20 weeks. This pregnancy went from uncomplicated to high risk in the matter of hours, as I laid there trying my hardest not to freak out {believe me when I say I was, in fact freaking out}.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hospital Stay at 30 Weeks</td></tr>
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Lucky for us, the rarely effective way of stopping labor....actually worked. By 9 PM my contractions had diminished and I was being moved off the labor floor and into a high risk OB room. I had to stay in the hospital the rest of the weekend, for more steroids shots and a few more doses of the blood pressure medication to make sure labor stayed at bay.<br />
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I was sent home with little restrictions and told that she could still go full term but to be prepared if she comes early. Also, do whatever voodoo and pray to whatever you believe in for baby girl to flip if I really don't want to have a Cesarean.<br />
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The following few weeks were pretty low key. We really made a point to tie up some loose ends to be ready for her arrival, I had a baby shower with the girls from my part time job, and Brian and I worked on the Nursery. Otherwise, we went on with our lives as usual. Well, as usual as they can be when you're expecting.<br />
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On Easter weekend someone made a comment that she looked like she had dropped and I started paying a bit more attention. Sure enough, baby girl was lower, I could breathe better but also was peeing much more frequently. I stayed home for Marathon Monday and watched coverage while thinking how glad I was not to be running, but at the same time being inspired for when I do get back into things. <b>I think it inspired our little girl too, maybe a little TOO much.</b><br />
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The following day I was feeling some constant period-like cramping and lower back pain. It wasn't like before so I didn't think much about it but called the doctor to be safe. They told me to call if it persisted. Wednesday morning I called back and they agreed I should come in considering I was still deemed "high risk". I wasn't any more dilated at that point but I was having contractions, so off to triage I went.<br />
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This time I was more prepared and had my hospital bag with me, knew where I was going, and generally felt better about things. I was one day shy of 34 weeks and knew that those extra 4 weeks were HUGE for her development so if this was it...this was it. I wasn't stressing, and meandered my way to where I needed to go. I lost my chapstick somewhere so I even stopped at the hospital gift shop to get more before going upstairs (Chapstick is a LIFESAVER when you cannot eat or drink for hours and hours...lesson learned during the first hospital stay when my sister saved the day by bringing me some).<br />
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In the 10 minutes it took me to drive from the doctor over to the hospital and get up to the floor, I had dilated 2 more centimeters, baby was still breech and Brian was being called to get on his way. I was oddly feeling relatively good even though labor was progressing. We spent the day and night in labor room (again) and the doctor had said if I dilated anymore that they were just going to take me back for surgery. We had a meeting with the NICU staff and were told the extra 4 weeks we got were good, but that she would still be admitted to the NICU if she came before 35 weeks. I was given steroids for her lungs again but this time I was not given the medication to stop labor- they were letting things take their course. My mom (who lives out of state for work at the moment) ended up getting on a flight because we were all pretty certain this was it.<br />
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Until it wasn't.<br />
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It was oddly frustrating and relieving at the same time when things stalled out. Here I was again looking at a three day hospital stay with no baby (both times I was only "in labor" for a day but they keep you another 48 hours for medications and observation). But, the longer the stayed in the better she would be once she was born. Alas, I was sent home a few days later with no baby in hand and still little restrictions.<br />
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When I was discharged and we were told again that she really could still go full term. They also reminded us that making it until at least Thursday was important (35 weeks). In our minds, our goal was to make it to at least the following Monday. The upcoming weekend involved Heather, and lots of Brian's family members coming into town for my final baby shower, we agreed we obviously wanted to make it through all of that first.<br />
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You know what they say about the best laid plans....<br />
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I'll continue that story in another post, which is just as adventure filled but far more exciting. My third trimester challenged me in a lot of ways, I won't say that it didn't take it's toll on me. Anxiety and antepartum depression became very real(perhaps something worth writing about on it's own?). Those two hospital stays were mentally and physically exhausting (for both of us, I mean...sleeping on an uncomfortable chair next to my bed earns Brian some serious points). <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/06/love-mom.html" target="_blank">Last year</a> when we were at the hospital we left without a baby in a far different situation but it was still very real and raw for us. So additional time there, lots of unknowns, and walking out without a baby again (yes, she was in my belly...but still) was harder than we imagined. As hard as this seven week stretch was for us, we got through it and were reminded how incredible our family and friends are. I cannot even list the amount of messages, meals, housecleaning, errands, visits, and everything else that we received- I'm still waist deep in thank you cards that I need to finish. <b>It takes a village.</b><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-88260005810214369262017-04-13T15:30:00.000-04:002017-04-13T15:37:12.971-04:00TBT: My Game-Changing Marathons Even though I am currently not training, or even running at all- it doesn't mean I don't think about it or even take the time to reflect on where I have been with my running. Between 2011 and 2016 I ran 14 marathons, 10 of which were personal bests and 6 of the 14 are races I consider big turning points in my running "career". It feels a little odd to call it a career because it's far from my job- but at the same time we all know training for marathons is essentially adding another job time wise.<br />
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I decided to look back at the 6 races (and the training cycles that led up to them) that I consider to be pivotal to my "personal success" as a runner and athlete. 5 of the 6 listed were PR's at the time, but no my <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/09/erie-marathon-2015-sub-3.html" target="_blank">current PR and 2:58 marathon I ran at Erie</a> isn't on the list. While it was a breakthrough for me in many ways, it was mostly because of the things I learned and took away from these other races. I found a lot of my turning points came from breakdowns whether in training or the race itself.<br />
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<h3>
Marathon #2: Rochester Marathon 2011 {3:41}</h3>
Rochester was the slap in the face that I needed. We've all heard people say you need to respect the distance and what it takes to get to the start AND finish line of a marathon. I know that going into this race I 100% didn't respect it. My first marathon was 6 months earlier and I finished in a strong and respectable 3:46 off very minimal and basic training. After spending the summer doing many runs with friends who have run Boston many times- I felt like I just HAD to qualify. I felt like a BQ was the only way to define a successful runner (my friends never told me that EVER, but being around them made me want it THAT bad). I dove in maybe 2 months before the race and "trained"- my miles were all over the place, I didn't practice fueling, and I didn't set realistic goals. When race day came, I made more mistakes. I went out way too fast being cocky and arrogant and by some grace of God managed not to completely crash and burn until after mile 17. The last 6+ miles were a death march, only made worse by the fact that I didn't fuel (at all), I was under-trained, over-confident and had no right to PR let alone BQ.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Mile 20 something death march</td></tr>
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I did managed to PR by 5 minutes, but missed a BQ by a minute (it was the last time the BQ was 3:40 for open women) while being 11 minutes off of my unrealistic goal time. Looking back I am so glad I didn't BQ, otherwise I don't think I would have gotten the lessons that I needed to really drilled in my brain. Setting a PR and coming close to a BQ was the spark I needed to change. If I wanted more I needed to earn it. I started pacing myself, actually fueling, training more consistently (though still not great), and set a goal to run my third marathon without wanting to jump in front of a bus in the later miles. Less than 10 weeks later I ran a 3:37 (still missing BQ since it had changed to 3:35) but finished feeling confident, smiling, and proud of a solid race performance.<br />
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To this day, after all of the races (any distance) I have run- Rochester is the race that humbled me and taught me the most. I will forever be grateful for the ugly crying that happened in the later miles, and that not only did I not meet my goal time but I also didn't qualify for a race that I had no business being in yet anyways.<br />
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<h3>
Marathon #4: Marshall University Marathon 2012 {3:21}</h3>
This marathon was run 7 months after a car accident in which I broke my cuboid bone (foot). Doctors originally told me that it would be 6 months before I could even try to run but instead I did everything they told me to and bounced back stronger than ever. I was running in far less time, and under the guidance of PT's who made sure I didn't overdo it. For the first time, I made a training plan and actually stuck to it unlike the first 3 marathons I ran. The training and consistency was huge, and paid off even bigger at the race. I took the pacing lessons I learned (the hard way) in my first few marathons and used my new found skills to my advantage. I ran a 7 minute negative split from the first half to the second, focusing on my realistic goal which I then blew out of the water by minutes. For the first time ever I trained smart, raced smart, fueled smart, and reaped the rewards with a 16 minute PR and BQ.<br />
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Mentally this marathon was another eye opener though. I had been limiting myself thinking I needed to JUST BQ. I needed to reach a time set for me by an organization instead of allowing myself to determine my own goals. I had been using the BQ as a limit. I never thought of running faster than a BQ (at least not by that much) and this was the breakthrough and turning point I needed to start realizing that I had to stop letting others dictate my limits.<br />
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<h3>
Marathon #7: <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2013/12/cim-recap-it-was-all-about-trusting.html" target="_blank">California International Marathon</a> 2013 {3:13}</h3>
This race was a turning point in running, and life for me. Running wise, I took a risk and decided to do this race 9 weeks after a 4 minute PR at Wineglass marathon. I was shooting for a 3:15 and was stubborn and felt I needed to try one more time before the year was out. The 3:15 was to try and qualify for a team, but what I didn't realize was that this race would be a whole lot more than just trying to hit a time.<br />
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The best adventures usually stem from my best friend Heather and I's crazy ideas. In this case, it was less than a week after Wineglass where we both said we wanted to run another marathon. We booked flights, hotels, registered for the race- and dove back into training as best we could. Because, why not? In the end I met my goal of breaking 3:15, ran a strong race trusting myself and ignoring people who said a million and one contradictory things about running so soon again, my pace plan, or my life in general.<br />
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The team I was trying to make lowered the time right after that so I no longer qualified, but I didn't care. I got so much more out of this race than just a time to meet someone elses' standards (see turning point at marathon #4...stop living by others standards or goals and limits). I had built so much trust in my abilities and my own instincts and this was the eye opener. This was a game changer for my running but also my life- a few months later I used that trust and personal instincts to start over in life in a lot of ways- one of the hardest but best things I have ever done and led me to where I am today.<br />
<h3>
<br />Marathon #9: <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2014/09/rochester-marathon-recap-part-i.html" target="_blank">Rochester Marathon</a> 2014 {3:11}</h3>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Training ALL summer on my hometown course</td></tr>
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Returning to this marathon wasn't something I was sure I would ever do even being my hometown race. After the 2011 race, I learned so much but was also scarred from a running aspect of not wanting to repeat that course. Earlier in 2014 I made some big life changes (see previous marathon lessons) that left me with a lot of other scars, on top of years of other ones. Fear held me back in some ways and pushed me in others. I spent the entire summer training for this race, and to face the fear of going back to the death march of 2011. I ran myself into the ground the first half of the summer trying to prove something to myself, to take back something (control) that I felt I had lost. <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/07/a-summer-of-stupidity-work-in-progress.html" target="_blank">I was happy but on a dangerous path with my running.</a><br />
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Eventually things started to get bad and instead of fleeing in fear <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2014/11/why-i-hired-running-coach.html" target="_blank">I reached out and got a coach for help</a>. Eventually I started actually dating again. Eventually I started doing things with purpose instead of doing things just because I could. I realized that taking my life and running back, meant getting some help and that is not a bad thing. When race day came, I ran a small PR and finished feeling frustrated but knew that I was on the right path. I was taking control of my life in a smarter way, asking for help when needed, and accepted that some things just take time. Getting my life and running to a place I wanted them to be at wouldn't happen overnight. Patience.<br />
<h3>
Marathon #11 <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/04/boston-marathon-2015.html" target="_blank">Boston Marathon</a> 2015 {3:04}</h3>
I refer to this marathon for me as<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/1tpv6MKXOB/?taken-by=losingrace" target="_blank"> "setting fire to the rain"</a>. It was about taking all the bad, the negative, and the flukes and throwing all that shit out the window...or setting it on fire in the middle of a rainy windy day in Boston. Four months prior <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2014/12/st-jude-memphis-marathon-recap-2014.html" target="_blank">I ran a 7 minute PR for a 3:04:30</a>, and I was ECSTATIC. It was the breakthrough I was looking for in the fall and had been working towards. The patience after the tough summer, and rocky race at Rochester paid off and I finally felt like I was racing more to my potential. I also received some negativity following that race though which soured my emotions a bit. A lot of disbelief in my time, as in it being a fluke or just a good day...<a href="https://www.saltyrunning.com/5-ways-asshole-runner/" target="_blank">even a "friend" telling me I got lucky</a>! Unfortunately I let those negative thoughts affect me and wondered myself if Memphis was a fluke. It made me wonder if my other goals (sub-3 mainly) were unreasonable or further off than I thought they were.<br />
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I trained my ass off that winter, in all sorts of crap Upstate NY weather- and many treadmill miles too. I was building upon the great foundation I had been building for years now and it was paying off. When Boston came, it wasn't perfect but I made the absolute best I could of it. My grandma was literally on the last few days of her life (ended up passing 2 days after the race), the weather was far less than ideal, and I was feeling pretty frustrated in my personal life with friendships and relationships. But you know what, I didn't let any of that noise in and ran a negative split into the wind and rain and proved to myself and others that Memphis was not a fluke. It was a small PR that day in Boston (27 seconds) but on a much harder course and in much worse conditions. Before the race I had made my goal known that I wanted to break 3, not necessarily at Boston but soon and this race proved to me that it wasn't as far off and that letting what others say needs to stop affecting me as much. I mean I know we all try and work on that but even as adults it's hard not to let the noise in.<br />
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It also was a great catalyst to get me to stop focusing so much on weather for races. I've ran some of my best races in the worst weather, and reality is that we all have the same weather and have to deal with it in our own ways. You can complain constantly about all your bad weather races, or just suck it up and work on getting better at handling it or adapting to it. Would it be nice to have ideal weather days when we want or need them? DUH. But its' not a personal vendetta from mother nature, don't make yourself a victim of something as trivial as weather for a race (you know, when at the same time that horrible weather could be destroying peoples homes or lives). *Steps off soapbox*<br />
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Moving on...last but not least...<br />
<h3>
Marathon #14: <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/04/boston-marathon-2016.html" target="_blank">Boston Marathon</a> 2016 {3:16}</h3>
This is a different turning point than the others, in the sense that it has less to do with running and more to do with life. A year ago today we found out we were going to be starting a family. I was without a doubt in the best shape of my life, wrapping up one of the strongest training cycles, and prepared to go big mentally and physically on the Boston course in a few days. The race was nothing I originally planned, but was an eye opener in many ways. I left my pace band in my luggage on purpose, I started steady and a little slower than planned and went in with 100% knowledge that I may pull the plug. I hit the half at sub-3 pace and shut it down. My head and heart were not there, my body was telling me it didn't want to run fast....so I didn't and I was A-ok with that. I ran and walked the second half. I took many bathroom stops. I soaked in the sights and sounds, and I crested heartbreak without even realizing it and finished completely ready for the next step in life and not worrying about finishing 20 minutes slower than planned.<br />
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I didn't run for almost a month after that. I focused on everything else, the things that I hadn't during training and the new things I was dealing with being pregnant. A few more weeks after that <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/06/love-mom.html" target="_blank">we found out our story wasn't going to have the happy ending</a>. After wading through all of that I decided to train for another marathon, one that would be my last for a while so we could focus on building a family in 2017. But as the summer went on, my head and heart still weren't in running. They hadn't been since before Boston and before we found out we were pregnant.<br />
<br />
So when we got pregnant again, it all made a lot more sense. That April when I chose my health and my baby over some meaningless time goal in Boston, my head and heart never switched back. So here I am, 33 weeks pregnant today and happy as can be. I'll be watching Boston coverage for the first time in 3 years from my couch, while probably eating ice cream from a bowl that can currently sit on my stomach without falling (unless little loo decides to kick it off...which is a good possibility. I may have spilled an entire cup of water that way already).<br />
<br />
Boston 2016 may not have been the epic running race I planned or thought it would be, and since day one I have been okay with that. I chose my family over running that day and something I will never hesitate to do. One day I'll get back to running/racing and I'll get back to Boston(because I love that race and city and not because I feel I have something to prove)- but right now I'm going to enjoy this turning point in my running and my personal life as one of the most important(to me) yet.<br />
<h3>
<br />It all boils down to...</h3>
I've learned so much over the years from ALL of my races, and I'm grateful for where I have been and what I have been able to do. <b>It's also taught me that coming back to it will be so worth it, but doesn't mean the time away isn't worth it either</b>. Each of these turning points and breakthroughs built upon the last, and doesn't even include the things I learned and took away from the other marathons and races I have done. I love that I am a student of the sport, always learning and trying to get better. I love that I can use those lessons in running AND life. It's a good reminder that even the bad times (literal and figurative!) can have silver linings.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-52670423506910071472017-03-21T15:37:00.001-04:002017-03-21T15:37:35.564-04:00Second Trimester<br />
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<br />
I'm really not sure where time has gone and how I'm already posting about my second trimester- but somehow here we are. There are many things about second trimester that were great, and some not as much- but I expected that to be the case. Overall we are just getting more and more excited to meet our little one! We found out IT'S A GIRL in January which was a great way to start out the new year. All we want is a healthy baby regardless of gender but I had a feeling all along it was a girl so it was cool to have my instincts me right! :) We did our baby registries, we nailed down colors/theme for the nursery and we started planning out some of the bigger things as well (pediatrician, hospital stuff, starting to look into child care options). Not that this will shock anyone who knows me, but I have a pretty in depth spreadsheet working for this kiddo! To-do lists, lists of things we need, name ideas, hospital packing list, reviews, Shower lists, everything! #Nerd<br />
<a href="https://ks3b68eotm-flywheel.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/PhotoGrid_1484065203077-300x300.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="photogrid_1484065203077" border="0" src="https://ks3b68eotm-flywheel.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/PhotoGrid_1484065203077-300x300.png" /></a><br />
We did have three things this time period that heightened my anxiety a bit and/or required some further info/testing but we managed to pretty much come out on top and relatively unscathed.<br />
<br />
In my<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/12/1st-trimester.html" target="_blank"> first trimester</a>, I saw the doctor VERY frequently. Not only did this make time go by quicker, it helped keep me feeling at ease. During the second trimester, you see the doctor about every 4 weeks. I mean, some people may think that seeing the doctor less would be nice break- but for me it left 4 weeks between appointments for me to worry. The good part of this was, as I got further into the trimester I could feel our little girl moving around and kicking me a ton. Her kicks and flutters are wonderful reminders that she is doing okay. But, about 2.5-3 weeks after each doctors appointment my anxiety would spike. I felt like it had been too long, and that a whole week and a half more of waiting would be the end of me. Obviously I lived, and our little girl is doing just fine- but man that parental worry kicks in hardcore!<br />
<br />
Changing doctors/practices/insurance at 5 months is not ideal by any means. This stressed me out, made me emotional (my doctor has been with me for 12 years, and through a lot of ups and downs), and definitely added a whole new element to pregnancy hormones for me. In the end the change in insurance was the best financial move for our family even if it meant changing docs. Just because it's the right move doesn't mean it was easy. I thought I was critical while reading reviews of car seats- trying to find a new doctor was 10X harder.<br />
<br />
The only other real hiccup during this time was my Gestational Diabetes (GD) testing. I failed the first test by so much, that by my research I found that most doctors wouldn't even bother making me do the 3 hour test and instead just diagnose me. My doctor got a second opinion from someone else in the practice and they decided to send me for the test anyways, just in case. The 3 hour test was probably one of the worst feeling days I had in a long time. It requires fasting 12 hours, drinking the glucose drink again and then getting blood drawn 4 times over 3 hours. By the time I was done, I was nauseous, tired, and simply drained (with a very bruised arm). Brian drove me to and from the test which was my savior. It turns out they were right to make me do it- as I passed with flying colors and they concluded that my 1 hour test must have been a fluke. It all worked out for the best, but I admit I was a bundle of nerves for a while there.<br />
<h4>
Running</h4>
<div>
Well, this was really a roller coaster. First trimester I made the choice to stop for the most part with occasionally throwing in a workout. Second trimester I went through waves of motivation to be active, and times where it was furthest from my mind. Best advice I got was to take it each day at a time. I tried to follow a VERY loose plan for a few weeks but it just didn't work out. I tried small attainable goals and that was fine- but nothing that kept me super motivated. During this time I realized how <a href="https://www.saltyrunning.com/pregnancy-running-identity-and-purpose/" target="_blank">much my love of running is tied to competition</a> and pushing myself. This is something I am working on, as I fully plan on embracing <br />
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casual running mentality postpartum. I plan on getting back to racing eventually but it isn't my first priority.</div>
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<br /></div>
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In my <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2017/02/random-mid-february-update.html" target="_blank">Mid-February update</a> I was at a point where motivation was higher, and I was even considering a "race". The roller coaster took a pretty big dive after that, and the 5 mile race also didn't happen. Neither of these things bother me, worry me, or even make me feel like less of a runner. I'm rolling with how I feel each day and not allowing anything to get in my way of a healthy pregnancy. I ran a handful of times this trimester and I'm proud of that. It wasn't much, and it was rarely more than once a week and honestly I am okay with that. Walking, occasional yoga, and nesting have been much more common. I'm also making good use of my <a href="http://amzn.to/2mDG8mo" target="_blank">Fire Stick</a> for TV & Movie marathons(hey, at least I'm honest).</div>
<h4>
Symptoms</h4>
<i>Dry itchy skin-</i> seriously, thank god for <a href="http://amzn.to/2nvxhHA" target="_blank">Belly butter</a><br />
<i>Acid reflux-</i> this was easy to manage by simply cutting out trigger foods<br />
<i>Acne-</i> Not a huge deal since I've lived with this for most of my life. But I did swap out my regular body wash with an <a href="http://amzn.to/2maTXwv" target="_blank">acne one</a>, and I have been doing <a href="http://amzn.to/2mABkgR" target="_blank">face masks</a> more regularly, both of which seem to help.<br />
<i>Shortness of breath-</i> Mainly if I eat too much at once, or the times when little lady likes to hang out up under my ribcage and put pressure on my diaphragm.<br />
<i>Round Ligament Pain-</i> Body is expanding, naturally things get sore.<br />
<i>Sinus infection-</i> This was tough, and forced me on antibiotics for 10 days. Being sick + pregnancy is a whole new world...<br />
<i>Adductor/Groin Pain-</i> I will talk about this one more in another post as it more directly relates to my running (or lack there of)<br />
<h4>
Cravings</h4>
Chicken wings, Veggies & ALL the hummus, berries, rice, chips/salsa/queso. Sweets becoming a bit more common but not over the top (yet).<br />
<h4>
Notes/Thoughts</h4>
<br />
<ul>
<li>If you are a pregnant woman with no current health problems and are not in labor- expect to wait 30-75 minutes every time you are at the doctor. Bring snacks, entertainment and charging cords as needed.</li>
<li>It is equally amazing and creepy being able to feel your baby moving around/kicking inside your belly.</li>
<li>If you go to the gym in January/February as a pregnant but not overly pregnant woman- you WILL get looks as though you simply indulged. Finally around mid February did I get a comment from someone telling me "OHHHHH you're pregnant" at the gym as I waddled on the treadmill.</li>
<li>My list of foods is growing that I cannot wait to eat after little lady is born. The order of priority is ever changing though. Basically someone bring me a Philadelphia Sushi roll and a Dibellas sub to the hospital and I will forever be grateful.</li>
<li>Fun fact- you CAN actually bruise from your little one kicking the same spot repeatedly. Just ask the spot right below my rib cage.</li>
<li>I gained 20 pounds total during 1st/2nd trimesters (it's a number, who cares?). My doctors have felt this is good, and we expect I'll gain around 30-35 total. It's mostly all in my belly, my chest and my face/neck.</li>
<li>Making a baby registry is fun, but exhausting. We spent a few hours in the Babies R Us store doing it and crashed the rest of the evening afterwards. The Amazon one was much more low key as we sat in sweats on the couch making it and eating ice cream. Then again, <a href="http://amzn.to/2mDxeoU" target="_blank">when isn't Amazon easier</a> because of that?</li>
<li>We haven't picked a name yet but we are narrowing it down. For now she is lovingly referred to as baby, nugget, little lady, little loo, kid, and "the thing that makes me go to the bathroom ALL the time".</li>
<li>I still think an at <a href="http://amzn.to/2nhVAZ8" target="_blank">home fetal monitor</a> was the best investment for us...for when the anxiety kicks in it's a beautiful thing to be able to listen to our little girl. We use it far less now than before, since we can feel/see her kicking but its still a nice thing to have.</li>
<li>Maternity Clothes- my best finds have been at Old Navy online. Also, leggings are a godsend. I've never been the person to wear leggings every day,(in fact I think it's weird when grown women cannot wear a pair of regular pants)...but for now I'm embracing the legging life just about daily.</li>
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<br />
Overall second trimester was pretty good to us! We're excited and working on our to-do lists with a little more fury now that were in the third and on the home stretch. Time for the baby showers, more frequent doctors appointments, and eagerly awaiting the arrival of our baby girl.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-77521105342389364202017-02-23T14:30:00.000-05:002017-02-23T14:30:18.963-05:00Random Mid-February UpdatePhew, been a while since I updated this thing. Life lately can pretty much be summed up by working, and pregnancy. I mean the pregnant thing is 24/7 and definitely has a huge impact on life, in many good ways (and some not-so-fun ways...but will all be worth it!). This "winter" has been so strange with weather which I think has contributed to 2017 feeling like it's been flying by even faster. We haven't had any long super cold snowy stretches which would tend to make the weeks drag, that's for sure. A few random updates on how things have been going, and soon I'll have a second trimester post coming. CRAZY.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Running</h3>
Since this has been the primary focus for this blog since the start, I'll update that first. Honestly, there hasn't been a TON of fitness going on- but I have seen a boost in my motivation the last few weeks which has definitely helped. I saw a boost in energy when I started my second trimester, but never really saw the effects until a few weeks ago. I'm tired more easily these days, but I have found myself more likely to find something to do that is at least a little productive rather than just binge watching netflix or prime TV every afternoon and weekend.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5-B3nrNhI1HOVG0qq2CUa-9lU6bO1RD1mho9RYb_Oq6ZJb7Ph0FGOEK7QAq0CiZfcjCrRr_ruPmp04J6Tegcs3NlJtcWsqcc9Z2OJkA2P9FPGh1M9aDtXeLV7r1LIYT55PpBn2Jq1C68/s1600/IMG_20170222_180046_752+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5-B3nrNhI1HOVG0qq2CUa-9lU6bO1RD1mho9RYb_Oq6ZJb7Ph0FGOEK7QAq0CiZfcjCrRr_ruPmp04J6Tegcs3NlJtcWsqcc9Z2OJkA2P9FPGh1M9aDtXeLV7r1LIYT55PpBn2Jq1C68/s320/IMG_20170222_180046_752+%25281%2529.jpg" width="256" /></a>I have been posting my training logs over on <a href="https://www.saltyrunning.com/tag/barley-training-logs/" target="_blank">Salty Running</a>, but also copying links to those logs on my blog here under the training logs tab. I've been averaging 1 run a week (whooopiedoo right?), but I've also squeezed in some walking, yoga and strength workouts as well. I see this increasing a bit for the next few weeks with nicer weather and way more motivation flowing right now. I also am considering running a 5 mile race in a few weeks- obviously not as a race. But as a good way to get out, see running friends, and reconnect with the community that I feel a bit more distanced from lately. Plus, who doesn't wanna see a wobbly belly dressed in green? I might end up looking like one of the green ghost blobs in Ghostbusters but it would make for a good story.<br />
<br />
A few things I have found that have helped me are <a href="http://amzn.to/2lA6Tso" target="_blank">wearing a support belt</a> when I run/walk, and staying close to home (or on the treadmill) so I have easier access to a bathroom for pee breaks (hey, it's part of the process). I also invested in some <a href="https://www.saltyrunning.com/pregnant-runner-wear-and-gear/" target="_blank">maternity gear</a>, which is mainly some of my favorite <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click?id=NF5U7LSweTI&offerid=300477.445&type=3&subid=0" target="_blank">Saucony </a>pieces just in a size or two bigger. The <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/link?id=NF5U7LSweTI&offerid=300477.35841161506&type=2&murl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.saucony.com%2Fen%2Fpinnacle-short%2F635841161506.html%3FCID%3Dcse_linkshare_Pinnacle%2520Short" target="_blank">Pinnacle shorts</a> are great because of the wider waistband that doesn't dig into my belly as much, and I love <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/link?id=NF5U7LSweTI&offerid=300477.20026715381&type=2&murl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.saucony.com%2Fen%2Ffreedom-tank%2F720026715381.html%3FCID%3Dcse_linkshare_Freedom%2520Tank" target="_blank">the looser</a> <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/link?id=NF5U7LSweTI&offerid=300477.20026715077&type=2&murl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.saucony.com%2Fen%2Fdaybreak-tank%2F720026715077.html%3FCID%3Dcse_linkshare_Daybreak%2520Tank" target="_blank">tank tops too</a>.<br />
<br />
Shoe wise- in the past most of my easy miles were done in the <a href="http://goo.gl/ODmXB0" target="_blank">Kinvara's</a> but I have found the <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/link?id=NF5U7LSweTI&offerid=300477.46881897843&type=2&murl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.saucony.com%2Fen%2Fzealot-iso-2%2F646881897843.html%3FCID%3Dcse_linkshare_Zealot%2520ISO%25202" target="_blank">Zealots are a better fit for me right now</a> as they are a bit more supportive. I'm carrying extra weight and my body feels creaky most of the time so extra support feels good.<br />
<h3>
Pregnancy</h3>
<div>
As I said earlier I have a whole post about my second trimester coming soon, much like I did <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/12/1st-trimester.html" target="_blank">my first trimester</a>. But, I will still update a little here. As of today I am 26 weeks pregnant and feeling pretty good! Our little lady is very active, and loves to kick. She will kick hard if you place something cold on my belly, or if I go too long without eating. Baby kicks are the creepiest but most amazing things at the same time.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I still check up on her with the <a href="http://amzn.to/2ldBVoF" target="_blank">heart monitor I bought</a>, for peace of mind. But I do this far less these days as I can feel her moving around a lot which provides entertainment AND peace of mind. Besides the maternity support belt, and the heart monitor, <a href="http://amzn.to/2ldHljL" target="_blank">belly butter</a> has been the biggest help through the last few weeks. Growing belly + stretching skin + dry winter skin = very itchy skin.</div>
<h3>
Life</h3>
Life outside of running (most of my time...LOL) is still spent working two jobs, and getting things done around the house. We put off getting the house on the market this spring so we didn't have to rush around for baby AND selling- but doesn't mean we backed off on getting projects done. Adding a second bathroom, and updating the kitchen have been the biggest two projects going on. We've managed to do everything on a smaller budget thanks to being able to find a lot of things on sale, and also on Amazon (we got <a href="http://amzn.to/2ldDNhj" target="_blank">cabinet hardware</a> on there in bulk, and a few other things for a fraction of home improvement store prices + <a href="http://amzn.to/2ldEZBr" target="_blank">prime shipping</a> HELLOOOO). Doing the work ourselves (and with help from family and friends) also saves a lot of money too- plus we actually like projects!<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKi71qIdM8DMMca0RQlcs6cMcb4PZzvtc_cZ1vW2CulhMwg9HYYzybOzEvk59N25wAGGpSB__-w_PZPfqPccMdm34-C_k6QrkYDSYgeQ8CAaVkKeC2-BrwsoDX1h0CYdSua7n-F46U69s/s1600/IMG_20170220_160111_595.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKi71qIdM8DMMca0RQlcs6cMcb4PZzvtc_cZ1vW2CulhMwg9HYYzybOzEvk59N25wAGGpSB__-w_PZPfqPccMdm34-C_k6QrkYDSYgeQ8CAaVkKeC2-BrwsoDX1h0CYdSua7n-F46U69s/s320/IMG_20170220_160111_595.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some of my smaller projects I'm working on.<br /> Refinishing old frames, and a soon to be unicorn for little lady's room!</td></tr>
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The nursery is the next big thing, though at this point it's pretty much just painting and putting it all together since we already have most of the stuff. We got our crib way back on Black Friday which was huge, and we are using a lot of furniture we already had for the rest of it. I'm big on refinishing old furniture and re-purposing things (thanks Mom!). Needless to say <a href="http://amzn.to/2ldEZBr" target="_blank">prime deliveries</a>, trips to Lowe's, and trips to Target and craft stores have been frequent.<br />
<br />
I've also been working on streamlining some things in our life, simplifying and just trying to make things easier on us. Part because right now doing dishes is the bain of my existence, and once we have the baby- the simpler things are the better. I started by going all <a href="http://amzn.to/2lzUogd" target="_blank">Kon Mari on my closet</a> a while ago and it made a huge difference, I still intend to use this method on other areas of the house as well. I also have been on a mission finding some simple recipes, including one pot meals and being a bit more meticulous with meal planning and making sure I don't get overzealous. I have a habit of over complicating things and I am trying to get away from that.<br />
<br />
Beyond all that- really just normal life and doing what we can to prepare for everything to change in a few more months! I have been reading more in an effort to kick my feet up, unwind but still stay mentally active as well. I've <a href="http://amzn.to/2lA1npy" target="_blank">knocked off a few books</a> in the last few weeks but would love some more recommendations for new ones!<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Anyone help a girl out with some book recommendations?!</b></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-16055237919229752472016-12-30T11:00:00.000-05:002016-12-30T11:00:07.178-05:002016: The Year Running Became an Unfinished Sentence For the last few years, I manged to really wrap my running year up nicely. It was in a box, with neatly wrapped tissue paper inside around the piles of miles I ran in training. The box was wrapped in artsy paper, and finished with matching ribbon and a pretty big bow of PR's on top. My running year this year? It looks like a 3 year old tried to wrap a basketball with cardboard scraps and tin cans. You know what, it still looks pretty nifty under the tree all lit up at night though.<br />
<br />
Coming off my biggest running year ever in 2015 (<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/09/erie-marathon-2015-sub-3.html" target="_blank">Sub-3</a>, <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/barleys-philadelphia-half-marathon-recap/" target="_blank">Sub-1:25</a>, <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/11/east-ave-grocery-run-2015.html" target="_blank">Sub-19</a>, running a <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/10/chicago-marathon-2015.html" target="_blank">great friends first marathon</a> with her as part of <a href="http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click?id=NF5U7LSweTI&offerid=300477.443&type=3&subid=0" target="_blank">Saucony</a>, and a million other running accomplishments along the way), it's a little nutty to look at running this year and think much of it. Some might say I was due for the downtime, which in many cases is true but not because I'm overtrained, injured, or burned out. Simply because I've been working hard, staying healthy and focusing so much on running for a few years- I was due for a shift. Frankly it's nice for it to be on my terms (for the most part), taking a break before it becomes forced.<br />
<br />
To say it's been 100% easy to sit back and reflect on my running year though wouldn't be realistic. I'm a very numbers oriented person, and if I were to judge my 2016 running year by the numbers, it would be very tough to call it much of a success. I will not even hit 1500 miles which will by far be the lowest since 2012. I have no new marathon PR's, not even a half PR, nor a 5k. <b>BUT, I also know that all those numbers don't tell the whole story.</b><br />
<br />
The year started off pretty high. A few weeks in, I decided to hand the coaching reins over to <a href="http://mckirdytrained.com/" target="_blank">James McKirdy</a>. His business was just getting off the ground, but it felt like the right move for me. I quickly realized that I had found a coach I could rely on unlike my previous one that <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/10/8-reasons-you-might-consider-coaching.html" target="_blank">I had ditched back in the fall</a>. We came up with a good plan for training/racing my way through the winter in preparation for Boston. I had kept a good base through the fall after Erie so I was setting myself up nicely come winter and spring.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3GD1Hh7bpTHapcXKTgzCYHO8Dc6lfyVOgvXRSpUtKBlOB6GcNNFo1xzInG6gY-xO75TiQULfPlltMdmGOGF4szYAogwaBX91Ur-mSoaWraY20paB2y8dzmmIhLteZZlHBc3h6dvRkKeI/s1600/IMG-IMG_2429.jpg.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3GD1Hh7bpTHapcXKTgzCYHO8Dc6lfyVOgvXRSpUtKBlOB6GcNNFo1xzInG6gY-xO75TiQULfPlltMdmGOGF4szYAogwaBX91Ur-mSoaWraY20paB2y8dzmmIhLteZZlHBc3h6dvRkKeI/s320/IMG-IMG_2429.jpg.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Finish Line of Lake Effect Half Marathon a sub 1:27 which was run as a workout.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz5OZLwHEunZlNZ0m5iaSw4gtPkoHfbbLHtXIVV_Q09sS4wAsKwKjUUN8MiSRkyFLvOSfHSfxoB_PfLEPmkwYsiMbHBRLPPJiSaZlRgQZ56lpqQFBTvN4S7DjbPtDaWNKjQLZrYSaKuCU/s1600/DSC08534.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz5OZLwHEunZlNZ0m5iaSw4gtPkoHfbbLHtXIVV_Q09sS4wAsKwKjUUN8MiSRkyFLvOSfHSfxoB_PfLEPmkwYsiMbHBRLPPJiSaZlRgQZ56lpqQFBTvN4S7DjbPtDaWNKjQLZrYSaKuCU/s320/DSC08534.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Home stretch en route to a huge 10k PR, race win and Freezeroo series win with a 38:37 on a windy winter Saturday.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>A few stats from early in the year:</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>70.6 the highest number of miles I have run in a week before (this happened in Feb)</li>
<li><span style="text-align: center;">288.1 the highest number of miles I have run in a month before (March)</span></li>
<li><a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/03/johnnys-running-of-green-2016.html" style="text-align: center;" target="_blank">2 the number of official 5 mile PR's set (2 more unofficial I believe)</a><span style="text-align: center;"> this year</span></li>
<li><a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/03/2016-freezeroo-series-recaps.html" style="text-align: center;" target="_blank">2 the number of 10k PR's set this year</a><span style="text-align: center;"> (even with one of them being VERY long course)</span></li>
<li><a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/03/2016-freezeroo-series-recaps.html" style="text-align: center;" target="_blank">2:42 the number of time I took off my 10k PR</a><span style="text-align: center;"> (3 year old PR too)</span></li>
<li><a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/03/lake-effect-half-marathon-2016.html" style="text-align: center;" target="_blank">1:26:41 my second fastest half marathon ever</a><span style="text-align: center;">, run as a workout for fun pacing other people along the way</span></li>
<li><span style="text-align: center;">24.3 miles the longest training run I've ever done, and also done one as of the fastest ever (on hills) as last long before Boston</span></li>
</ul>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi34KaB4u_d0Xjj7kK0nH_cui8Du8lzEJ9Kf-YqKDfGXcm3DblNfKefJFIWXq7zuqHJNIwMJzAg24Qb_AhZ15u9AVBQBQld25i4Qu5Cm2uWcLyHUrRlwu-IhfZNKpCguX7OcXqsSAnC1wU/s1600/Copy+of+13705825.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi34KaB4u_d0Xjj7kK0nH_cui8Du8lzEJ9Kf-YqKDfGXcm3DblNfKefJFIWXq7zuqHJNIwMJzAg24Qb_AhZ15u9AVBQBQld25i4Qu5Cm2uWcLyHUrRlwu-IhfZNKpCguX7OcXqsSAnC1wU/s320/Copy+of+13705825.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There was THIS half marathon where every goal went out the window and mental toughness was only thing I could focus on. Though the time was as much of a shit show as the weather was. Unknowingly 3 weeks pregnant as well. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
All of those numbers took place before April 13th(the day everything changed). So, the first 3-4 months of the year by running standards were pretty wildly successful- and something I'm proud of.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>A few more numbers from the year...</u></b></div>
<ul>
<li>5 the number of weeks pregnant I was when <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/04/boston-marathon-2016.html" target="_blank">I ran a 3:16 at the Boston Marathon</a></li>
<li>30 the number of days I took off of running after Boston for recovery/adjustment to pregnancy</li>
<li>12 the number of weeks pregnant I was when <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/06/love-mom.html" target="_blank">we got heartbreaking news</a>.</li>
<li>6 the number of weeks pregnant I was when <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BLTaJERhJVp/?taken-by=losingrace" target="_blank">I ran a 1:29 and won a half marathon</a> in Hurricaneish weather.</li>
<li>30 the number of weeks I will have spent pregnant this year come Dec 31st</li>
</ul>
<div>
So as I sit here right now, with a much different shape than I started the year in (quite literally)- I have no regrets about this year. I have no sadness or anger for my running, that simply wasn't. I didn't end the year with a bang, or even an airhorn. THAT'S OKAY! For years I wondered how I would handle this transition I am now in, for years I wondered if it would be harder on me- because running is so important to me. But, I've realized that it isn't.<br />
<br />
NO that doesn't mean it's 100% easy to just flip the switch. It's not. Even if you want a kid (I did and do! <i>{rubs belly and says hi to baby}</i>), it doesn't mean all of your other goals and ambitions just disappear. I think it was a little harder for me this spring because I went from the best shape of my life to....not. But, to me this is something that is important to me more than running and something that will be a part of me much longer. So, on those days I wish I got another marathon in and see those people out there chasing PR's instead of families(or whatever)- I let myself feel a twinge of whatever emotion but then I think about all that I am gaining and move on with my day.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">I am still a runner, even if I'm choosing not to make running a priority during my pregnancy.</span></b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
I feel it's important for me to say that I do not look at pregnancy as an injury or a setback in running. In fact, I don't understand the thought process of people who feel that way especially if you're not a professional runner. Sure, the first time around this year derailed my goal marathon and then we had to deal with a loss so nothing to show for the race or the pregnancy. But I don't look at that loss as a setback in my running, I saw it as a setback in my life and what we want obviously- but I don't for one second wish it all never happened so I could have had my race even if I had known how things would have turned out. That doesn't mean running or the race didn't matter, but to me it wasn't even a competition for what mattered more.<br />
<br />
When I started to <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/07/returning-to-running.html" target="_blank">get back into running</a> it was tough, but it made me feel like I was doing something. <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/09/rotating-goals-on-shelf.html" target="_blank">I set goals, I dreamed of a fall marathon as my last hoorah and big PR attempt</a>. I dreamed of a big training cycle, and long nights of foam rolling tired muscles. I got lost in a trance when certain songs would come on that I could visualize myself flying through a finish chute as if it were a cheesy motivational YouTube video. But those dreams were not the only thing occupying my mind.<br />
<br />
Maybe we didn't get our storybook ending the first time around, but it did certainly tell me that I was ready for it and deep down I wanted that more than anything. I didn't pour myself into my training and return to running the way I normally would. I drank more beer than normal (I'm gonna file that under grief category), I didn't get OMG excited for workouts, I wasn't focusing on the little things I knew I needed to-and I didn't notice or seem to care. I wanted all the PR's and glory without doing what I knew it would take to get there- and that isn't me. That isn't how I do things.<br />
<br />
So when we found out we were pregnant again, hindsight was clear as day and I realized that what I wanted was more than any training cycle or PR could give me (right now). So when I say that pregnancy is not an injury or some setback to your training- I mean that. No I haven't dealt with the post-pregnancy body things yet, and know that the return will be tough- but I'll have something wonderful to show for that. There's nothing wrong with looking forward to running fast again and yogging without a bouncing belly <b>but </b>if you're so focused on what you're losing or NOT doing when you're pregnant you're not really seeing everything you're gaining (quite literally). Pregnancy, running pregnant, managing the shift in mindset (such as from chasing PR's to chasing gingerale and crackers), is tough I will not deny that; but I feel like if you're so negative about it during pregnancy how on earth are you going to handle it for the next 18 years or more after the kid is born?<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>{Steps off soap box}</b></div>
<br />
Anyways, all that is meant to say is that I am still happy with my year of running. 2016 had a lot of negativity surrounding it in general in the world and I refuse to add to that if I can help it especially for something like my running. I'm also aware that my running in 2017 will most likely be pretty similar to 2016, with 22ish weeks of pregnancy to go followed by life with a newborn. So at the very least my running is taking a step-back for 2 years. In the grand scheme of things, it's not that much and running will be there well after.<br />
<br />
Cheers to 2016, the year I finally broke my age old 10k PR and the year running gave me more perspective in the most unexpected of ways. A lot of things got left unfinished, but doesn't mean I cannot return to those down the road.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-81185021502727620542016-12-08T10:51:00.001-05:002016-12-08T10:51:58.732-05:001st TrimesterAs <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/12/a-few-steps-back-and-14-weeks-forward.html" target="_blank">I said in my last post</a>, this blog isn't going to turn into 100% pregnancy writing- but it will be a common theme for a while. Seeing as, I'm cooking a kiddo for a few more months and it naturally will have a big effect on my daily life, not just my running.<br />
<br />
Pregnancy has not been all sunshine and roses, even if you wanted/planned this it doesn't mean it still won't be hard. I think that is a common misconception I have seen before. A woman who gets pregnant and was trying and really wants a kid, gets shamed if she says anything other than she is just SO excited. Let me get this out there now that I don't agree with that at all. Moving on though, I wanted to wrap up my first trimester (we're 15 weeks today so already chugging along in the second). I tried to cover most bases, being open but also honest.<br />
<h3>
<br />Symptoms</h3>
Nausea, fatigue- the common stuff. While many runners compare pregnancy to marathon training (there really are a lot of parallels) I have to say that the fatigue of pregnancy (for ME) is tougher because you cannot catch up on it. If I have a few bad nights of sleep during training + all the work, I know that if I get a few solid weekend nights I'm as good as new for the most part. These days, it doesn't matter if I get 5 or 10 hours of sleep a night, by the time bedtime (or couch time) rolls around the next day I'm toast. That isn't even including the multiple times I actually almost fell asleep in my lunch at work.<br />
<br />
Besides that, some random symptoms have popped up; pregnancy induced bleeding gums (it's a thing, it's dumb and apparently nothing I can do about it), newly developed Gastric reflux (it's gross but manageable), nothing too crazy though. The vivid dreams have been CRAZY and most mornings I wake up wondering what was real and what wasn't. It's amazing to me what hormones do to your body.<br />
<br />
Should probably add in <a href="http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/memory_lapse_it_may_be_pregnancy_brain#1" target="_blank">baby brain/pregnancy brain/momnesia</a> started to kick in early. Some days I feel straight up dumb and forgetful! This makes my nerdy compulsion for spreadsheets, to-do lists, and post-it notes even more important. We've laughed at it for the most part though!<br />
<br />
<h3>
Weight Gain</h3>
The first 8 weeks I didn't gain anything. Between 8-10 weeks I gained 4 pounds though, and held that through the end of the trimester. I outgrew a lot of my normal pants pretty quick, which I expected. When a lot of your clothes were bought during marathon training a small change in waistline will be felt quicker! I don't know why people put off wearing maternity clothes though, they're pretty dang comfortable.<br />
<br />
But I also admit, the whole getting bigger and changing clothes thing hasn't affected me as much mentally as I thought it would. I'm sure that will change at some point, but for now I'm fascinated and excited about the expanding belly and am thoroughly comfortable in stretchy waist pants and ruched tops. I have an awesome sister who gave me a TON of maternity clothes so I feel like I have an entire new wardrobe which I won't complain about. I also bought a few more basics to get me started; Old Navy & Target have been awesome for those. So has this <a href="http://amzn.to/2gCIm60" target="_blank">Belly Band</a> combined with <a href="http://diymaternity.com/pants-skirts/the-rubberband-maternity-trick/" target="_blank">the rubber band trick.</a><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHz9tld6-eaYmv54akUwidmJcTpHpkDb_AJnd4F2ef8AtYL7KFOGECJCl6Hgc-a4W1m9MjHeVA8TYLQ652ZCg7QVzg9ygStDPOgc4nZF2aKfkc_n1G2u7pHkWDGjqoH-zT4oHRz8u1caM/s1600/54514.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHz9tld6-eaYmv54akUwidmJcTpHpkDb_AJnd4F2ef8AtYL7KFOGECJCl6Hgc-a4W1m9MjHeVA8TYLQ652ZCg7QVzg9ygStDPOgc4nZF2aKfkc_n1G2u7pHkWDGjqoH-zT4oHRz8u1caM/s320/54514.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I think this was 12 weeks. Most of that happened overnight!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
As for running, since my gear is obviously mostly spandex things still fit for the most part. I have found the best running clothes right now are those with wider waistbands, it's simply more comfortable. (<a href="http://goo.gl/in4YSX" target="_blank">Pinnacle Shorts</a>, <a href="http://goo.gl/B1Jajk" target="_blank">Scoot Capri</a> have been my go-to's). My go to sports bra has been the <a href="http://amzn.to/2havL7V" target="_blank">Rock-It Bra Top<span id="goog_1835880683"></span></a> because it's not a set band/cup size (they size them S,M, L instead of 34B etc.) so there is a bit more wiggle room as I uhhhh grow.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Cravings/Aversions</h3>
I went through spurts with what I wanted to eat. For a few weeks it was anything processed, and by processed I mean...processed AF. Chef Boyardee, Easy Mac, anything quick and high in calories sounded amazing to me.<br />
<br />
Then I went into the current stage which has been fruits(berries, oranges and grapefruit specifically), veggies/ranch, certain salads, and cereal. ALL THE CEREAL. I don't currently have any aversions, other than the smell of tuna. But if something doesn't sound good to me I don't want it. I normally love tacos and Mexican and had no appetite for that for a while now.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Running/Activity</h3>
In general, I didn't do much. On average once a week. Quite frankly I was fine with it. Part of it was nerves, part of it was the fatigue....and part of it was...I've been going so hard with training for 4+ years right now that the break feels so refreshing. I know activity is good, and that it will help labor- but I'm also not going to push myself. I wrote out my <a href="https://www.saltyrunning.com/barleys-1st-trimester-training-log/" target="_blank">1st Trimester training log over on Salty Running</a>.<br />
<br />
It is worth noting that I did run a half marathon about a week after we found out about the baby. We were in North Carolina visiting family (during Hurricane Matthew) and I decided to still run the Volition America Half Marathon. It was disgusting wind and rain but could have been worse. (I really won't complain about this much....people lost their homes and lives- can we stop bitching about race weather all the time? Bad weather affects far more important things than your race).<br />
<br />
Weather + being pregnant took the pressure off and I just ran by feel and raced for place and to have fun. I chatted with some other runners, met some new people and generally enjoyed most of the race- I did kind of just want to be done the last few miles though. Me and baby(6 weeks) walked away with the win and a 1:29 half marathon, It wasn't effortless by any means but I was happy with it and finished with soaking wet hugs from Brian and his Aunt/Uncle who stood out there cheering for us.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoHOb0KuCDt_9bsYnEOHxfrOwl_SLSgq2PWZBj2bS1INBJz18T6_uoDHrsc81U8zi4pyMDgahOxSh-ev4A6sjuR7TD9sQ7CLN8AwcVAP4GDXVRr7hWLgmsKr8uRb35_y9mEfedOFNiKKc/s1600/138418-006-036h.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoHOb0KuCDt_9bsYnEOHxfrOwl_SLSgq2PWZBj2bS1INBJz18T6_uoDHrsc81U8zi4pyMDgahOxSh-ev4A6sjuR7TD9sQ7CLN8AwcVAP4GDXVRr7hWLgmsKr8uRb35_y9mEfedOFNiKKc/s320/138418-006-036h.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<h3>
The Anxiety of Pregnancy After Loss</h3>
I can and will write an entire post on this all together. This is tough. It's scary. It takes away some of the excitement. It consumes you. BUT, its manageable.<br />
<br />
I am incredibly lucky to have a doctor who understood that and agreed we would keep a very close eye for baby sake, and my peace of mind. I went for ultrasounds at 5, 7 ,9 and 12 weeks with regular OB checkups at 8 and 10 weeks. Overkill, maybe? But when you have a maxed out deductible and a very anxious pregnant woman- you just do it.<br />
<br />
I also made a point to have some regular contact with my therapist. I have no issues talking about that, she is someone I have seen on and off for years and has helped me through some of the most trying times. Most of our sessions didn't even end up being the OMG emotional ones- if anything it was simply nice to have an unbiased person to talk to about everything in life and not just growing a baby.<br />
<br />
Beside professionals- I made sure to be in touch with close friends and family that understand where I'm at. It's not something you really get unless you've been through it. Brian and I also had to find our own ways to cope in the first few weeks- not everyone processes things the same. But at the end of the day we had each other, want the same thing and have the same fears and worries. We have amazing friends and family, and everyone has been so supportive and I cannot begin to express how that makes me feel.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Things We Did For Baby During 1st Trimester</h3>
<ul>
<li>I went on my first Black Friday adventure ever, and came away with an amazing crib for $99. It's still in the box and hasn't been touched since we picked it up, but at least we have it.</li>
<li>Started registries (because of timing with Holiday it was just easier to do it sooner rather than later).</li>
<li>Spreadsheet making. I'm a nerd, this will shock no one. But this has helped me wrap my head around everything we need, and where we are getting it. We're really lucky to both have sisters who are passing a lot of things down to us from their kiddos!</li>
<li>We shared the news! This took a little longer this time around, as we really wanted to make sure. It's such fun and exciting news and we loved being able to be open and talk and be excited with others about it. This kid is already so loved!</li>
<li>We checked up on baby, I bought an at home Fetal <a href="http://amzn.to/2gFlDCv" target="_blank">Heart Monitor</a>. Honestly this was a no-brainer investment and really helped keep me at ease during the first trimester. Not to mention, it has been fun to check in and listen to little one. I would recommend this for any pregnant woman!</li>
<li>I've been really good about taking my <a href="http://amzn.to/2gg4v9o" target="_blank">Prenatal Vitamins</a> every day- I know it's a simple thing but so important. I tried a few different ones before settling on these as the ones that I feel work best for me. I take it every night before bed with a small snack, it seems to settle better that way.</li>
<li>I've never been good at hydrating even during marathon training. It's so important right now though, so I've been really trying! <a href="http://amzn.to/2g2oVjj" target="_blank">Nuun All Day</a> has been an easy way to get me to drink more but also get some extra electrolytes to make up for what I may be missing. </li>
<li>I rested, and relaxed A LOT. The <a href="http://amzn.to/2fySayd" target="_blank">Fire TV Stick</a> made this way easier, and binge watched all seasons of Revenge and got through about 4 seasons of Parenthood as well. I wanted to read more but it didn't happen, I did re-read <a href="http://amzn.to/2hatUzC" target="_blank">Me Before You</a> while we traveled to Charlotte in October. I bought a bunch more <a href="http://amzn.to/2gfFRXP" target="_blank">kindle books</a> to hold me over for the winter, which will definitely get me motivated to start reading more again.</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
So that is essentially how things went for the first trimester! I feel like it flew by most of the time, and can't believe we are already 1/3 of the way there! We cannot wait to meet our little one, but know we have a lot to do in the mean time. Thank goodness my second trimester started with some fresh energy to help!<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-45890491166095156272016-12-02T10:30:00.005-05:002016-12-02T10:30:58.426-05:00A Few Steps Back and 14 Weeks Forward.This has been a year of constantly changing plans, more so than I can remember in any other year. While I've definitely changed my mind, thrown wrenches into the mix, and been subject to the uncontrollable aspects of life many times before- this time was just, different.<br />
<br />
For the first few months of the year things were pretty well laid out in running and life. Training for Boston, planning on home improvements, steady one job work schedule, nothing nutty. Before we knew it, we were preparing for a baby, throwing race plans out the window, picking up second job (kids are expensive), and planning the year around a happy December due date. <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/06/love-mom.html" target="_blank">A few months later and we were back at square one</a>, completely defeated and unsure of what the next steps should be. A few steps forward, a million steps back is about how it felt.<br />
<br />
As time went on, I <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/07/returning-to-running.html" target="_blank">started running again</a> and more importantly we started coming out of the fog and looking towards the happy future ahead. The <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/09/rotating-goals-on-shelf.html" target="_blank">goals got shuffled around, a goal marathon got added to the list</a> and we planned on next year being the year for lots of big life stuff so this fall would be the last hoorah before taking time to focus on other priorities.<br />
<br />
Funny as it all works out, a few weeks later we decided (or someone else decided for us) that our plan should be different yet again. As soon as I took those <a href="http://goo.gl/BRknWC" target="_blank">pretty sweet looking marathon shoes</a> off the shelf, I was gladly hanging them back up.<br />
<br />
When I <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/10/im-running-another-marathon-wait-no-im.html" target="_blank">posted about deciding not to run Philly</a> everything I said was 100% true. I've been going so hard with training for years on end and mentally and physically I honestly didn't realize how ready for a break I was. After everything that happened in the spring, my head never really got back into running space the way I'm used to it being. I assumed it was just still grief, and general running motivation struggle (it happens). Looking back though, it's pretty obvious where my head and heart were even if I couldn't see it then. We hadn't realized how much we wanted that step (at this time) until it was taken from us.<br />
<br />
So when we were all of a sudden facing a positive pregnancy test again, everything made so much more sense. In some ways it put me at ease, in that it explained why I was feeling the way that I was. <a href="https://www.saltyrunning.com/on-disappointment-and-trust-in-running-and-life/" target="_blank">In other ways it rocked me to my core with fear and personal trust issues.</a> For today though, we are going to focus on the positives.<br />
<br />
Here we are into the second trimester, and the excitement grows by the day. Sure there are moments we struggle and the fear creeps in, but we get through it. We've found ways to feel like we can <a href="http://amzn.to/2gFlDCv" target="_blank">keep a better eye (or ear) on whats going on</a>, and we aren't letting things hold us back from being hopeful.<br />
<br />
My days are still the same working two jobs, the evenings are a little more relaxing with some extra time in the recliner with <a href="http://amzn.to/2gCJEOa" target="_blank">Netflix and Fire TV</a>. Our spare time is getting the house ready to sell, thinking about baby things, and the usual preparations for the busy holiday season as well.<br />
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<b>So maybe this year didn't turn out the way we expected by any means. I may not have a marathon PR, or a baby due date in a few weeks. But we have a whole lot of perspective, and a few more months to prepare for a wonderful bundle of joy (and sleepless nights) come late spring.</b><br />
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<i>{<b>Note for future posts</b>- Everything will not be pregnancy related, but clearly it's going to be a big part of my life for a while. I have some planned posts about how things are going, some running related and will probably update a few times over the next 26 weeks as well. I do also plan on doing a few separate posts on pregnancy after loss and some other related things- I feel it's something that isn't talked about enough and have had some wonderful(but tough) conversations and people reach out since we shared our experience, and the current news as well}</i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-34850157940862692292016-10-24T14:22:00.001-04:002016-10-24T14:22:27.755-04:00I'm Running Another Marathon, Wait No I'm Not.<h3>
"Get your head in the game" </h3>
It's so commonly said but what we fail to realize at times is that your head can be in the game all it wants but if your heart isn't there you might as well be running without one of your shoes.<br />
<br />
When I finally started to run again this year after our loss, I was excited because frankly I NEEDED something to be excited about. I wanted to want to train hard. I wanted to want to race hard. I wanted to want that PR and breakthrough race. I wanted to want something so big and full of pride after a year that hasn't left me with much.<br />
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That's the thing though, I wanted to want it all. But deep down, I don't want it...not right now. My heart isn't there and sometimes it just takes time and some proverbial life slaps across the face to see it.<br />
<br />
So as quickly as I write about <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/09/rotating-goals-on-shelf.html" target="_blank">going big and training for a marathon again</a>. I'm here to write again about NOT training for a marathon again. It's been a few weeks since I came to this conclusion and with the exception of a few fleeting thoughts of "what if", I haven't really faltered in knowing that this was right.<br />
<br />
Because truth is, I don't believe you should run or train for a marathon unless you really want to. It's a time and energy commitment and it's a distance that demands respect. I'm also not at the point where I want to run a marathon for the sake of running one. It's by far my favorite distance but the next time I toe the line for a 26.2 it's going to be about challenging myself and pushing my personal limits- and going for a time that is faster than I have done before. Mentally and physically I am not in a place to do that right now, and I don't have the desire to put in the work to get there at this moment.<br />
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This break isn't just about the marathon though. It's about training and schedules in general. I started running road races in 2009. I'd say it got a bit more serious in 2011 when I ran my first 3 marathons. 2012 was the first time I truly started "training" for races though, and since then I have had little to no downtime.<br />
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In the last 4 years I have ran 11 Marathons, 20 Half Marathons, 1 Half Ironman, and god knows how many shorter races. I have had some form of a training plan on my calendar for almost every week with a few exceptions. Even my recovery weeks I had a loose plan of what I wanted. Plans work for me, they help me and they calm me (as stupid as that sounds).<br />
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Right now though, a plan doesn't make sense or even sound good to me. I realized I was following a plan and doing what it said, because it said so and not because I wanted to. I have always been the athlete that wants to know WHY I am doing a workout and what I am supposed to get out of it. Somewhere in the last few months I realized I was no longer going into workouts to see what I can get out of it, but simply to check it off the list and have it be done. My head was always somewhere else, and that is when I say it's time to step away for a little bit. I'm lucky <a href="http://mckirdytrained.com/" target="_blank">to have a coach</a> that is 100% understanding and knows that this time away is important for me.<br />
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Reality is, I know that this is a really GOOD thing. I know that a break will make me better, and I know that running is not 100% my life nor do I ever want it to be. I wouldn't trade the last few years for anything. I was willing and able to make much of my time and energy about running and training. I was successful by my own standards because of that. I was simply able to make it more of a priority than I am willing to these days.<br />
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Zest, over at Salty Running wrote this piece that hit home- <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/virtues-casual-running/" target="_blank">The Virtues of Casual Running</a>. My mission over the next few months is to embrace casual running. Going out and running, for the sake of running and not because of some bigger goal. There was another piece by my good friend Cilantro about <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/running-identity/" target="_blank">shifts in your running identity</a>- I'd say that really describes the crossroads I'm at right now in a lot of ways. I'll say it again, this is a GOOD thing and I really plan on embracing all of this as much as I can. I have a lot of goals for the future and in running specifically. Big, scary, lofty, holy-shit running goals; but I have a bit of time right now to step back before I need to step up for those goals and I plan on fully taking advantage of that.<br />
<br />
<h3>
So where is my time going to go?</h3>
Time with Brian. Time with our crazy little ones. Time with family. Time with friends. Time with those who matter- because life's too short.<br />
<br />
Working two jobs because I'm an overachiever who gets off on paying more than my minimum car payment and enjoys the ease of automatic deposits into my IRA.<br />
<br />
Tackling projects around the house, getting ready to sell and move next year. Working on floor plans instead of personal training plans. Finally getting around to printing photos and changing out frames like we've been talking about forever. Actually finishing some little projects (I love DIY and crafts) that I have been meaning to but never got around to doing.<br />
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Oh yeah, I'm still going to do that running thing. Just without a goal race, or pressure, and probably lacking any form of routine. Exercising for health instead of a time goal- a good basic habit. I plan on going into more detail about this another day.<br />
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I'm still going to be around running. I plan on getting some volunteering in, and definitely getting my cheer on. Heather and I decided this would be a great year to get back down to NYC to spectate for an adventure. <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2013/11/photo-proof-of-nyc-weekend-shenanagins.html" target="_blank">We went in 2013 and had a blast</a>, I can only imagine it being just as fun this year- I mean, have you seen the pro field list? I also plan on getting a bit more involved in the running community in other ways, like mentoring and even the possibility of coaching. Just because I need a little space from a personal training plan doesn't mean I don't know how to put them together and wouldn't love helping others reach their goals.<br />
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I also plan on getting into writing a bit more. Both for personal use, as well as posts here and on Salty Running. Honestly it's such a good outlet and something I truly enjoy. With that, I'll also add I have about 50 books on my kindle list that I want to get working on-perfect timing as the weather starts to turn.<br />
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<h3>
So, there's that. I was training for a marathon and now I'm not. Yes, I'm still a runner. But I think we all need a break from a training plan from time to time- no?</h3>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-13352246966965924092016-09-20T20:54:00.000-04:002016-09-20T20:54:09.454-04:00Rotating the Goals on the ShelfSometimes I feel like I have this shelf full of goals and dreams. Like a physical shelf, full of things that represent my life and what I want. I also feel like I have spent the last few years furiously picking some up off the shelf and putting others back. Sometimes, we can work on multiple at a time and other things you need to accept that it just isn't the time. This year Brian and I were forced to do a lot of rearranging of our shelf. Sometimes we move things around not to work on feng shui, but because we have no choice to but to do so. Those are the moves that take time and processing to work through, and accept the changes. Sometimes those moves leave you paralyzed with fears and emotions, and can keep you from living your life fully.<br />
<br />
It's scary but we're finally to a point where we feel more comfortable making plans (or accepting the fact that we cannot plan some things). Back in June, we had some talks and decisions to make. DO we try now? Do we wait? What do we want to see happen this fall now? What do we want to see next year?<br />
<br />
A lot of things are happening next year, big life changing things (Selling our home, Buying/Moving into a new one...for starters). Among some other big things, it just makes it really hard to plan accordingly and very far in advance for things that are way down on the totem pole in comparison (such as, running).<br />
<br />
What does that mean? Well, right now I'm not really sure what it means. I know that I won't be registering for Boston for a multitude of reasons (some are emotional, others are more logistical). I also don't know if I'll be registering for anything far in advance at all. I know I'll run in some capacity, and probably jump in local races that I can do with far less planning. I'm VERY okay with this, and who knows- as we get a better idea of what the year will look like I may find a way to work in some bigger races/plans. I may not though.<br />
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Right now this leaves me feeling like I want a <i>"last hoorah"</i> though. That sounds so dramatic, like I'll never run again which is far from the truth. Hell, I know myself well enough to know that I'll get in SOME goal for running next year I just don't know what/when. But, after <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/06/love-mom.html" target="_blank">we waded through everything this summer</a>- I realized that I wanted to take advantage of the time this fall to go out with a bang. It's scary and hard and I'm trying not to overthink it- but I've got two goals on the calendar and with some grit and a lot of help I think I can get there. Brian has been incredibly supportive as always, and we agree that this is the time to do these things.<br />
<br />
After <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/09/oak-tree-half-marathon-2016.html" target="_blank">Oak Tree</a>, I had a renewed sense of motivation and confidence. It was far from a PR for me (well, it was a course PR), but there were a lot of little things from that day which showed me....I'm not so far from where I was. So, we decided it was time to actually get some goals on the calendar.<br />
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The first is actually the later of the goals, but the bigger one. A marathon. I doubt this is shocking to anyone. But I admit I really wasn't sure if I was going to or not. I LOVE marathons, I do them for me because I enjoy the distance and I truly love the process. But I will also be the first to admit that when I do them, it is with my heart- because it really is my favorite. This is why I wasn't sure if I COULD do one this year, because honestly my heart is not totally there.<br />
<br />
Back in June, I knew that if I were to run a marathon it would need to be later in the fall. It would need to give me enough time to get in PR shape or at least close. <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/04/boston-marathon-2016.html" target="_blank">I already ran one for "fun" this year</a>, and if I was going to run another I wanted to at least feel ready to RACE. I wanted to feel ready to go for it, to push, and grit through the miles- for better or for worse.<br />
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I had three races in my head. <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2014/12/st-jude-memphis-marathon-recap-2014.html" target="_blank">Memphis</a>. <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2013/12/cim-recap-it-was-all-about-trusting.html" target="_blank">CIM</a>. <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2015/11/25/barleys-philadelphia-half-marathon-recap/" target="_blank">Philly</a>. All of which I have done in some capacity before, and were late enough to give me the time I needed. At the end of the day, Philly made the most sense. As of last week, I am officially registered. Our hotels have actually been booked for a while(always be prepared), and pretty much knew this was going to be the case. I simply needed the confidence, and the emotional readiness to commit.<br />
<br />
We are really excited, and planning a fun filled marathon weekend. As it stands I know for sure a few of my biggest supporters are going to be there- something that makes me smile just thinking about. Philly is a great city, and we really enjoyed spending some time there for the half last year (and also some non-running related things in the city). I'm giddy thinking about the race, and already visualizing different aspects of it and how I want to see things pan out. Those are the moments that make training even better, I love the process but the process becomes easier when you can clearly see the goals ahead.<br />
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That also left me feeling like I wanted a half in October for a tune-up race. I originally thought about going <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2014/10/empire-state-half-marathon-2014-recap.html" target="_blank">back to Empire Half</a> to run (and maybe try to win again), but when I realized we were out of town that weekend I started to search a bit more. IF I was going to race when we got to Charlotte, it needed to be close and start early. We are going to visit Brian's family and I did not want my running to interfere with anything. Lucky for me, there is a half marathon...10 minutes from his Uncles house and it starts at 7AM. So, I will be running the <a href="http://www.volitionamerica.com/" target="_blank">Volition America Half Marathon</a>. I had not really heard of this race series before, but it's for a great cause and some folks have assured me it's actually a flat course for Charlotte (where as many are not in that area!).<br />
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So just like that, I'm setting goals again. It's frustrating and scary and emotional- but that is pretty much an accurate description of life. I'm also excited, motivated and ready to get back to the grind. Oddly, few things make me feel more stable than the instability of the <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2016/09/20/the-marathon-training-gauntlet/" target="_blank">marathon training gauntlet</a>.<br />
<br />
Bring on the marathon training, and ALLLLL of the food that comes with it.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-86585367406718751222016-09-15T14:30:00.000-04:002016-09-15T14:30:13.654-04:00Oak Tree Half Marathon 2016The <a href="http://www.geneseevalleyconservancy.org/oaktree-info/half-marathon" target="_blank">Oak tree Half marathon</a> is one of my favorite races and probably always will be. It's close to my hometown, MANY of my friends run it, it mainly runs on back roads like ones I grew up on....and it falls on Labor day weekend. My birthday is always right around labor day, but in general I just love that weekend because it's in my head the beginning of a "new season".<br />
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The first time I ran the race was in 2011, it happened to fall smack dab on my birthday. I won the race that year with a 1:36 (which was a PR at the time). In 2012 I went back and ran 1:35 for 3rd place. Even though I love this race, I hadn't been back to it since then. It became a new tradition to always be at our cabin in the 1000 Islands for the weekend, and wasn't going to commute back 3 hours for a race.<br />
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This year though, it worked out to run again as Brian and I had to be around home for the weekend for a wedding and some family events. The race, also fell on my birthday again this year so it was kind of a no brainer. For my birthday, I wanted to run the race and spend the morning with my friends. I even convinced Heather to come out and run it as well.<br />
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The course is not an easy one, but it isn't impossible by any means. There are 2 main climbs, and a good chunk of the course is on dirt/gravel back roads. The race field is usually small but occasionally gets some faster runners. The course records are 1:23 for women and 1:08 for men, though the winning times are rarely that fast(see my 1:36 in 2011).<br />
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Heather came out the night before the race and spent the evening with Brian, myself, and Brian's family(they were in town from the wedding). It was low key back yard BBQ and good times relaxing.<br />
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In the morning, things went smoothly getting on the road and getting to the race about 45 minutes before the start while finishing <a href="http://amzn.to/2d18WS4" target="_blank">my pre race drink</a> in the car. It starts/finishes at the high school which makes for ample bathrooms- always a plus. Heather and I did about a mile warm-up due to time and then headed to the start after saying bye to Brian. I opted not to wear <a href="http://amzn.to/2cqg74P" target="_blank">my flats</a> because I knew it would hurt with the gravel, and went with <a href="http://click.linksynergy.com/link?id=NF5U7LSweTI&offerid=300477.44209733888&type=2&murl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.saucony.com%2Fen%2Ffastwitch%2F044209733888.html%3FCID%3Dcse_linkshare_Fastwitch" target="_blank">my Fastwitch</a> instead (what I used for workouts, and marathon). I also, for the first time wore a crop top. I love sports bra running but have been looking for a crop for a while to see if I would like it. Found <a href="http://amzn.to/2d1aCL1" target="_blank">this one on Amazon</a> and am really happy with it.<br />
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It was admittedly a beautiful morning. We were chilly when we got up (perfect!) and it was in the 50-60's for the race, with nice sunshine and blue sky. It was warming up quick but early start time definitely helps along with the breeze.<br />
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At the start I saw a bunch of good friends, including Dawn who I knew was about to wipe the floor with me on this course. There was another local runner who I knew was going to be in front of me, so in my head I knew that vying for podium meant third. I had a challenging few weeks physically and emotionally leading up to this so I wasn't 100% sure how it would go but was planning around 1:30-31, coach had agreed with that. I know I'm not in PR shape yet, and still returning to my pre-Boston form.<br />
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<h3>
Miles 1-3 (6:37, 6:37, 6:40)</h3>
These are pavement miles, where you run into town and around the fountain and then back outside of town. I love this section because you get to see all of the other runners due to out and back nature of it and then also run through the scream tunnel of the 5k participants waiting to start. I wound up in 5th during these miles and was just focusing on running comfortably hard. The miles ticked off and I was surprised how good they felt.<br />
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<h3>
Miles 4-7 (6:40, 6:43, 7:05, 7:00)</h3>
When you turn left onto Nations road is where the race really begins. At this point it's a long downhill on dirt/gravel, it's hard not to fly down but I maintained pretty good control and used it to sling shot around the corner at the bottom. I was running near a few people, we bobbed back and forth and I could see 4th/3rd places far in front of me. The race starts spreading out more and more each mile around this point.<br />
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Right after mile 5, you turn right to head up Roots Tavern. A long gradual which accounted for the slower 6th and 7th miles (which I knew would be the case). I focused on short strides and even effort, my heart rate jumped a ton for this section until I realized I needed to breathe and let it calm down. We were right in the sun, so I was glad <a href="http://amzn.to/2cyGSp2" target="_blank">I had my shades</a> on and tried to tuck in any tree shadows when I could.<br />
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Part of 7 and 8 you pop back up on main road for a short period which was nice reprieve from the gravel and allowed me to pick things up a little bit and mentally shift gears.<br />
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<h3>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGXh1inJXiWdOCJGaKdHxEmln_jzvGGKr7-gubryDIsvyrL9ZcrsCwMsD90Rsw1yzYp4cw0V0mZEzr23qoThkwjAOjRs2gPrnEq_LyOBAke1iLlpTRCDWsZL4Fh4pTbRjrXzSUCwdjebg/s1600/67570079-262_Half_LN_001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGXh1inJXiWdOCJGaKdHxEmln_jzvGGKr7-gubryDIsvyrL9ZcrsCwMsD90Rsw1yzYp4cw0V0mZEzr23qoThkwjAOjRs2gPrnEq_LyOBAke1iLlpTRCDWsZL4Fh4pTbRjrXzSUCwdjebg/s320/67570079-262_Half_LN_001.jpg" width="213" /></a>Miles 8-10 (6:38, 6:36, 6:46)</h3>
8 is a nice downhill stretch (but back on gravel) and it allowed me to see 3rd and 4th place women ahead of in the distance again. About halfway down the hill I caught fourth place, just one more to go. A few guys and I picked up the pace going back and forth, I mentioned I was trying to catch the girl in 3rd (who, lucky for me was wearing BRIGHT yellow shirt which gave me something to focus on). Before 10 you start the slight uphill getting ready to curve back around to Nations road (the long downhill after mile 3). It was a strange feeling but I really had shifted gears into race mode and was like...I want to catch that girl. Much of the race leading up to that was, just run comfortably hard and save enough for Nations hill at the end.<br />
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<h3>
Miles 11-12 (6:58, 7:35)</h3>
Helllooooo Nations hill. I love/hate this hill. It's gorgeous scenery but will mentally break you if you aren't ready to fight back against it. I didn't look at my watch, just trucked up (slowly) and bided my time until I could get to the top where we go back on main roads (and a gentle downhill to the finish). I could still see yellow shirt, but knew trying to push and catch her on the hill wouldn't be smart. I got a few cheers and "Happy Birthday's" from people I knew out on the course which made me smile- and also made a few runners around me say HBD too.<br />
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<h3>
Mile 13, Finish (6:15, 5:33 for last bit)</h3>
As soon as I got on the road I just stared at yellow shirt back and ran hard until I could get close. Oddly this was the fastest of the day at that point but my heart rate was the lowest during this point. It took me nearly the entire mile to catch her, and finally did right as we got back towards the school. I snuck inside on her right and then turned into the school and onto the track for the finish. A few friends were out cheering, and the announcer knows me so I could hear him yelling for me. I also heard him mention the girl behind me so I had no idea if she was close or not. I hauled ass around the track and finished in 3rd with about 20 seconds to spare.<br />
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<b>1:29:05 is my official time</b> which is a 6ish minute PR for the course. Knowing what I know about this race, the course, and where I am at with my fitness given everything this year- I am really happy with how it all went. It's a LITTLE bit of sting because that is the exact pace <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/09/erie-marathon-2015-sub-3.html" target="_blank">I ran for my marathon last fall</a>, and I know I couldn't hold that pace that long (right now). But at the same time, it's still progress from <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2016/06/21/barleys-training-life-april-june/" target="_blank">where I was</a> a <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2016/07/06/barleys-june-2016-training/" target="_blank">few months ago</a>.<br />
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I caught up with Brian and Dawn(she ended up second!), while we waited for Heather to come through. She was running this as a hard workout but knew she was going to have a good day. When I saw her, I called up to my friend who was announcing and had him cheer her in for me on the loudspeaker (ha she probably looooved that).<br />
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After the race we did a slow 2 mile cool down chatting, and then got back to hang out for awards and birthday celebration with some of my friends. It was so nice to just relax a bit and chat with people I don't see nearly often enough.<br />
<br />
Later that day Brian and I headed up to the cabin in the islands to spend time with my parents. We decided a few weeks beforehand that we would take Tuesday off work so we could spend a few days up there for some R&R. Much needed after working every day the month of August, and also not getting extended time with my parents (mom especially since she lives out of state right now) since early July!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-33294008861954040822016-08-25T15:00:00.000-04:002016-08-25T15:00:21.086-04:00Bergen Road Race 2016Almost two weeks ago now I ran my first "real race" since returning to running. Granted I did the 20k the weekend before, but I ran that <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/08/running-update-sauerkraut-20k.html" target="_blank">as a workout and emotional band-aid-ripping</a>.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/08/bergen-road-race-2015.html" target="_blank">Last year for this race</a> I was in the middle of <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/08/erie-marathon-training-build.html" target="_blank">peak training</a> for <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/09/erie-marathon-2015-sub-3.html" target="_blank">Erie Marathon</a>, this year definitely a far cry from that at this point- BUTTTT before I get all negative nancy, I'm feeling pretty good with where I'm at all things considered.<br />
<h3>
Pre-Race</h3>
I had a little bit of a stink attitude before the race, talking about how I didn't even think I could break 21 minutes in this weather and because I'm so out of shape yadda yadda. In reality, that was my insecurity coming out full force. God, sometimes I really need to be slapped and told not to take myself so seriously. Thank goodness Heather was there to cheer, and also bring me back down to earth a bit.<br />
<br />
It was already really warm at 7:30 in the morning when I got into Bergen, add in the 80+% humidity and I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. I finished my <a href="http://amzn.to/2bfRA6e" target="_blank">Gen UCAN</a> and then did about a 20 minute warm-up in my <a href="http://goo.gl/pP1Ogn" target="_blank">Zealot's</a> and was soaked with sweat by the time I got back to my car. I wanted to be as comfortable as possible for the race, so I opted for sports bra, <a href="http://goo.gl/96xQ9L" target="_blank">Bullet Shorts</a> and <a href="http://goo.gl/7asbrz" target="_blank">Type A6</a> racing flats even though I was going to blind people with my stomach. It was worth it to feel maybe 5 degrees cooler.<br />
<h3>
The Race</h3>
This race is hard to NOT go out fast with the caliber of athletes that show up. It's even harder to not go out fast when you have only done one race/workout in months and don't have a good grasp on pacing or where your fitness level is at. With that said, I ran a 6:09 first mile and knew that wasn't going to last. Spoiler alert, but that's okay.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mid race naps are always welcome.</td></tr>
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<span id="goog_1696596945"></span><br />
I didn't look at my watch at all after that, because it didn't matter. I just focused on running hard and getting from turn to turn and passing people when I could. I encouraged a girl in the second mile and tried to pull her along with me.<br />
<br />
While the course changed last year, the last mile has always been the same as long as I have been running the race. So I know it well, which is good and bad. On this day it was good because I knew where to hold back a little or push and also....when to just freaking go because being done sounded amazing. I passed quite a few people including 4-5 women in the last tenth of a mile- sometimes you just need to feel that competitive fire again to be reminded what you can do.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In finish chute: Photo courtesy of Heather!</td></tr>
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<b>I finished in 19:55.</b> It's far from a <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/11/east-ave-grocery-run-2015.html" target="_blank">personal best</a>, but I was happy to be under 20 and also not run a personal worst for this race (though it was close). <a href="https://www.strava.com/activities/674392832#1558883810" target="_blank">Strava told me</a> I ran roughly 5:08 pace for the last bit of the race which made me feel good knowing I had a kick....and probably should have ran faster sooner. My heart rate was probably also a sign I should have ran harder- I'm going to say I simply don't have the mental will to push right now. But that's a topic for another day.<br />
<br />
All in all it really was a good morning. I was so grateful that Heather came out to cheer and support me. We also ran into my good friend Dawn who I did a lot of Boston training with earlier this year.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dawn, me, Heather</td></tr>
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Being part of the Bergen Elite running team was even better this year as we had even more runners than in the past. Our men's team won the open division and our women's team took second. I was a bit frustrated that I couldn't pull my weight more but man we have so awesome fast ladies representing and leading the team!<br />
<br />
After the race, Heather and I had breakfast and long talk- some of my favorite things! Always good to catch up and also unwind for a while with a good friend. I then raced home, to hop on a skype chat with <a href="http://lindseyhein.com/" target="_blank">Lindsey</a>, <a href="http://www.ericasara.com/" target="_blank">Erica</a>, and <a href="http://www.nycrunningmama.com/" target="_blank">Michele</a>. Basically my entire morning was spent around incredible women in person and afar. I was so excited to chat with the girls for Lindsey's <a href="http://lindseyhein.com/podcast-2/" target="_blank">I'll Have Another podcast</a>. I was <a href="http://lindseyhein.com/20160404-3678/podcast-episode-1-laura-anderson/" target="_blank">first on her podcast</a> back in February (but released in April) and loved getting a chance to do it again for her 25th episode! If you haven't listened to her yet I urge you to give it a shot- she's so much fun and interviews some incredible people like one of my favorite Olympians <a href="http://lindseyhein.com/20160722-4197/ill-have-another-podcast-episode-21-emily-infeld/" target="_blank">Emily Infeld</a>! <a href="http://lindseyhein.com/20160819-4315/ill-have-another-episode-25-erica-laura-michele/" target="_blank">As for our "roundtable" episode</a> that we had this time, I was so lucky to have that time with the ladies. We talked Olympics, Doping, running safety, and also some incredibly personal stuff- go take a listen!<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-9627716929459028772016-08-10T15:00:00.000-04:002016-08-10T15:00:07.888-04:00Running Update & Sauerkraut 20kIt's been a little while, so overdue for some running updates- and a random race report because, why not?<br />
<br />
Getting back into running has been about as you'd expect. There are lots of WTF moments, but also those moments where I start to see a glimmer of my old self and can't help but smirk. There are times Brian, coach and friends get texts where they need to talk me off a ledge and times where I think they assume I'm vying for the 2020 Olympics because I'm so amped up and excited. For an admittedly very grey person (I rarely see things in black and white, this is a post for another day), I can be very all or nothing when it comes to my running. So, the last few weeks have been spent trying to find my grey area. That's where the balance is, where life and running coincide but neither dominates. This is something that has become so important to me the last few years, I don't want running to be my everything but I don't want it to be nothing either.<br />
<br />
Finding my grey area has been going well though-but certainly have had my slip ups (Probably a few too many Shandy's). One thing that really helped me was going to <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/" target="_blank">Salty Running</a> <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2016/08/01/barleys-return-to-running-log-725-731camp/" target="_blank">Camp in Ohio a few weeks ago</a>. I have had the pleasure of getting to know these women and getting to spend a weekend with them running, eating, drinking and OH SO MUCH LAUGHING was just what the doctor ordered. Each person truly brings something different to the table, and each person reminded me in some way of all the good things in running and life. I am already looking forward to next years camp, you really should join us- I promise we will keep you entertained.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Salty Camp Shenanagins!</td></tr>
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Back to training though... I've noticed my easy paces come down a little, my heart rate has been a little more steady, and adding in workouts isn't overly daunting. Although, workout paces ARE a little humbling compared to where I was- but I am doing my best to not compare because it really doesn't matter. I wouldn't change a thing from the last few months. Sure, <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/06/love-mom.html" target="_blank">the happy ending we wanted wasn't there</a>- but that physical and mental break still had it's benefits for me. I'd be remiss not to acknowledge that.<br />
<br />
Emotionally, I just have my moments- like anything. Some things trigger me to feel all the feels- and I have to do my best not to let it drag me down. I'm not avoiding feeling things, but I'm also not allowing them to consume me.<br />
<br />
There is one thing I knew was going to present a challenge to me; pinning on a bib again. The last time I did that, I was 5 weeks pregnant on the <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/04/boston-marathon-2016.html" target="_blank">starting line of one of the most iconic races</a>...talk about feeling all the feels. Dramatic? Maybe, but doesn't change that it's how I feel.<br />
<br />
When we decided I would start running again I knew that there would be some races I didn't want to miss. Bergen 5k was one of those races- unfortunately that is also a race that comes with a lot of pressure. It's our local chapter of USATF championship 5k event with a fast field and PR course. Admittedly, having that be the first bib I pin on since Boston scared the crap out of me(especially since I am nowhere near my competitive or PR shape). I wanted to use it as a time trial to see where I am at but worried the emotions would overshadow the race for me and hold me back.<b> <-----This is me taking myself far too seriously.</b><br />
<br />
I didn't think I really had another option before that though, until I saw a post on Facebook about the Sauerkraut 20k. It's only about a 45 minute drive, but a notably challenging course (specifically miles 6-8) and VERY low key. I ran this race in 2010 and 2011 and vaguely remember enough about it (Garmin logs helped fill in blanks). After looking at the plan for the weekend runs, I pitched the idea to coach (the day beforehand). He agreed, as long as I was willing for it to be a workout, and not a race....which I was 100% on board with. It's low key race, and no pressure to perform at a certain level so backing off for some recovery mid-race wasn't going to be an issue. So, I bucked up the $45 knowing that it would be a good workout and a huge weight lifted emotionally for me.<br />
<br />
My goal was to sneak in, run, and sneak out. That changed the moment I pulled in and saw two old friends, but I was SO glad to see them. Back when I started running road races I used to run with this group of guys all the time- they pushed me, encouraged me, and became like family. I don't live as close anymore so we only see each other a few times a year. In fact, both times I ran this race in the past they were there- so I should have expected to see them. Anyways, it made for a good morning and they reminded me to have FUN and just go run and see what happened. Get back to the basics of going out, running- and not taking it too seriously. You know, the things that made me fall in love with running in the first place.<br />
<br />
So, I did my warm-up and then chatted at the start. This race has REALLY gotten smaller over the years. I ran it in 2010 and there were over 230 runners, the last time I ran it in 2011 there was 194. This year, just 89 runners for the 20k. Granted, it was just the kind of "race-workout" setting I needed- but still sad to see a very old race slowly dying out.<br />
<br />
<b>Plan</b>: 4 miles around 7:15-30, 1 mile easy, 4 miles around 7:15-30, 1 mile easy, 1 mile tempo, half mile easy and the hard into the finish.<br />
<br />
<b>Actual</b>: 4 miles at 7:15 average, 1 mile easy, 4 miles (6 and 8 very slow uphill, 7 and 9 fast downhill) at 7:14, 1 mile easy, 1 mile at 7:08, half mile easy and then 6:40ish pace to the finish for the last little less than a mile. <b>Final time was 1:30:16</b><br />
<br />
I settled into a groove and just hung out for a few miles. Having this be a workout was really good mentally because it broke it up for me. Run 4 miles comfortably hard and then you get to chill for a mile. The first five miles are gradual uphill anyways-nothing nuts but it gets you over time. Mile 6 and 8 are notable uphills, and I managed to pass the other woman on 6 to take the lead. I was using every water stop as a sip of water and dumping the rest on myself. The 72 degrees with 83% humidity definitely not ideal- but about average for this race (August, folks).<br />
<br />
I bobbled back and forth with 2 guys the last few miles which helped- and turned on my race gear a little bit but not enough that I forgot the point of the workout. The last mile was spent maneuvering all of the 5k runners coming through- but it wasn't that bad. I crossed the finish line in the midst of a few others and went about my day cheering for other runners and friends, hanging out and then heading back to Rochester. It was JUST what I needed- low key, confidence boosting, and a hard effort.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://goo.gl/g1zWPr" target="_blank">Shoes</a>. <a href="http://goo.gl/Ckhcl4" target="_blank">Bra</a>.</td></tr>
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Where does this leave me heading forward? Well, the biggest thing is continue plowing forward through whatever comes my way. Deal with the roller coaster, find the joy in running again, and hop on the training wagon in a few weeks. I am running the Bergen 5k this weekend and then will run a half marathon on my birthday Labor day weekend. Once we get through those- I can better figure out more of what this fall will hold in regards to running.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-41945841953297123992016-07-07T12:00:00.000-04:002016-07-07T12:00:25.718-04:00Returning to Running<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/07/moving-forward.html" target="_blank">I said before</a> that I would talk about the return to running, and here it is. As much as some might scoff at me saying that I'm out of shape after 2 months off- it simply means I am not in a place where I feel comfortable (it's not about a number on the scale). I don't feel like myself, or even feel like a runner- honestly those things take time even when there aren't a lot of emotions involved.<br />
<br />
It's not a secret that getting back into shape can be tough, and there isn't some quick-fix. My successes in life came from hard work, not quick fixes- something I remind myself of often. With that said, there are also <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/06/love-mom.html" target="_blank">a lot of emotions surrounding this</a>. I want to run more again, but I also wish things were different- obviously. I also know though that routine is good for me, and so are plans or some semblance of plans. So Brian and I have a <b>loose </b>timeline of what we want to see happen for us and our life in the coming years(*insert snark about the best laid plans here*). I also have my own timeline for my career in the next few years. After those priorities, comes running. My running timeline is dictated by the others, and never the other way around- but I do have the time and desire to train again at the moment, so that is what I am going to do.<br />
<br />
I originally said I would wait a few weeks to get myself in some semblance of running shape before starting a training plan with coach again. When the hormones started shifting though and I found myself unnecessarily stressing about it, I knew it was best to bring him in board sooner. One of the biggest things <a href="http://mckirdytrained.com/" target="_blank">James</a> does for me is remove any running stress, I trust him to guide me and work with me on what is best for me training. So, there is a plan in the calendar as it's been helpful to feel like I have some routine. The <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2016/07/06/barleys-june-2016-training/" target="_blank">last 2 weeks of June</a> I started to see some consistency and that mentally was helpful. I will log my training as normal, and publish training logs over on <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/author/barley/" target="_blank">Salty Running</a> where you can follow along if you choose.<br />
<br />
As for goals, I have a few in mind. But for the time being most are going to be held a little closer to the chest until I really feel ready and at a point I can tackle those goals. Right now the main goal is getting consistency back with my running, build back to 5-6 days a week and eventually back up to my pre-Boston mileage. Beyond that I am working to get back into routine with strength training as well, I know it will help me come back stronger and faster, but also healthier/safer. Coach has given me some workouts to do but I also am getting back into regular <a href="http://amzn.to/29xes0I" target="_blank">work with mini-bands</a>, as this is something that has helped me a ton in the past. Of course I'm spending some quality time with <a href="http://amzn.to/29r24xr" target="_blank">my favorite Addaday roller</a> because, well....returning to running is tiring and makes you just as sore as the thick of marathon training.<br />
<br />
Race wise, I have a few I am eyeing (5k-half) that will be used as time trials/tuneups to see how my training is progressing. I MAY run a fall marathon, but nothing is set in stone. If I do I already know which race it will be but not until later fall, and ONLY if I feel ready to race it for a PR. I <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/04/boston-marathon-2016.html" target="_blank">ran one marathon this year </a>for the hell of it, and the next time I toe that 26.2 start line I want to be able to use everything from pre-Boston and everything I build this summer to bring me to one killer race. I have no regrets about Boston, or this spring- but that doesn't mean I don't want to see big things happen this year still if I can make it happen.<br />
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Call it retail therapy, or call it the desire for even MORE data- but I bought myself a new running watch. My <a href="http://amzn.to/29uLOfm" target="_blank">Garmin 910XT</a> is awesome (and I will still use it), but I've really been enjoying my new 225(<a href="http://amzn.to/29nuQPe" target="_blank">Great deal on Amazon for a refubed one</a>). The optical wrist heart rate is nice (I hate chest straps for HRM), and gives me good feedback on how hard I'm really working. Coming back into training is tough to gauge what is easy pace. Even though I'm not coming back from injury, I still want to make sure I don't set myself back. I won't live and die by the heart rate but I do think it will be a good tool for feedback.<br />
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On the same note of wanting to ease back into things and not get hurt. I have been wearing some more supportive shoes lately, particularly the <a href="http://click.linksynergy.com/link?id=NF5U7LSweTI&offerid=300477.46881898017&type=2&murl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.saucony.com%2Fen%2Fzealot-iso-2%2F646881898017.html%3FCID%3Dcse_linkshare_Zealot%2520ISO%25202" target="_blank">Zealot ISO 2</a>. The <a href="http://click.linksynergy.com/link?id=NF5U7LSweTI&offerid=300477.46881897348&type=2&murl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.saucony.com%2Fen%2Fkinvara-7%2F646881897348.html%3FCID%3Dcse_linkshare_Kinvara%25207" target="_blank">Kinvara's</a> are my go-to trainers but I admit the <a href="http://click.linksynergy.com/link?id=NF5U7LSweTI&offerid=300477.46881898017&type=2&murl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.saucony.com%2Fen%2Fzealot-iso-2%2F646881898017.html%3FCID%3Dcse_linkshare_Zealot%2520ISO%25202" target="_blank">Zealots</a> have definitely stepped up in the competition. They are similar, but offer a bit more cushion and support for pounding the pavement. I will write more about this another day though, I have lots of good <a href="http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click?id=NF5U7LSweTI&offerid=300477.353&type=3&subid=0" target="_blank">Saucony things to talk about</a>!<br />
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Lastly I'd say that focusing on my nutrition and general health is key for life but also getting back into running. I mentioned I started <a href="http://amzn.to/29r3R5s" target="_blank">taking my Iron</a> and <a href="http://amzn.to/29uNFkf" target="_blank">Vitamin D Supplements again</a>, which I know makes a difference. I also have been better about packing lunches and healthier snacks for work (especially on days I work both jobs). Sleep is the one area I definitely need improvement, but that has been a work in progress with new schedules and less time in the day to get things done.<br />
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So with all of that said we will see where things go. It won't be some breakthrough overall, but more generally a physical and mental reset...fresh start. <b>I can't call it a comeback, because I don't ever want to think of pregnancy as a setback</b>. Even though it didn't go how we wanted, I don't want to associate negative feelings with it.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-48834971706078896552016-07-01T11:03:00.000-04:002016-07-01T11:03:40.981-04:00Moving ForwardFirst and foremost I want to thank everyone for their support, Brian and I are incredibly lucky to have great people in our lives. We are also lucky to have the support network all over that we do, we know we're not alone and that is comforting. To all who took the time to call, text, email, comment, tweet, whatever- THANK YOU.<br />
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The last few weeks have been a reminder that life goes on. I don't mean that in a negative way or that we simply flick a switch and move on. I mean it as, the world doesn't stop spinning when bad things happen. Bills still come, work still piles up, other people still exist-and more things will continue to happen(good and bad). While there are times it feels we are standing still, it's almost a comfort that everything keeps moving. Because it forces us to keep moving, even if we slow down to wade through the emotions we have to keep moving. So, we're focused on that.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><u>Emotionally</u></span><br />
Everyone processes things differently. I tend to hop on the roller coaster with things like this, I'll be "fine" one minute and the next I'll be sitting in traffic crying to my steering wheel. Part of this is the grief and part of this is the changes in hormones going on. Overall though we are doing well, because we are doing it together.<br />
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When I'm sad, I talk about it. When I'm happy and want to make light of something, I'm gonna laugh and try to make whoever I am with at the time laugh as well. When I'm frustrated, I TRY and express it as a fact and not towards someone (for the most part, but I'm human). When I want to cry, I do and honestly it happens most at night when the dust settles after the day is done. I talk about it a decent amount, even when others are like "I'd be in a hole, how can you talk about it?". It has nothing to do with my strength. Most simply put, not saying "Voldemort" doesn't make the evil not exist it only breeds more fear(Thanks Hermione). For me, the more I can talk about what is going on- the less sadness/fear I feel when doing so. I don't want to be sad or afraid, because according to the doctor we have NO reason NOT to believe in our future with kids.<br />
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<u style="font-size: x-large;">Physically</u><br />
We are both exhausted, because emotions do that to you let alone life and everything else. I'd say that is one of the biggest things we are facing to be honest. We're tired, ALL.THE.TIME.<br />
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Physically there were definitely some things to work through for me though. The drastic change of pace from marathon training at the highest level (for me personally so far) to working out in a recliner watching Gilmore Girls and Grey's Anatomy reruns for 2 months had just as much if not more of an effect than pregnancy did on my body. My body composition definitely changed, I hadn't gained much weight but my weight did shift to certain areas. I fit back into normal clothes pretty quick but still wasn't my normal self. It has been far less about how I look and so much more about how I feel. It's hard not to feel like crap, feel drained, and feel like I took the time off with nothing to show for it. I know that is a mix of emotions about wishing I was still pregnant and also emotions from....getting back into shape is really freaking hard. I'd be lying if I said that any other way.<br />
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Granted I cannot control how long it takes my hormones to chill the F out, hopefully it happens soon. I'm stuck in an "in-between" phase I feel like (Not 100% back to normal but obviously not still feeling 100% pregnant). I am working on the things that I can control though. I had stopped my supplements in order to just take <a href="http://amzn.to/290dBES" target="_blank">my prenatal ones</a>. I have since resumed <a href="http://amzn.to/28XPGBa" target="_blank">my Iron</a> and <a href="http://amzn.to/29ksOgU" target="_blank">Vitamin D</a> dailies, and I am trying to get extra sleep when I can. I know the combination of those will help my energy return to normal, or at least I hope.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><u>Life</u></span><br />
Life is busy but that is a good thing for us. We are working on house projects and renovations to sell next year and move to the other side of Rochester. It's fun to work on these things, as we can do some together but we each have our side projects to work on too.<br />
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My schedule also changed a bit as I took on a part time job. This is not a new thing for me, for people who have read here for a while- running between jobs and carrying an odd schedule is second nature for me. After 9 months of one job though, finding a new routine with a second job has taken some time. We are finding what works for us though, to make sure extra work doesn't take away from our lives. Extra money is good, but not if I cannot have time for Brian, take care of myself, take care of the house and stay on track. We're a really good team about this though, and I'm lucky to have someone supportive of whatever I choose to do.<br />
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On that note, nothing is really a personal decision anymore its something we decide together. WE, OUR, US...is something we really embrace a lot more. We're building our life, and we know what we want for the future and that starts with building us. As hard as this situation was, it brought us even closer than we already were. We learned how each handles the harder more emotional stuff, and how to best work together to get through things. We saw each other in crisis mode, and there is no one I would rather have holding my hand when things just plain old suck(or when things are good obviously). (I should save that for our vows one day. Note to self.)<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><u>Running</u></span><br />
This is honestly a whole topic in itself and another post to be written. I AM trying to return to running, I know that it is going to be a slow process. 2 months off (uninjured) doesn't sound like a lot but man, I've got some work to do. Right now the goal is simply to get back into a routine, find love for it again (my heart isn't quite there yet honestly), and work on putting one foot in front of the other. Do I have dreams of what I'd like to see when I'm "back", yes. But who knows where things will go for us, and our life and everything else is a bit more of a priority right now.<br />
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At the end of the day we've got SO much good in our lives. So we take the good with the bad and work on moving forward.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-89627717606443860262016-06-16T14:30:00.000-04:002016-06-16T14:30:00.179-04:00Love, Mom.<div>
My Little One,<br />
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I don't know if I can put this all into words, but I'll try my hardest. You deserve that, and I think it will help me too. I hope.</div>
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You appeared so quickly, far less than the expected 2 minutes we were instructed it would take. You were a surprise, but the best kind. Your dad and I were pretty quiet that first night as we both processed everything, but went to bed knowing that an amazing adventure awaited us. We both couldn't wait to be parents together, it was scary but we knew it would be so worth it.</div>
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Just a few short days later we headed off to Boston as a family of 2.5, though we were pretty much the only ones who knew. The race didn't matter to me anymore, at least not in the sense that it did a few weeks prior. You gave me a good explanation of why the last few weeks felt so off, and why my motivation was lacking. We enjoyed the weekend together, I loved showing you and your Dad around Boston.<br />
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Come Patriot's day, I was very conflicted. I wanted to run, but I wanted to do what was best for us. I started with a very loose plan, but come the halfway point I knew that the best thing for us would be to pull the plug. So I slowed down and we took it easy- something I will never regret. I crossed that finish line with my hand on my stomach, and said this was for you. The <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/04/boston-marathon-2016.html" target="_blank">2016 Boston Marathon was for you</a>.<br />
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After returning home, you and I spent all of our time together. You got me to slow down, relax and take a much needed break from running. You wanted me to rest, and I did. We ate a lot of food, we grew together, and my body started growing with that. </div>
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At 8 weeks, we heard your heartbeat. I think my heart skipped it's own beat in awe of how strong and amazing you sounded. You were growing perfectly, you looked like a little peanut and we had our first picture of you. We felt safe, and comforted knowing you were growing up fast. We went to bed early, we ate well (and often!), and we did everything we could for you.<br />
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We spent the weekend before you marked the eleventh week up at the cabin in The Thousand Islands. We shared that time with my parents, and we all talked about the things you would do as you grew up creating memories here- just like your Aunt Megan and I did. Your dad and I started making plans, talking about names, and sharing the news. Family and close friends knew about you, and soon everyone else would too. </div>
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As we were about to end the first trimester, and since we had heard your heartbeat already, the risks had decreased drastically.We went to the doctor to check up on you and get some genetic testing, we could even know if you were a baby boy or girl soon from that! We were so excited for the next step, and went in with hope and love. </div>
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It was a Tuesday morning, and everything changed in an instant.<br />
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We found out that your heart had stopped beating, and we instantly felt like ours had too. I still looked, and felt pregnant, you were still there but at the same time you weren't. It was confusing and scary and incredibly sad. Your Dad and I cannot stop hearing those words and that is something that will take time to process but it's something we will go through together.</div>
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We're sad, and mad and we keep questioning every breath from the last few months. The cold fact is there was nothing we did wrong, though we will always wonder. Because we cared about you, and wanted to keep you safe. It's hard knowing your heart just wasn't strong enough, regardless of how much love we had for you. We know we're not alone and we know that many have suffered like us. We have hope for the future together with kids and we know that some will never have that- I promise not to take that for granted.</div>
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We were ready to share with the world, we had it planned and we couldn't have been more excited. At first I wondered if we got too excited, if we got too far ahead of ourselves but then I realized I wouldn't change a thing regardless of the outcome. I don't think it's possible to detach and not be hopeful just to try and preserve yourself in case something happens. Expecting the worst is not the way to live. Regardless of how we felt and who we told or what we did- it was still going to hurt. Putting a wall up doesn't make things easier, it just prevents people who love you from supporting you and being there. </div>
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Your Dad and I spent a lot of time just sitting, talking and being together. We had each other and I cannot tell you how important that is. While I was the one carrying you, WE made you, and it was something WE both have to process. Together we also decided I would still join your Aunt Heather on our planned trip to Utah shortly after this all happened. We believed it would be good for me, even though being apart during this time would be tough for us. The days would be filled with adventure, and the nights we were only a phone call away from each other when things were harder (okay, the nights were really challenging).<br />
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The trip to Utah did indeed help, even if some wondered why or how I could go. I put on a happy face and allowed myself to experience things. Not because I wasn't sad, not because I wasn't hurting. But because sitting down and letting the silence take over would have consumed me. So instead, I focused my energy on taking care of myself, supporting one of my biggest supporters, and experiencing things that I could only have hoped to do with you one day. One of the mornings, it was just you and I listening to music as we drove up a dark winding canyon road in search of a good spot. We found that spot, and we sat while I cried watching the sunrise over a reservoir nestled in the mountains. While I knew I had a long way to go, I feel like that moment gave me a piece of hope and a sliver of acceptance.</div>
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I flew home late on a Monday night, I was beyond ready to be there with your Dad. It had been 6 days since we got the news and those words still felt like they were a broken record in my head that I couldn't turn off. On that 7th day we spent a few hours with people who helped us get the closure we needed. My body hadn't yet realized what was going on, and simply waited until I was in a safe place with your Dad and some incredibly caring nurses and doctors. As hard as that last week with you was, I'm grateful I had that time to process and grieve at my own pace. While you're gone now, we know it will take time. Sad just takes time.<br />
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In your few months you saw and did more than some do in a lifetime. You ran a blizzard half marathon with me being your unknowing Trojan horse to the finish. You welcomed your cousin Max into the world with us. You took part in the 120th Boston marathon in a blazing time of 3:16 (it took me 6 tries to get a time like that, you did it in one!). You flew on a plane, went hiking in a canyon, and so many other things I could have only hoped to do again with you. Perhaps the most important thing that you experienced though, was love. You were so incredibly loved, and I cannot express that in any words that will do it justice. You were loved, you showed your Dad and I even more love in each other and those around us.</div>
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I debated sharing this letter with anyone but you. But you were a part of my life, something your Dad and I were happy to have even though it ended too soon. I don't want to pretend you weren't there, because you were and probably always will be in some ways.</div>
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Love, Mom </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-66366006938509729272016-04-29T14:00:00.000-04:002016-04-29T14:00:05.706-04:00Boston Marathon 2016Almost two weeks ago I ran my third Boston Marathon. There was a time in my life I didn't know about Boston, I didn't know how far a marathon was, and a time after I knew those things- that I still never believed I'd get to achieve Boston. Maybe those facts make last Monday's race easier to just "let go" of. I ran a 3:16 marathon on a day I was trained for a 2:55. As much as people may not believe me- I really am okay with this. I was in control, and I made the choice that got me to that time.<br />
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<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2014/04/boston-marathon-2014-recap.html" target="_blank">My first Boston</a> was undeniably the bright spot I needed at a hard time, and was incredibly proud of running to enjoy that experience. <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/04/boston-marathon-2015.html" target="_blank">Last year, Boston was just as spectacularly epic</a> but in a different way. I didn't need Boston this year, in that sense. I didn't need it to be a breakthrough that was long time coming, and I didn't need it to be some shining light in the dark. So when I got to the half and knew it wasn't the day to push, I was incredibly at ease with that decision. It didn't even feel like a decision.<br />
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My peak and taper were far from ideal this time around, after a great training cycle it was tough to see it crumble so late in the game. Three weeks out from the race I took two unplanned days off(personal stress & family loss), but rebounded with the best 24 mile run I've had in training. One week later I had a funeral and followed the next day with a <a href="http://www.runnersworld.com/races/watch-syracuse-half-marathon-runners-go-through-hail?cid=soc_Runner%27s%20World%20-%20RunnersWorld_FBPAGE_Runner%E2%80%99s%20World__News" target="_blank">planned half marathon workout turned nightmare</a>. As much as the weather was to blame, my confidence never really came back from that. I focused on trying to get back on track mentally in taper, but a poorly timed bout of the stomach flu 7 days before the race about wiped any confidence I had left for Boston. My coach was awesome through all of this, helping me adjust and also not go insane. We took the repeated hits and just kept going as best we could.<br />
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Two days before we were set to leave, I simply found a way to file it under "it is what it is". I had such a strong training cycle with a new coach and I wasn't going to let this ruin all of that. It was still going to be a great weekend away with Brian, and another chance to run a race that so many would love to- I refused to take that for granted. I hadn't ruled out a PR race for myself, but I did not have my happiness tied to the outcome. It was a freeing feeling.<br />
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Brian and I spent the weekend bopping around Boston together, and it was so much fun. We did stuff associated with the race (Expo, finish line...the usual) but we also did a lot that wasn't- because life is so much more than running. Don't get me wrong, I love running and I love Boston but this weekend wasn't just about me running it was about US (and the best lobster roll I've ever had).<br />
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We stayed a bit outside the city but race morning was a breeze with an uber ride and then a few stops on the red line. I ran into <a href="https://www.instagram.com/juliavegas/" target="_blank">Julia</a> which was a great way to start the morning, as I got to share the morning with her last year too! Eventually I met up with <a href="https://www.instagram.com/paceofme/" target="_blank">Jessica</a>, <a href="http://www.nycrunningmama.com/" target="_blank">Michele </a>and a few other new friends which just made the bus ride and time in Hopkinton that much better. No shortage of inspiration from these ladies, I hadn't seen Jess or Michele <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/10/chicago-saucony-26-strong.html" target="_blank">since Chicago</a> but it felt like we never left.<br />
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Athletes village was the standard sitting on a towel in a field, with the best people watching you can imagine. I always get a huge kick out of everyone's throwaways. I had scrub pants this year and I was sad to leave them behind as they were super comfy. While standing in bathroom line with <a href="https://www.instagram.com/meg_asht0n/" target="_blank">Meg</a>, I remember hearing them talking over the loud speaker reminding everyone to write emergency contact info on the back of their bib. I thought about it and was like- meh and went back to chatting. This will haunt me later.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicYS8Gir33CRHaOvsD-n-NKdiCbk12o0Mt8t8_oHe7GUWWwP4MmhILFfveQZMU823t1bRgALcYn-nP5cXGi9pMFer8YsLQ4LtERW7blEW9N6jiAZYyEEioIPriR7XE_yq37SxswSJjxeI/s1600/13061931_10209319792461498_5887131410532953190_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicYS8Gir33CRHaOvsD-n-NKdiCbk12o0Mt8t8_oHe7GUWWwP4MmhILFfveQZMU823t1bRgALcYn-nP5cXGi9pMFer8YsLQ4LtERW7blEW9N6jiAZYyEEioIPriR7XE_yq37SxswSJjxeI/s400/13061931_10209319792461498_5887131410532953190_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">About to board the bus to Hopkinton with these awesome women.</td></tr>
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Eventually it was time to head to the start for those of us in the first wave. The good luck hugs went around the circle and then I made my way through the crowds. For the second year in a row, I got to walk with <a href="https://www.instagram.com/normiebob/" target="_blank">Norman </a>as we made our way through start corrals. I ate another pack of <a href="http://amzn.to/1VAr1Zr" target="_blank">Honey Stinger chews</a> while we walked and chatted about running, life changes, and smiled our way to our respective starts. I had no idea how I was feeling for the race, but spending the morning with awesome people and knowing I'd get to see Brian in a few hours was enough to tell me that it was going to be a good day (in general).<br />
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As I stood in my corral waiting to start, I heard my name and looked over to see <a href="http://www.3cheaprunners.com/" target="_blank">Mike</a>! I was so happy to see another friendly face! I've been friends with him and his <a href="https://www.instagram.com/cheaprunnermichelle/" target="_blank">wife Michelle</a> for a few years now, so it was nice to catch up a little while we waited. It was Mike's first Boston and I was so excited for him- he worked his tail off to qualify and was now training for his first Ironman.<br />
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I noticed I was already warm, and made a mental note to double up on hydration throughout.<br />
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After the start, I had my watch set on overall time and overall average pace. I had originally made a 2:55 pace band, but left it in the hotel on purpose that morning. I kind of knew off the bat with the rising temps and recent issues that 2:55 wasn't going to happen, but possibly sub-3 if I played it smart. The miles ticked away, I smiled and settled into a groove. In the first 10k I remember hearing my name and whipped around a little too late to see who it was- but I waved to the nice woman (whoever you are, thank you!). I wasn't feeling awesome but I also wasn't feeling awful, so I made a deal with myself to make it to the half and readjust as need be. The sun was blazing and <a href="http://amzn.to/2343S0t" target="_blank">my sunglasses</a> definitely helped but I wish I had brought <a href="http://amzn.to/1VArlHE" target="_blank">my visor</a> from the hotel too, live and learn.<br />
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Around the 15k I was getting the feeling that I should probably hit a bathroom, but didn't know when I would see one and didn't want to weave too far out of my way to get to one. So I bided my time and just took in the sights and sounds (hello, Wellesley) along the way. <a href="http://amzn.to/1QyRFtE" target="_blank">My gel </a>wasn't sitting well and I decided that I probably wasn't going to be able to stomach any more of them, but I had drank a <a href="http://amzn.to/1SNaQrj" target="_blank">bottle of UCAN</a> in the morning so I wasn't too worried about fuel. I continued to double up on water at each stop, I knew it was getting warmer and combating dehydration would be key.<br />
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I reached the half (1:29:33), and then I put all my energy into finding a bathroom. I had to wait about 30 seconds for one to be vacant, then got in and out pretty quick (and then back in). I did a little self assessment about how I was feeling and knew right then it was time to pull the plug.<br />
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Some people say they didn't think the conditions were that bad and ran fine- <b>and that's okay.</b> Everyone is different and I don't take offense when people say that. Because, you know what....last year that was me. While the conditions were far from ideal last year at Boston, I ran a (small) PR and conquered the course. This was not going to be one of those days.<br />
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For me, this wasn't even a question- I knew it was the right call to back off at the half as everything inside of me was screaming to just take it easy. The last few weeks had been a roller coaster with a messy peak/taper, which doesn't exactly help heading into a goal race. I was not feeling 100%, the conditions weren't working for me, and I didn't think it was worth it to push. I could push and make myself super uncomfortable for a non-PR and probably finish worse for the wear and with a less than stellar attitude. Or I could back off, run with others, soak in BOSTON and finish with pride and gratefulness. I chose the later.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pretty consistent first half<br />and also pretty consistent (yet slower/easier) second half</td></tr>
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So, I downshifted mentally and physically and took off down the road. Not too long after I saw a guy on the side of the road, I quickly realize it was <a href="https://www.instagram.com/ryanmccartney/" target="_blank">Ryan </a>and I stopped to see if he was ok. We took off running easy together, he too wasn't have the best day. He knew he would see<a href="https://thetamburarunner.com/" target="_blank"> his wife Jess</a> around 20, so we just set a goal of getting there and seeing what happened. We ran together for a few miles, walked occasionally and I started taking Gatorade for the electrolytes. My <a href="http://amzn.to/1SNb4yD" target="_blank">spi-belt</a> wasn't helping my stomach and I couldn't get comfortable with it AT ALL, so I ended up ditching it as I knew it was replaceable.<br />
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I also was watching everyone who was flying past us, not feeling negative about it but actually looking for friends. I was thinking of all those I knew and hoping they were having better days, that was a happy thought that helped me keep going. Almost like a "let me take one for the team" kind a feeling.<br />
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Eventually Ryan and I got separated, I felt bad that I couldn't find him but I knew he would see Jess soon. I was looking for her as I got to 19-20 but didn't know where she would be. Turns out, she saw me but I never saw her.<br />
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I was worrying about Brian and my family worrying (worrying about worrying, is that a thing?). Eventually I pulled to the side to ask a couple if I could use their phone to text him and let him know I was okay. Well 20+ miles plus 70+ degrees = Laura spacing on the order of the first 3 numbers of her boyfriends cell phone. FABULOUS. The girl asked me if it was on the back of my bib (you know, like it should be) and I hung my head and muttered some choice words to myself. <b>Note: next time just don't be too damn proud to write a number on your bib</b>.<br />
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I was frustrated with myself for being a space cadet about a number but hopped in a bathroom again quick and then got back to the race. The last few miles, like any marathon really were a blur. The smell of beer through Boston College was stronger than ever. The cheers and the signs were much needed, and helped pass the time. I walked occasionally, but not too much. I kept telling myself to get to Brian, as I knew I'd see him in the last mile.<br />
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Somewhere in the last few I heard my name called out and looked over to see <a href="https://www.instagram.com/racheladak/" target="_blank">Rachel</a>, this was MUCH needed! I stuck my tongue out and threw my hands up, we had talked a lot the few days prior so she knew it just wasn't my day based on the week leading up to it. But seeing her smiling face and hearing the cheers was such a bright spot.<br />
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A little while later I was GLUED to the left side watching for Brian. I wanted to see him. I needed to see him. The good news is, since I was watching so intently I also saw some other friends! I stuck my tongue out, waved and then kept going on my way. Finally I heard Brian before I saw him. I blew him a big kiss (and the guys in front of him thought it was for them) and made the turn onto Hereford with a fire lit. It was just what I needed.<br />
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I took a peek at my watch, and took off and made the best left turn and didn't stop until I was officially done. Marathon number 14, I won't forget you that's for sure. It wasn't some epic finish, there were no tears, in fact it was probably the least emotions (good or bad) I've had about a marathon in a while. I was content and proud to have another Boston done. I finished tired, and feeling as if I ran 26 miles. My one sided sunburn and minimal chafe marks were the only "battle wounds" as quality <a href="http://amzn.to/1NPZNGs" target="_blank">running socks</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YBFJC6I/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=sl1&tag=catmybre-20&linkId=0fdbbcf7cac1e5ca4df0953129d2b2b4" target="_blank">shoes</a> that kept my feet unblistered and unbeaten. I call that a win.<br />
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Not every race will be a PR, this is just kind of a fact of running. Look, I won't sit here and say I wouldn't have liked the race to go differently. I won't say a PR wouldn't have been awesome. I won't say that it's a little sad not to see a killer training cycle with a new coach not come to fruition on race day. But, there is a time and a reason for everything and I can sleep just fine knowing that Boston 2016 wasn't the epic marathon PR. I didn't let the outcome of the race dictate how I viewed the training cycle, or the amazing weekend, or even the day in general. That is leaps and bounds of how I would have acted a few years ago about it- so with that I say it's pretty cool to see personal growth.<br />
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<a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2016/04/19/running-archaeology-analyzing-a-training-cycle/" target="_blank">The training cycle wasn't a waste by any means</a>. I have a <a href="http://mckirdytrained.com/" target="_blank">great coach who I trust</a>. I hit workouts I didn't think I could. I set a <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/03/2016-freezeroo-series-recaps.html" target="_blank">HUGE 10k PR</a>, and<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/03/johnnys-running-of-green-2016.html" target="_blank"> a small 5 mile PR</a> (even though I ran a tempo run right before the race). I ran my <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/03/lake-effect-half-marathon-2016.html" target="_blank">second fastest half marathon</a> as a WORKOUT. I ran through all kinds of weather, and also battled the mental aspects of treadmill workouts. I did the work, and come race day I did what was best for me. So yeah, I'm pretty happy about that.<br />
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<b>Onto the next adventure, and it's gonna be good.</b><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-53925614931377751642016-03-17T13:13:00.000-04:002016-03-17T13:13:33.248-04:00Johnny's Running of the Green 2016Even though I raced my way through the winter, Johnny's is always considered the unofficial start of racing season in the area. This past weekend was extra special though, because it was going to be a morning full of family too. My sister and her husband planned on coming with my nephew, and Mom made last minute flight plans and was able to be there! Dad and I....we were the runners!<br />
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I always try and wear some green, as many runners do for the race. I wore my <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B013SGJQ8E/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B013SGJQ8E&linkCode=as2&tag=catmybre-20&linkId=PALZIONLB4OGT6RF" target="_blank">Green Saucony PE shorts</a> with my Bergen singlet. I was eager to test out my new <a href="http://amzn.to/1YQXusU" target="_blank">Tifosi sunglasses</a> in a race, perfect sunny day for it! I left pretty early since I knew I needed more warm-up time, I ate some <a href="http://amzn.to/1U9wp5t" target="_blank">Honey Stinger chews</a> and drank <a href="http://amzn.to/1Ujcxwf" target="_blank">GenUCAN </a>on the way. I knew it would be a long morning of running so wanted some extra fuel.<br />
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Due to training for Boston, and having raced recently it was decided it didn't make sense to all out race the 5 mile for me. The 10k PR recently, gave me good information on my current fitness level. So the plan was to run 2 x 5 mile that day. I got there and did a short warm-up, then did 5 miles around tempo pace (I wore my workout shoes for this part, the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00CWB2Z3K/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00CWB2Z3K&linkCode=as2&tag=catmybre-20&linkId=ODOPEPL7MVKYG2PP" target="_blank">Fast Twitch</a>) . The paces were a bit slow and it took me a while to feel "alright", but I chalked that up to my allergies and being low on sleep.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Family time with my Nephew and Dad!</td></tr>
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I then ran a little easy back to the start area to find my family and change into my <a href="http://amzn.to/1UsFIM9" target="_blank">Type A6</a> racing flats and shed my <a href="http://amzn.to/1Xqu83q" target="_blank">run strong sport top</a>. I gave dad his shirt and bib and he was ready to go. I gave him a few reminders, and told him to stay to the left so when we hit the out and back portion I could see him easier!<br />
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I found my Bergen Elite teammates and we chatted a bit before the start. Then it was pretty much time to go. My goal was to just run and see what happened, maintaining consistent effort.<br />
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Having run the tempo before the race was a good way of making sure I didn't blow out of the gates and start too fast. It's a slight uphill into headwind to start, and I tucked in with a group of guys that I knew I normally would be around.<br />
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I hit the first mile around 6:10 and made my goal to just hold the effort. I picked off some people, and kept telling myself not to do anything crazy and to just get to the turnaround point. The turnaround comes after a short uphill and then it's a hairpin turn around a folding chair (which is totally dumb, it was way better when the turnaround was 5 feet sooner...and went around the actual traffic circle...but I digress). After that, I peeked to my left to see who was coming up behind me and basically made the goal not to let anyone pass me. I think I did good in that department, and I just kept the same effort.<br />
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I spent the next few minutes staring at everyone coming at us on the left side. I didn't want to miss Dad coming back at me! I exchanged cheers and high fives with some people I knew, and then finally saw dad! We cheered for each other but totally failed and missed our side fives- but we tried! After that I used the Ford St. Bridge as another checkpoint to work my way to.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mile 4</td></tr>
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Once I got back on Exchange it was just, hold on and go for it. I passed a few more people and got excited when I saw my sister out in the road cheering.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pushing in the last half mile</td></tr>
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I crossed the finish in 31:03 which is technically an official 5 mile PR. Although, I did run a faster 5 mile time in the middle of that <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/03/2016-freezeroo-series-recaps.html" target="_blank">10k PR recently</a>. It's fun though, and nice to see that I can do so even on tired legs. Pretty sure I could run faster if I didn't tempo beforehand...duh. BUT, I succeeded in the goal for the day and I am looking forward to my main goal of Boston right now.<br />
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My sister came and found me after the finish and then we went back to my Mom, nephew and brother in law. I love how excited Alden gets, makes my heart melt!<br />
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I took the stroller and pushed Alden backwards on the course with Mom while looking for Dad. We just kept telling him to look for Boppa! Eventually we stopped and waited, and then got super excited when we saw him coming! Dad swung over for a high five, and then I took off running with him towards the finish. He was passing people and running really well- and certainly faster than his goal! I cannot tell you how happy him running made me!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxnED1kpr5Dgz0JoFAzjRk_ATmnprO0262kmToe8mDtABDmxm3BMUHXTE1fHz5_AtbKxoQ1QaTxJxZctkqSeT3eWut8PsEKBxFldaNLhEcQibfZ1clhDCbm-vPk8T0n64KQqxjnlxcSJM/s1600/DSC08475.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxnED1kpr5Dgz0JoFAzjRk_ATmnprO0262kmToe8mDtABDmxm3BMUHXTE1fHz5_AtbKxoQ1QaTxJxZctkqSeT3eWut8PsEKBxFldaNLhEcQibfZ1clhDCbm-vPk8T0n64KQqxjnlxcSJM/s400/DSC08475.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Running in with Dad, I need to frame this!</td></tr>
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Overall it was just a great morning all around. I got to run hard, see friends and spend quality time with family. We of course went to lunch after, and celebrated with a Guinness!<br />
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Now back to the marathon training grind, Boston is getting so close! I'm running Syracuse half two weeks prior but that will be a marathon paced workout due to how close it is.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Happy St. Patrick's Day!</span></b></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-40615834804534064212016-03-11T11:30:00.000-05:002016-03-11T12:48:13.927-05:00Lake Effect Half Marathon 2016This winter was exactly what I wanted and needed it to be for my training. I was signed up for a lot of events due to the <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2016/03/2016-freezeroo-series-recaps.html" target="_blank">Freezeroo series</a>, on top of Lake Effect being tradition with the girls now. I knew that I shouldn't race all of them, and it made the most sense to pick and choose which ones would be more important. I really wanted a 10k PR(the weekend following this race), which meant this half marathon would be best suited to be a long workout. Ya know, just finally catching up on these posts here. Not that it matters- but will be fun to look back years from now and be able to read these (for me).<br />
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<b>This race was February 21, 2016</b></div>
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I picked up my friend Dawn that morning on the way out to Syracuse and we had a really easy ride which was a good start to the day. We both had to extend warm-up and cool-downs for the race to hit mileage for the day, so we grabbed our bibs and then started getting going.</div>
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Having done the race twice before(<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2014/02/lake-effect-half-marathon-friends-prs.html" target="_blank">2014</a>, 2015), I pretty much knew what to expect. At least this year there wasn't any fresh snow, so we wouldn't be encountering a trashed back half of the course(<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/02/lake-effect-half-marathon-2015-womp-womp.html" target="_blank">last year</a>). Warm-up felt decent, followed by some strides. It wasn't too cold out so I was comfortable enough in my <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00FFZJ2LI/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00FFZJ2LI&linkCode=as2&tag=catmybre-20&linkId=BELXEOPVPEKBTHOL%22%3EZensah%20Tech+%20Compression%20Socks,%20Black,%20Small%3C/a%3E%3Cimg%20src=%22http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=catmybre-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00FFZJ2LI" target="_blank">Zensah Tech+ socks</a>, Saucony <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00E1YLOV0/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00E1YLOV0&linkCode=as2&tag=catmybre-20&linkId=JXE7R7BQ35MV6QBP%22%3ESaucony%20Women%27s%20Ignite%20Tight%20Shorts,%20Black/Black,%20Small%3C/a%3E%3Cimg%20src=%22http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=catmybre-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00E1YLOV0" target="_blank">Ignite shorts</a>, with <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00IF2WU2G/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00IF2WU2G&linkCode=as2&tag=catmybre-20&linkId=7JYBF3JO4VB2U22U%22%3ESaucony%20Drylete%20Arm%20Warmers,%20Vizipro%20Citron,%20Medium%3C/a%3E%3Cimg%20src=%22http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=catmybre-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00IF2WU2G" target="_blank">arm warmers</a> and the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00IF2WH42/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00IF2WH42&linkCode=as2&tag=catmybre-20&linkId=ELDCO7S3LVRNTHXU%22%3ESaucony%20Ulti-Mitt,%20Vizipro%20Electric,%20X-Small%3C/a%3E%3Cimg%20src=%22http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=catmybre-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00IF2WH42" target="_blank">ultimitt gloves</a>. Since I wasn't racing all out, I didn't run in the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00KXDC1B0/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00KXDC1B0&linkCode=as2&tag=catmybre-20&linkId=OPFO3AQQES5ZNMQ7%22%3ESaucony%20Women%27s%20Type%20A6%20White/Blue/Pink%208.5%20B%20-%20Medium%3C/a%3E%3Cimg%20src=%22http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=catmybre-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00KXDC1B0" target="_blank">Type A6</a>. The <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00CWB2Z3K/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00CWB2Z3K&linkCode=as2&tag=catmybre-20&linkId=J4ND77CXD32EZVQU%22%3ESaucony%20Women%27s%20Fastwitch%206%20Running%20Shoe,Slime/Black/Coral,8%20M%20US%3C/a%3E%3Cimg%20src=%22http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=catmybre-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00CWB2Z3K" target="_blank">fast twitch</a> are my go to for workouts and I also <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/09/erie-marathon-2015-sub-3.html" target="_blank">raced Erie</a> in them so it made sense to use those this time around.</div>
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The plan was to run the first 10 miles around goal marathon pace (6:40ish), and then pick it up for the last 3.1 miles after that. I knew it was going to be tough to hold back, but I also kept in mind the purpose of the workout which really helped. Shortly after the start I found myself tucked in with a group of guys, something made us chuckle (I think some random guy on the course) and we found ourselves chatting after that.We talked goals non-chalantly and kind of came to an agreement to help each other and try to run together. I told them my plan for the first 10, and we went on our way.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibar8BM2XWhJL_P6x-GTcR7rx0oCb7VUxMCubrVubLiAlI6gc4hCiud8t8A15w8OTOsnxGOqcaotqHuJYjBq_NDdHX6j55YvC9mohEbXEeqiBvs-7s9uJ0f8FHYSeovQUIKnYFUaOribM/s1600/IMG-IMG_1778.jpg.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibar8BM2XWhJL_P6x-GTcR7rx0oCb7VUxMCubrVubLiAlI6gc4hCiud8t8A15w8OTOsnxGOqcaotqHuJYjBq_NDdHX6j55YvC9mohEbXEeqiBvs-7s9uJ0f8FHYSeovQUIKnYFUaOribM/s400/IMG-IMG_1778.jpg.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We ran almost the entire race together!</td></tr>
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We clicked the miles off near perfectly with pace, and chatted about upcoming goals and races as we did so. The pace felt good and I remember feeling like this pace wasn't a complete pipe dream for Boston this year. I kind of figured out mid-race that it was going to be a PR for the guys I was running with, which only motivated me more to hang on and I encouraged them as we ran. I tried not to count women as we started seeing leaders come back at us(double out and back course), because I didn't want to get caught up in racing mentality. I saw Dawn which was a good boost, and then we hit the turnaround and my personal favorite part. Seeing everyone coming at you as you're running back. I love how encouraging everyone is and really lets the running community shine. The guys that I was running with know a LOT of people (they run with a Syracuse group), so we got lots of extra cheers. Then we saw Britt and she joked about me always being with groups of guys, we all chuckled.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOKS_P8qRf0oVURKO8FLCukVaAs7gdCaBiCct6LMUEzQTfIzWlwc71o_tzUb96yhulU0ZOn8euJgYfMOze7AR3uWN7lGRPY0VhOcrxZDCZsanVsaq_GPIXj7Ezg7_-5IOQBwSglCWabWo/s1600/IMG_1782.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOKS_P8qRf0oVURKO8FLCukVaAs7gdCaBiCct6LMUEzQTfIzWlwc71o_tzUb96yhulU0ZOn8euJgYfMOze7AR3uWN7lGRPY0VhOcrxZDCZsanVsaq_GPIXj7Ezg7_-5IOQBwSglCWabWo/s400/IMG_1782.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I saw my friend Megan and was making funny faces and arm movements, I'm really glad the photographer caught it. Shows I really was having fun and enjoying the workout/race!</td></tr>
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When we started the second out and back, the wind was far more significant than the first trip out. My quads got a bit cold and I did some random surges occasionally just to change things up. At this point we were talking less, but still running on pace and helping each other. I kept saying "just get to the turnaround and no more headwind". Finally we hit the turnaround and as it happens, we got the reprieve from the wind. I felt a little sluggish for about a mile after we turned, and worried I wouldn't be able to pick up the pace soon. But, I surged forward before 10 and one of the guys went with me. About a mile later I was solo, but running strong and I knew I was picking it up. I could see the next girl in the distance, and wanted to see how much I could reel her in.</div>
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The last few miles were good, and certainly reassuring being able to finish a solid workout. I closed the gap a lot on 3rd place female, but couldn't quite catch her in time before we reached the finish. It was a close one though. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj66q7564JlGP2iqFEO3HO8FgOxLxHrPxqEdYK-sZvgRAS8gTWBm_2YtbcqR0Zxgw0Gh99cgJV9iisBWIC7r4RHB4SI_vSx2xrAwp5lqUI7wCxEjZUq3i1Ao6-EW-P83eC2hWjfabF_HO0/s1600/IMG-IMG_2429.jpg.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj66q7564JlGP2iqFEO3HO8FgOxLxHrPxqEdYK-sZvgRAS8gTWBm_2YtbcqR0Zxgw0Gh99cgJV9iisBWIC7r4RHB4SI_vSx2xrAwp5lqUI7wCxEjZUq3i1Ao6-EW-P83eC2hWjfabF_HO0/s400/IMG-IMG_2429.jpg.JPG" width="266" /></a></div>
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<b>I finished in 1:26:41 which is 6:37 pace, and good enough for 4th place for a workout.</b> I am really pleased with that, and technically it's my second fastest half behind my <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2015/11/25/barleys-philadelphia-half-marathon-recap/" target="_blank">1:24:51 at Philly</a> in November. Definitely confidence boosting to run strong longer workout with still a good amount of training to be done before Boston. I used this as a good training day but also nutrition practice. I drank <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B012BNOPPE/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B012BNOPPE&linkCode=as2&tag=catmybre-20&linkId=5DRKXUQDWMSXXD63" target="_blank">Gen UCAN</a> prior to the race, which has worked really well for me the last few years. I actually didn't end up taking anything besides water during the race (stomach wasn't feeling a gel), but still good practice at water stops and holding pace.</div>
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Before cooling down I cheered for some other runners coming in, including the guys that I ran most of the race with! They both set huge new PR's and gave me big high fives, that made me really happy. I also got to see Britt soon after her finish which was a great training run for her as she prepares for Pittsburgh Half in May. We hung out and waited around for awards for a while (Dawn took second overall!), and I got a pair of gloves for age group win. (Funny story, 2 years ago Dawn and I took 2nd and 4th just like this year :) That was when we first met. Now she lives in Rochester and we can train together!)</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiprSDzrN9xteatUxPBhKJ9V-6wcLv_eMLolzjhWLBryWHcfAx-jE7RYiRAUGR-GL_9yNNGNr9a_RXkMW7EfBJ28RScGCzaJsXX9Sv5yODjr2NltKVhs-Wa7aGsaW_SGpnecz_x3Y8MAOY/s1600/dawn+britt+LEHM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiprSDzrN9xteatUxPBhKJ9V-6wcLv_eMLolzjhWLBryWHcfAx-jE7RYiRAUGR-GL_9yNNGNr9a_RXkMW7EfBJ28RScGCzaJsXX9Sv5yODjr2NltKVhs-Wa7aGsaW_SGpnecz_x3Y8MAOY/s400/dawn+britt+LEHM.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dawn, Britt and I after Blues Boozy Brunch!</td></tr>
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Afterwards was the best part, as always. Boozey Blues Brunch at Empire Brewing Company. Good beer while we waited for a table, followed by sitting right behind the jazz band and demolishing huge plates of the best food while chatting. We missed our partner in crime Heather as she was stuck in Hawaii (I don't feel too bad for her on that one, but we did miss her). </div>
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All in all it was a successful and fun day with friends, just what running should be!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-83645593557458713782016-03-10T12:30:00.000-05:002016-03-10T12:30:15.651-05:002016 Freezeroo Series RecapsWhen <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/12/winter-training-racing.html" target="_blank">I decided to do the Freezeroo series this year</a>, I knew that it would be a good thing in many ways. Some would be workouts, some would be races, and more likely than not- some wouldn't happen. I skipped the race on New Years day (which I planned all along) to focus on other things. Out of 6 races, your best 4 count for points so that gave me some wiggle room. They weren't perfect, some were better than others, and Upstate NY winter weather only kept one from not happening all together.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Don Curran Memorial 5k</b> (December)</span><br />
Race recap was written---> <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/12/freezeroo-1-don-curran-memorial-5k-2015.html" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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{I decided after the first one that I wouldn't recap them each individually because they weren't individual goals for me. My goal was to look at the series as a whole, and as a stepping stone in training for Boston.}<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Pineway Ponds 5 Miler</b> (January)</span><br />
This weekend was less about the race and more about the fact that <a href="http://www.upstaterunner.com/" target="_blank">Heather</a> and <a href="http://runfastorfaster.com/" target="_blank">Britt</a> were coming out to stay for the night. I had some quality time with Heather in the fall, but it had been a few weeks...and I hadn't seen Britt since <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/10/chicago-marathon-2015.html" target="_blank">CHICAGO</a>! Of course, we had a fun night out Friday which involved beers and burgers.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZSYekHNITYOL0vi_6UdqxKM01-CEXLhKqSXA6YCfZ8nsg9b3lW-ZUO6n-xFfK5PizvY0ZlM3DP921cTzXYBT0VpT9fdZhxDdX3FHeebokHwk-SDbyLrW4n0j6BUe7LCFVVEEozAWoOaE/s1600/Heather+Britt+5+miler.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZSYekHNITYOL0vi_6UdqxKM01-CEXLhKqSXA6YCfZ8nsg9b3lW-ZUO6n-xFfK5PizvY0ZlM3DP921cTzXYBT0VpT9fdZhxDdX3FHeebokHwk-SDbyLrW4n0j6BUe7LCFVVEEozAWoOaE/s400/Heather+Britt+5+miler.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Girls weekend: Burgers, beers, and a 5 mile race</td></tr>
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Race morning was decent weather wise, considering it was January and a Freezeroo race. There was a good amount of wind but certainly could have been worse. I went into it knowing I could PR and potentially win, but wanted to focus on just running hard. I've gotten so much better about not being a slave to my watch, and simply just going out and running. I ended up with a 31:10 which was a little under a minute PR, and also the win which was my second for the series this season. After the race, we cooled down and then walked to a nearby diner for breakfast- I love that my friends share the same love of running and coffee as me.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Hearnish "10kish" Race </b>(January)</span><br />
This race is one I didn't go into with a lot of expectation. It's a recently changed course, with lots of hills and turns. To top it off, it's not even a set distance. For some reason I felt off all morning, including lead legs during warm-up. No idea what it was but I still gave the race a good effort. I ran the first mile or so with another female, we even chatted a little bit which was a good distraction from hills. Around mile 2 she started to pull away, and damn I just didn't have it in me to go with her(Go Amy!). I kept her in the distance and used it as motivation to keep me pushing, I also saw some friends on the out and back portions which helped pass the time and give me reason to smile/high five.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghLZXp4LINZxo_ewFPZpANooiuH2jM9ER-qYyFeKk46AD8NQH58RSj_2jGn4vxcuGvQUxMlWBO93vVcum52NQ-49B6nqb7F38_DPETLx_9e4Vn0MrSjNfNvaWluuiqPnrevczeWMIgSAQ/s1600/DSC08132.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghLZXp4LINZxo_ewFPZpANooiuH2jM9ER-qYyFeKk46AD8NQH58RSj_2jGn4vxcuGvQUxMlWBO93vVcum52NQ-49B6nqb7F38_DPETLx_9e4Vn0MrSjNfNvaWluuiqPnrevczeWMIgSAQ/s400/DSC08132.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This about sums up how I felt the whole race. #glamourshots</td></tr>
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I refused to look at my watch, because I figured ignorance is bliss. I didn't want to know what I was running because it could have only frustrated me, even though I didn't know I wasn't running THAT far off pace (it just felt like it). I finished with 6.35 miles in 40:42. The funny part was, that is technically a 10k PR even with the long distance and not feeling great. I finished in second about 30 seconds behind the female winner, which still left me in good series standing.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Valentines 8 Mile Race</b> (Feburary)-- <i>CANCELLED</i></span><br />
The town encouraged the <a href="http://www.grtconline.org/" target="_blank">GRTC</a> to cancel the race because of the predicted severe weather. It was 20 below zero with the wind, and those winds....were over 20mph with snow. Honestly, I wasn't mad that it was cancelled in fact I was relieved. I'm all about pushing limits and sometimes running in extreme weather for training (never know what race will be!) but some conditions are just stupid.<br />
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I ended up still running the "race" on the treadmill by myself at the gym. No, it doesn't officially count for anything but I'm proud that I was able to get it done. I ran it with a 3 mile warm-up and cool down, for a 14 mile day. The 8 mile portion was run in 50:52 which I was really happy with.<br />
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I spent the rest of the day geeking out on the Olympic Trials Marathon on TV. I could write a post on that whole thing alone, but I won't. Salty Running had some amazing coverage of the trials, pre and post race which really inspired me. Two of our writers were even out there for coverage on race day, read about the <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2016/02/15/trials2016/" target="_blank">pre-race from their perspective</a>, <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2016/02/16/47704/" target="_blank">coverage for at home viewers</a>, and <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2016/02/17/story-of-the-day-part-iii/" target="_blank">some stories of those runners behind the lead pack</a>. There was so many thought provoking moments from that weekend. <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2016/02/15/readers-roundtable-kara-goucher/" target="_blank">Kara's post-race interview</a>- I could easily sway both sides on that one(she ran an incredible race, and she's human). What really got me (as the numbers nerd) was the statistics behind the qualifiers, I wrote about that in detail over on SR: <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2016/02/18/runner-qualifies-trials-matter/" target="_blank">Does How a Runner Qualifies for the Trials Matter?</a> Don't forget all the rage floating around the web about the <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2016/02/25/trials-treatment/" target="_blank">poor treatment of the trials athletes</a>, they deserved better if you ask me.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Edge of the World 10k/Series Finale</b> (February)</span><br />
For me, this was the most important race of the series. My 10k PR was technically still 41:20 from 2013, unless we count the unofficial 40:42 from the Hearnish. I have broken the PR so many times in workouts and such since, but not in a race setting. I REALLY wanted to nail a big PR and sub-40 for the first time.<br />
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Add in the extra motivation to run hard and win, which would secure the overall series title for myself. Yeah, I wanted it all that day and was willing to push hard to get it. I took off quick, and hoped that an early push of the pace would set the tone for the remaining miles. My first 3 miles were under 6:07. I hit the 5k mark in 18:55 which is only 10 seconds slower than my PR! At first a freaked, like oh shit you shouldn't PR a 5k in the middle of a 10k! But, I also remembered that I have done a lot of strong speedwork and really could do both. The wind on miles 4 and 5 slowed me down significantly. I didn't have anyone around me really, add in a slight incline and that headwind really won. I slowed to 6:20/6:28 for those two miles, which I was mentally prepared for because <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2014/02/edge-of-world-10k-freezeroo-thoughts.html" target="_blank">the wind in this race 2 years ago caused the same problem</a>. I didn't look at my watch so I wouldn't get frustrated with the pace. I just kept pushing forward, not knowing where any other females were and hoping I could just hold anyone off. My final mile was back down to 6:04 with a strong finishing kick thereafter.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnVBFZphsdGbhoB0PyW81pAQkEnVqODAaWno1g10z1E_vj3ooFDDMNBaf5HCslDbz6pHYvULtp6SMPOCOtHic87oM2nqxG6NRdiiCtjK32MkZ4vL2JrgvtGRCtSMi3q8ywGA95vVuu9u4/s1600/DSC08534.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnVBFZphsdGbhoB0PyW81pAQkEnVqODAaWno1g10z1E_vj3ooFDDMNBaf5HCslDbz6pHYvULtp6SMPOCOtHic87oM2nqxG6NRdiiCtjK32MkZ4vL2JrgvtGRCtSMi3q8ywGA95vVuu9u4/s400/DSC08534.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>38:37 was the official time which is over a 2 minute PR anyway that you slice it</b>, I also held off for the win which secured my overall series standings. I stood at the finish line cheering in runners for a few minutes before starting my long cool down for a 16 mile day. I had company from another runner on my cool down, which certainly made the extra miles pass quicker (almost too much though...we missed most of the awards ceremony without realizing!).<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Thoughts</b></span><br />
Overall I am really pleased with how the series went. Sure, some might say "well of course you are, you won". Honestly my level of happiness doesn't have much to do with that at all. I ran hard, I got out in different weather conditions, I spent time with other runners (I train solo 95% of the time) and made some new friends. I also set a 10k PR twice, as well as a 5 mile PR twice (my second 10k PR also included a PR for the 5 mile split). I mean, the personal victories combined with the social and training aspects I went in search of for the series are better than any prize.<br />
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Until next year Freezeroo....Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01325067352277421071noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2422411720783541847.post-91784139092387232802016-01-08T14:00:00.000-05:002016-01-08T14:00:03.797-05:00Where I've been (2015) & Where I'm going (2016)I had a million drafts sitting in a folder on here for end of year and beginning of year stuff. Lately finishing posts just hasn't happened- life has. Living it, breathing it and making it have all taken priority over writing about it. Not a bad thing, but I also do want to touch on some bits and pieces of those "would have been" posts.<br />
<br />
2015 was a big year for me in many, many ways. I finally saw some hard earned breakthroughs in my running, I was also able to be there for others during their breakthrough's. My personal life, followed the cliche of "when you stop looking" adage and here I am happier than I have ever been. Life in general, still had the roller coaster high's and low's but nothing that I felt I couldn't handle with the great support I have around me.<br />
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In running, it was a huge year of building. Consistency in training, finding the right support and <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/10/8-reasons-you-might-consider-coaching.html" target="_blank">removing what wasn't working</a> allowed me to really come out on top (personal success). Another 2000+ mile year in the books, with a little less than 200 of those miles raced (22 bibs) and also a new state off the <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/p/race.html" target="_blank">marathon list</a>. I set a personal best in almost all distances with three personally meaningful breakthroughs. Years ago I would say you were crazy if you told me I'd accomplish a <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/09/erie-marathon-2015-sub-3.html" target="_blank">sub 3 hour marathon</a>, a <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/2015/11/25/barleys-philadelphia-half-marathon-recap/" target="_blank">sub 85 minute half</a> and a sub 19 5k(<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/08/bergen-road-race-2015.html" target="_blank">1</a>,<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/10/scare-brain-cancer-away-5k-2015.html" target="_blank">2</a>,<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/11/east-ave-grocery-run-2015.html" target="_blank">3</a>,<a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/12/freezeroo-1-don-curran-memorial-5k-2015.html" target="_blank">4</a> times) let alone all 3 in one year. I also spent some miles this year, helping others reach their goals. <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/05/pacing-at-buffalo-marathon.html" target="_blank">Pacing a half marathon</a>, <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/10/chicago-marathon-2015.html" target="_blank">pacing a marathon</a>, and also <a href="http://www.nycrunningmama.com/2015/10/10/2015-wineglass-marathon-race-recap-312/" target="_blank">running with some friends</a> in parts of their races. I think that those experiences motivated me even more than my own running did.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>My three favorite finish lines from the year?</b></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>The Most Adrenaline Filled</b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJkw_07cRamOIMJdiVZW4ooafGgT6yHggZCP5fy6_4cj6vi37hSrC4stpwGyXxtqSkpa0D7CfFJmT9XjxWhbYGnTkAd92YRLrd8888wQpX_GcHnv4wCOxDe2d6KWmFUD6xpJh4R7YSF2Y/s1600/635815480641283164.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJkw_07cRamOIMJdiVZW4ooafGgT6yHggZCP5fy6_4cj6vi37hSrC4stpwGyXxtqSkpa0D7CfFJmT9XjxWhbYGnTkAd92YRLrd8888wQpX_GcHnv4wCOxDe2d6KWmFUD6xpJh4R7YSF2Y/s320/635815480641283164.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I don't have words to add.</td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>The Most Rewarding & Emotional</b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAKMCmeyjyoS-3SP3-PesaoRCs0Pjc02OB2u2LHWEphhlzq6i5aos0sYTYW84m2SUKTWhlf4e6Wc7UI_gBryc-SxmrcQO2XYK2BbbJtGSqV9v1AmdXWtLRgGjHHstPpd69E8HcTJzAaqo/s1600/Chicago+Finish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAKMCmeyjyoS-3SP3-PesaoRCs0Pjc02OB2u2LHWEphhlzq6i5aos0sYTYW84m2SUKTWhlf4e6Wc7UI_gBryc-SxmrcQO2XYK2BbbJtGSqV9v1AmdXWtLRgGjHHstPpd69E8HcTJzAaqo/s320/Chicago+Finish.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This Photo says it all. I'm emotional, excited and so PROUD of my cadet and friend. Brittany had an amazing first marathon and I was so lucky to experience it first hand with her. Being a part of it throughout the process made it even better, it was so rewarding in a million ways.</td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>The Most Spontaneous and Inspiring</b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuyoWoLMtkjApMkaNCHWZzuKJZ_HYOv0kOOZerbb3n7ICSOHSX7tRMoTE0TNoQCZU3IJS1VpBeW-BkY4SlX66C38NoNCdxPph5mfSfVAq0v89MK8HY0s1IO83tgY7cUX8FkqBqBsYfFn4/s1600/IMG_4621-1024x683.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuyoWoLMtkjApMkaNCHWZzuKJZ_HYOv0kOOZerbb3n7ICSOHSX7tRMoTE0TNoQCZU3IJS1VpBeW-BkY4SlX66C38NoNCdxPph5mfSfVAq0v89MK8HY0s1IO83tgY7cUX8FkqBqBsYfFn4/s320/IMG_4621-1024x683.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Running the last few miles of Wineglass with Michele wasn't necessarily planned. But it was incredible. She didn't NEED me, but I was glad to be there and it was inspiring to watch her pushing through the final miles. She's always been someone I admire, this only solidified that.</td></tr>
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<b>2015 was a year that I really got to experience so much in my life, but also in other peoples lives.</b> I got to be there for some friends during their "big moments". Races, weddings, struggles, all things that I was lucky enough to be by their sides. For clarification, I don't LIKE seeing friends struggle but I certainly can be grateful that I had the chance to give back and help them like they have helped me. I found so much joy this year in being there for others during the good and the bad. Some situations, trying to be a good friend backfired in my face- but I have no regrets. You can't regret supporting others, even if things don't work out.<br />
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During the year I also had some great opportunities fall into my lap. I <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/02/lake-effect-race-weekend-my-2015-team.html" target="_blank">became an athlete</a> for two companies that I have used for years. <a href="http://www.zensah.com/" target="_blank">Zensah</a> and <a href="http://www.honeystinger.com/" target="_blank">Honey Stinger</a> became more than just brands to me, and I'm so excited to be a part of that again. I have been a loyal <a href="http://www.saucony.com/" target="_blank">Saucony</a> runner for years. I stand by their products and the company itself, which made being a coach for their <a href="http://running.competitor.com/saucony-26-strong" target="_blank">Saucony 26 Strong project</a> that much more special. Throw in getting a chance to run a great friends first marathon with her, and experience a race weekend with so many other inspiring women- nothing can compare. Late in the year, I also branched out with my writing and started being a contributor for <a href="http://www.saltyrunning.com/" target="_blank">Salty Running</a>. Over there I'm known as Barley, aka the resident beer girl/runner. I have gotten to know some amazing women through that, and also learned even more about running, training, and the sport itself.<br />
<br />
<b>On a personal level, the year started in the black hole of self pity.</b> <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2014/12/2014-breakaway.html" target="_blank">2014 was incredibly challenging</a> and even though I worked through so much, the overflow of emotions carried into the new year. So, I tried my best to move forward. It involved attempting online dating (yes, I'm serious) which was an adventure to say the least. Beyond that it turned to focusing back on myself. I was working a lot, training hard, dealing with some family stuff, and also just trying to be comfortable on my own two feet in life. I answered to no one and it was incredibly freeing.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKUwoJ9FxhXS6ACQOxlQ8xrk_Leg5jldqa6hGGi1tvEDakXfCgg0dvIwr4ete9RfuT6Oh_d2VZW_Ck9quL-cO3S3YZ5S6D2lMMYgyRil1WApgKGSDeT-sOhPlYs9FhmXn26dcfJc3TsC4/s1600/cf2ea8e2f2dfcff07e2335b53e966c90.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKUwoJ9FxhXS6ACQOxlQ8xrk_Leg5jldqa6hGGi1tvEDakXfCgg0dvIwr4ete9RfuT6Oh_d2VZW_Ck9quL-cO3S3YZ5S6D2lMMYgyRil1WApgKGSDeT-sOhPlYs9FhmXn26dcfJc3TsC4/s1600/cf2ea8e2f2dfcff07e2335b53e966c90.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"So trust me when I say I'm not afraid to eat alone....or with my dog"</td></tr>
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<b>Then one night at work, things changed</b>. I walked in circles over and over, bought this guy a beer, gave him my number and put myself out there. I couldn't tell you what made me do it, but I knew I wanted to. It started great, but then I got scared, overwhelmed with life(you know, like <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/05/recovery-life.html" target="_blank">losing your grandmother</a> two days after <a href="http://www.catchingmybreath.com/2015/04/boston-marathon-2015.html" target="_blank">Boston Marathon</a> and then also finding out your Mom would be moving out of state) and went back to only thinking about myself. Luckily a few months later, when I realized I'd made a mistake- we tried again and the timing was so much better. Timing is everything, and this time we got it right. This fall I packed my stuff up, and moved Moose's kennel to our new home. Moose has a step sister named Pepper, and Brian and I love our little Brady bunch fur family. <b>Cue the awwwweeee's and the eye rolls</b>.<br />
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<b>My 2015 Takeaway?</b> You can't force things. Relationships cannot be forced, timing is everything, and when you know....you know. You cannot force others to be good people, you cannot expect them to change because most of the time they won't see their actions as wrong. You cannot force broken things to be fixed; some friendships, relationships, and life methods are just too far gone to keep pouring time and energy into. That isn't negative, it's realistic. You can't force your training, the PR's or the work that needs to be done to reach your goals. It takes time, effort, and choices to get there and sometimes you'll need help.<br />
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The best part about all of that though? The freedom of letting go, and seeing what happens. Because your stress level will go down when you stop trying so damn hard to make everything fit into what you think it should be. Life isn't perfect, it never will be- but if you try hard for yourself instead of trying hard to make it be something else....things WILL get better.<br />
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<b>Where does that leave me while starting off 2016? </b><br />
Well, the first weekend of the year was pretty amazing. Brian and I had a weekend away together in Buffalo for an NHL game, a night on the town just the two of us, and then rounded it out with witnessing the Bills put a stop to the Jets post-season dreams. We talked, we laughed, we drank, we ate, and we shared a lot of memories together.<br />
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Then this week Boston training officially started. Although I've been sick (not that a cold snowy Bills game where I yelled for 4 hours had anything to do with it), it's still been a good week getting ready for a training cycle that will be challenging but rewarding. This weekend, I get to see Heather and Britt to share beers, miles and laughs. So yeah, I'd say 2016 is starting off pretty darn good.<br />
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I don't know where the rest of the year will go, but for once I'm not over planning, over stressing, or worrying about things that I can't control. With that said, 2016 I think you and I are gonna get along just fine.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZMOtr9APq9N1RVOMqFTsIE-u5rOOviPoPsAxWW7eHAWoJZBciIZBq9RnfW9ZOCMsJdrzSFjLwA_Leoddus4jejefRBsLkMZmw6zs2VLKMZ_akwgNaT8Y4AWNBynkPvPwTGL2Dh_6_ugU/s1600/7513_10100762940653317_7344933811633101482_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZMOtr9APq9N1RVOMqFTsIE-u5rOOviPoPsAxWW7eHAWoJZBciIZBq9RnfW9ZOCMsJdrzSFjLwA_Leoddus4jejefRBsLkMZmw6zs2VLKMZ_akwgNaT8Y4AWNBynkPvPwTGL2Dh_6_ugU/s320/7513_10100762940653317_7344933811633101482_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>So, here's to 2016. </b><br />More Running<br />More Laughter<br />More Love<br />More Family time<br />More Friend time<br />More Writing<br />More Helping Others<br />More Goal Chasing<br />More Nephews to Love....</span></td></tr>
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